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Taking accountability for one’s actions seems to be a forgotten concept these days. The older I get, the more I realize that most adults never did their personal work. When I was a kid, I’d look at grownups and assume that they had things all figured out—that all grownups were wise, emotionally stable, and mature. As a kid and teen, I went through some painful experiences and I’d look at grownups enviously thinking, “They must all already be healed from this stuff.” But, that’s simply not true, is it? We all meet adults in their thirties, forties, fifties…who just never did the personal work to heal from the things that affected them in their adolescence. They developed strange complexes, insecurities, and destructive patterns that they just…continued on with their entire lives, never stopping to ask why or how do I stop this? Getting older does not guarantee becoming wiser. Only pausing to do real, difficult, and often painful personal work and reflection makes us wiser. And for many, that’s too scary to bear so they just never do it. And they have all kinds of excuses. Here are excuses people use to avoid self-reflection and personal work.
He just wasn’t right for me
When it comes to relationships ending, some people just insist and insist it’s all because the other person wasn’t right for them. But there comes a time one must stop and realize that the common denominator in her dozens of failed and short-lived relationships is…her. Nobody will be right for you if you aren’t right with yourself, and don’t stop to learn about your own shortcomings and flaws.
