Source: RollingOut.com

I’ve been sitting back looking at this whole Chriannarueche love triangle come together and fall apart, and what I see are a bunch of immature adults playing kid games. They follow and unfollow each other on Twitter, Matt Kemp and Drake get pulled into the mix via Instagram likes whenever it seems Rihanna has something to prove to the torn Brown, and in the process reputations are built and hearts (and egos) get broken.  The problem with playing head games is that they can escalate into situations that can do a lot of damage over what is usually in the end something very trivial. For example, I’m sure during that whole bar brawl that involved Chris Brown and Drake that Riri’s name was thrown around as ammo to hit some nerves.  It happens everyday; if this were an episode of “The First 48,” Matt Kemp could easily be a gunshot victim, Chris Brown would be in a jail cell with nothing but his defeated ego to keep him company and Rihanna would be crying in an interrogation room with in front of some overweight detective about how “it wasn’t supposed to go this far.”

Maybe I’m being extreme, but women don’t realize how these shallow moments of insecurity and need for validation quickly grow into intense altercations. Although all the parties involved are technically adults, I’m reminded of my late teens when I’d call up my ex every time my boyfriend and I argued, knowing damn well I wasn’t interested, but just wanted to feel well…wanted.  I get it.  It’s harder to be the bigger person when you feel betrayed, belittled and embarrassed.  It’s hard to not let your emotions dictate your actions and think logically when so many of your feelings are invested.

But think about it:  What you are really accomplishing in the long run?  When you make it difficult for the father of his kids to see his children and run back and forth to court knowing damn well he is doing the best he can financially and emotionally, but you feel some of way because he is dating someone new, who are you really hurting?  When you try to make a violently dramatic relationship work and keep the cops on speed dial for “domestic” disputes knowing full well you will drop the charges, how seriously do you expect the law to take women whose lives are really at risk from abusive spouses? When you have no respect for a man’s feelings and simply call him up to keep you company whenever the man you really want leaves you high and dry after he uses you, how can you expect anyone to truly love and respect you?

It’s all about learning to live with and love yourself.  When I see women play games like the ones it seems Rihanna plays with men, all I see is a woman who constantly needs company and validation.  We have to find the courage and the honesty to say, “I’m hurt. I feel like an idiot,”  instead of trying to cover the pain with subliminal Facebook status updates and profound Instagram quotes like, “Examine what you tolerate.”  In the process of loving hard, but putting up a front of keeping your cool when it all falls apart the only one who ends up looking silly is you, because through all of those subliminal tweets and pictures of you partying and supposedly loving your life we all can see someone desperately trying to cover pain and rejection.  There’s a certain class and sophistication that comes with being real or just not responding to drama at all.  When rumors fly about Jay cheating, do you see Beyonce sub-tweeting other women?  No, because she refuses to make her relationship entertainment for the viewing public trying to get through the boring hours of the workday.  In return, hate her and her relationship all you want, but you any rumors about her relationship end up falling apart because she’s not giving you anything to speculate about.   In fact, the times I respect Rihanna the most is when she’s vulnerable and honest, like during her Oprah interview.  Because the truth is love and relationships are all about breaking down your ego, being hurt and played like a fool.  You have to be vulnerable in order to ever feel joy, and that means feeling some pain.  People can relate to that and understand that, but when you’re so busy trying to be the baddest b**ch that can easily move on and save face, you only end up looking like a loser at your own game.

So the next time you feel compelled to start an unnecessary argument with your man just to see how far he’ll go to prove his love, or Facebook beef with the new girlfriend who’s pretty talented and only guilty of loving the same deadbeat who is leading the both of you on, take a minute to think about what you’re really feeling.  Is that anger really jealousy?  Is that confidence as fleeting as the man who gives it you?   Only then, when you’re able to identify and express what you’re truly going through, will you realize that there are no winners when it comes to playing love games.  And that the only way to get what you want is to grow up, be honest and play fair.

Have you ever played “head games” to save face in a relationship?

Toya Sharee is a community health   educator   and   parenting education coordinator whelping  young women build  their self-esteem and make  well-informed choices about their sexual  health.  She also advocates for women’s  reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships.  Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog Bullets and Blessings .

Instagram

There it is.

That chest belongs to every woman’s favorite fine baseball player, Los Angeles Dodgers star Matt Kemp.  Anytime we’re able to get a glance at that face and chest, you know it’s going to be a good day. But I digress.

