Things That Change Friendships

Mixed race women on urban rooftop. (via Getty)

As we grow and go through life, there are inevitable changes that occur and, unfortunately, not everyone is able to stay for the whole journey. There are a host of reasons why friendships change, and it’s not always a specific incident or something someone has done wrong, sometimes life puts distance between two individuals who at one point were thick as thieves.

If you’ve been struggling with a lack of closeness between your girls or trying to figure out why your dynamic is different, here’s a list of reasons why friendships change.

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Moving

As the old saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind.” When you move away from your friends, it means that you all have to work that much harder to keep the friendship alive. This can be a tough thing to navigate through if their isn’t a joint effort to put the friendship as a priority.

Thankfully modern technology has made it pretty easy to communicate with your friends when you live in different places, so take advantage of Skype calls and FaceTime, to keep up the visual communication.

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Boyfriends

It happens to the best of us. As soon as you get into a relationship and you’re all boo’d up, your friends move down on your list of priorities. While it’s natural to be totally wrapped up in new love, you have to still make time for your friends.

It may be hard, but tear yourself away from your man long enough to start spending more quality time with your friends. Also, when you’re with them be present and resist the urge to constantly check your phone for messages from your boyfriend.

Bride and groom smiling at each other. (via Getty)

Marriage

Relationships may be a notable obstacle for a friendship, but a marriage is an even bigger battle. The harsh reality is that when you get married your life and priorities change and rightfully so. This means that as a friend you have to understand that some growing pains in the friendship are highly likely.

Don’t crowd the newlyweds, let them have the space to enjoy their marriage without outside interference. On the other hand, just because you’re married it doesn’t mean that you should just drop your friends entirely, especially if they have always been there for you.

Portrait of smiling mixed race family sitting on front stoop. (via Getty)

Kids

Just like marriage, having kids can greatly change the dynamics of a friendship. You have to understand that being a parent does and should come first, so give your friends some time to get into the groove of balancing being a parent with their social life.

Additionally, don’t be upset that your friend can no longer hang out late or travel at a moment’s notice. For the new parent in the scenario, remember that having kids doesn’t mean that you are no longer allowed to have a life, so don’t feel guilty about hanging with your friends every once in awhile.

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Religion

The only topic more sensitive than politics is of course, religion. Talking about religion can turn friends into enemies pretty quickly and you certainly don’t want that.

Avoiding the topic when you have extremely different viewpoints is the best route to take, but sometimes the issue comes up anyway. When this happens, allow all of your friends opinions to be heard and simply agree to disagree.

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Age

You can’t avoid this even if you tried. The reality is that as we age, the people, interests and outlooks we once had no longer appeal to us. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, as it’s apart of growth, but it could mean some friendships don’t make the cut.

If you’ve tried to salvage the friendship, but the gap between what you now have in common has grown considerably, then their is nothing else you can really do. You can still have some semblance of a friendship, but don’t feel guilty that it’s not what it used to be.

France, Paris, Young woman taking smart phone selfie in front of Eiffel Tower. (via Getty)

Interests

Common interests is one of the main things that establishes friendships in the first place, so what happens when those interests are no longer there? This is a question many friendships face as they grow older.

If some of your friends are more settled with husbands and children, but you are still single, your interests are bound to change a bit. Maybe you love to travel all over the world, while your friends like to keep things close to home, whatever it is you should try to find at least one common interest and keep it going.

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Schedules

Busy schedules dominate most of our lives these days and that can be the main reason why your friendships are suffering. It may be hard to do, but if your friendship is really important everyone needs to make the effort to find time in their schedule so that friendship remains intact.

Perhaps weekly or biweekly friendship meetups are too challenging, but you can certainly find the time to get together at least once a month. It doesn’t have to be something elaborate or thought out, a simple girl’s session with a few cocktails and conversation should do the trick.

Selfie of three young friends. (via Getty)

New Friends

Hey, it happens. With life changes comes the very real possibility that you’ll make new friends. These new friends may occupy a space in your life that your old friends don’t and that could make things complicated.

Like any relationship, friendships can become territorial, especially when someone new is infiltrating things, so to speak. They key to having your new and old friends happily coexist is to not force one on the other. If they naturally become friends on their own fine, but it’s perfectly okay to keep the friendships separate.