Why did we fall into this habit of having sex only at night? Perhaps it’s because a long, long time ago, people felt that sex was dirty and should be hidden. Just kidding: there are still very much to this day communities that, sadly, hold that belief. But sex isn’t dirty and shouldn’t be hidden! (Well, do close the blinds so the neighbors don’t report you for indecent exposure). Sex is perfectly natural, and even healthy, so maybe we should treat it as one of the many other important activities we schedule during our days, rather than just pushing it off until we’re about to fall asleep and barely feel like doing it. How many times have you played the, “Can we stay awake after two bottles of wine and a documentary to have sex?” game with your partner? And how many times have you both lost? Too many, right? My partner and I are getting more on the sex-in-the-day game plan and it’s amazing for so many reasons.
You (probably) haven’t argued yet
The longer the day drags on, the more chance there is for those silly domestic arguments you have about who left dirty dishes out, whose turn it is to take out the trash, or who needs to stay home to greet the plumber or electrician. You don’t really feel like having sex after you’ve calculated utility bills. Having sex earlier means you’re still in that playful part of the day when life hasn’t interfered with your connection yet.
You haven’t had all meals yet
I often don’t want to have sex because I just feel too full and bloated. Considering that dinner is often the heaviest meal I have (I know it shouldn’t be, but it is—I’m working on becoming a bigger breakfast person), I am not really feeling light and flexible when sexy time comes along. I just downed half a pound of lasagna and some toffee cookies with ice cream. Earlier in the day, you still feel svelte and ready for some sexy acrobatics.
You’re (probably) sober
You likely haven’t had cocktails yet at 11am (unless you’re doing mimosa brunch). If you wait until the evening, then you’ve likely had some drinks. You’re feeling tired. Your partner’s equipment may not even work. You’re both just uncoordinated.
You still have energy
Everybody is sleepy come bed time. You know that you and your partner get into bed, both hoping the other initiates things because neither of you has the energy to do it. You kind of sloppily grab around for each other, each of you vying to be on the bottom so you don’t have to do much work. During the day, you’re both still full of energy and willing to be more generous in bed.
It will give you more energy
Not only will you actually have energy going into midday sex, but you’ll also get more energy from the sex for the rest of your day. You may feel like working out, finally assembling that bookshelf, or just tackling your errands for the day after a good romp.
It will boost your confidence
Whatever you have to do the rest of the day, you’ll go into it with more confidence. There’s nothing like a little time beneath the sheets with your partner to leave you feeling on top of the world. You’ll probably present more confidence in a meeting or presentation.
It feels naughty in its own way
Something about doing it when the sun is out feels naughty. It feels out of place, in a good way. Everyone is living their regular lives outside—nobody would suspect you were upstairs doing the nasty.
You don’t feel rushed
At night, you’re just in a rush to get it over with so you can get to sleep earlier and catch an extra REM cycle. You know it’s true. You don’t put much time into foreplay or trying a few positions. You just want to knock one out and pass out. During the day, you aren’t racing your sleep cycle.
Or, you do feel rushed, but it’s exciting
On the flip side, because you are busy during the day between work and errands, there can be a rushed element to sex, but it’s fun—you’re squeezing in a quickie.
You’ll likely get more creative
Because you have more energy, you’ll get creative. You’ll bust out that toy or new lube you’ve been meaning to use. You’ll try a few new positions. You won’t just default to that one boring position that gets everything done for everyone as quick as possible.
You still look and feel cute
By the end of the night, I don’t personally feel very cute anymore—do you? My makeup and hair looked good at the beginning of the day. But at 11pm I look sleepy. My mascara is smudged. My lip liner is no longer on point. During the day, however, I still feel fresh and cute.
You can see more
If you’re going to see every inch of your partner’s body at night, you have to turn on some harsh fluorescent lights. So you do it with the lights off, and don’t get all of that visual stimulation. The daylight, however, is beautifully flattering. So let the sun shine through the window while you undress each other.
You’ll be up to cuddling after
You probably don’t cuddle much after night sex. You both go to your separate corners of the bed and fall asleep. But cuddling after sex is the best—all of those bonding hormones are flowing. You’ll actually feel up to it after day sex.
Less arguments about who fell asleep
My partner and I used to always argue over who was too tired to have sex or who fell asleep before the other one even made it to bed. These arguments aren’t exactly conducive to getting in the mood. So just skip them, and do it during the day.
You may squeeze in two that day
If you do still feel up to it at night, then you just did it twice in a day because you already did it during the afternoon. Hey, the sex life of a long-term couple needs all the help it can get.