Ways Marriage Changes A Man - Page 13
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In my experience, marriage does wonderful things to a man. Honestly, I think that a lot of men are a bit lost, reckless, and just sort of meandering until they get married. Marriage changes men a lot, whereas I don’t think marriages changes women as much. Women can move through the world with quite a bit of purpose and clarity, with or without a partner. But, we all know how men can be—just a little unorganized, rowdy, and unfocused when left to their own devices. That’s not all men, but it’s a lot of them. Maybe it’s because they don’t know how to handle the awkward years between leaving their mother’s care, and not having yet found a new female caretaker in a partner. Women seem to handle that time a little better. We stay more on top of things like healthy eating and not partying too much, with or without a parent to tell us to do so. Men are a different story. Here are ways marriage changes a man.
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He views irresponsible friends differently
A man may see his rowdier friends a bit differently. He used to see them as hilarious and the life of the party. The men who could binge drink for three days and sleep with several women at once—they used to just be a source of entertainment. But a married man starts to see these friends differently. He starts to think of how women feel about those kinds of men, and how his wife would feel hanging out with that friend.
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He wants his single friends to find someone
When a man discovers a good relationship, he wants all of his friends to have one. He stops encouraging all those random hookups his friends partake in and starts steering them more towards finding the one.
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His meals make more sense
His meals stop being totally strange compilations of things like popcorn, canned tuna, and olives. He starts to think, “I should make food that I’d be proud to feed another person.”
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He gets better at talking to women
Married men are—in my experience—generally better at speaking to women than super-single men. It just comes with the territory of loving and living with a woman for a long time, and also getting close to her female friends and family members. Married men can talk to women without that odd energy or sexual tension so many men bring to male-female conversations.
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He cares more about the plight of women
It’s hard for a man to be married to a woman without eventually realizing how tough things are for women. Married men are often more aware of the female plight and injustices women experience like sexism in the workplace.
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He analyzes homes for female safety
A married man starts to view potential living arrangements—from cities, to neighborhoods, to actual houses—completely differently. He begins to analyze them for things like safety for women. Would he be comfortable having his wife walk their dog late at night there? Would he be comfortable with a daughter hanging around that part of town?
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He’s more aggressive in financial asks
While men don’t typically struggle with asking for raises, they may ask for them more frequently, and ask for higher ones, once married. Men often feel responsible for financially providing for themselves and their partner, even if their partner also works. It’s just in their DNA.
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He’d rather stay in than go out
The man who used to paint the town red and get kicked out of bars for mischief will become the one in the relationship pushing to stay in. From what I’ve seen, it’s eventually the woman who wants to keep a more active social life than the man in a marriage.
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His discovers a new level of friendship
Men think they know what a best friend is…until they get married. No matter how much they were able to open up to their male friends, their male buddies just couldn’t come close to providing the depth, openness, and vulnerability of conversation a woman can.
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He has less tolerance for misogynistic friends
Married men can quickly lose tolerance for even slightly misogynistic friends. While they used to quietly laugh it off when a friend made sexist comments, now they begin to wonder if they even want to be around those men.
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He identifies female-friendly activities better
Married men become, in an adorable way, better at identifying places, activities, and things women would love. They can spot a restaurant and know, “My wife would love to have a girls’ night there with her friends” and he’d probably be right!
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His ego diminishes, in a good way
The male ego undergoes some healthy and important changes in a marriage. Chauvinism, aggression, bossiness, and stubbornness have no place in a marriage. If any man is going to stay in a marriage, he often learns he needs to tone down that ego.
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He’s better at compromising everywhere
Marriage teaches a man to be better at compromising and at putting himself in the shoes of other’s. That makes him better at friendships, family relationships, work relationships…really every type of relationship.
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He becomes more protective of women
When a man is married, he becomes so used to looking out for the safety of his wife that he becomes very aware of the safety of all women. He’ll notice if a woman at a restaurant—a woman he doesn’t even know—seems uncomfortable about a man speaking to her, and may even go over and check on her.
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He takes fewer risks
Driving drunk, racing friends on the freeway, cliff-diving, and similar activities become less enticing to a married man. He starts to realize that his death would mean the loss of a life partner for his wife.