Matt got the tattoo about a week ago and the work was done by celebrity tattoo artist, Jun Cha, who is based in Los Angeles.

The tat illustrates his grandparents, Doris and the late Vernon Mukes. The picture was originally on what appeared to be a church fan. According to USA Today, his grandmother once said, “You’ve got this beautiful body and you mar it all up.” It’s amazing that his grandmother and all the ladies of the world – or, at least the ones who know who he is – can agree on the fact that he has a beautiful body.

Let me ask this though: Does it kind of freak you out?  We know that people get tattooed all the time with others’ faces but to be honest, this particular one is huge.  If Matt had his shirt off in front of you, do you think it would seem like three people would be looking back at you?

Eh, let’s keep it real: Once the shirt is off, that tattoo is not going to do one thing to stop the inevitable.

Are you tatted off? Would a face tat this big on your man be a turn?

Source: Djansezian/Getty

The rumors that Rihanna dumped Chris Brown may just be true. RiRi was spotted having dinner with ex-boyfriend Matt Kemp over the weekend.

Sources say that Matt was spotted at a Los Angeles restaurant, sitting at the bar by himself and willingly posed for a photo with a group of female fans while he waited for his date. Moments later Rihanna walked in and the two were then escorted off to a private dinner table.

Brian To/WENN.com

Damn that Rihanna! If she doesn’t have one of the hottest bodies out there, she has her pick of the hottest guys in sports, modeling, music, and Hollywood in general. Before she chewed him up and spit him out, Matt Kemp was Rihanna’s rebound boo after Chris Brown. While rebounds are fun, we know they never last all that long. Especially since Chris and Ri were clearly destined to get back together, throw it in our faces, and then say it’s “nobody’s business.” But don’t feel sad for Kemp, hell, he’s living THE life. The outfielder for the Dodgers is one of the highest paid players in the MLB, and we couldn’t help but notice how FIONE (yes with an “o”) he is, which means he won’t be single for long. So why is Kemp worth Evening Eye Candy glory? Not only because we said so, but because he deserves it.

syle4fash.com

As the saying goes, the best way to get over a new man (or woman) is to get under a new one.  Of course, you don’t literally have to get up under the person (unless that’s your style – no judgments here); you could just date someone new and kick it.  Most of us do it; even (and maybe, especially) the celebrities all go through a breakup and want to get past it by playing around with someone new…and quickly. In their cases, some have lasted and some have not!

Take a look at the list we came up with.  Have you ever had a rebound? Was it for the short term or has it worked out for you?

Read the rest of this entry »

posh24.com

Baseball season is right around the corner and with that comes a new group of cuties we need to keep our eyes on: baseball players! See, everyone is so fixated on the NFL and NBA players that we tend to forget about MLB boos.  Well, I’ve been looking and researching on who the hottest players are and compiled a short list of who we should give a second – and maybe, third – glance. I’ve got my eye on one in particular! Feel free to add a name or two because we need all of our bases (lol) covered!

Read the rest of this entry »

If Dr. Drew could take a break from talking about interracial dating and trying to figure out black women’s hair, I’d like him to get J Lo, Eva Longoria, and Demi Moore in a room and tell them to have a seat. These women take the phrases “on to the next one” and “here today, gone tomorrow” to a whole new level when it comes to relationships.

Demi Moore might deserve a little slack, there’s no confirmation that she’s really dating beauty mogul Scott-Vincent Borba, and after six years with Ashton Kutcher, she probably needs something new; but the ink was barely dry on the divorce papers when Eva Longoria started showing up in photos with Eduardo Cruz (and she may potentially be creeping with Matt Barnes).

The worst serial monogamist of them all is J Lo. There has barely been a minute to write an article about this chic and who she’s dating as quickly as she switches it up—Marc Anthony, Bradley Cooper, Casper Smart, Marc Anthony again—nobody knows, and that’s just recent J Lo. Diddy, Ben Afleck, and Chris Judd were also substituted pretty quickly back in the day. Until Rihanna recently declared her disdain for the single life, she received similar side eyes for her suspected man hopping from Chris Brown to Matt Kemp to Colin Farrell to Dudley O’Shaughnessy, and whoever else in between.

I know celebs tend to march to a different drum somewhere high up on a pedestal coated in gold and laced with Swarovski crystals, but I think the breathing period in between men is a universal dating recommendation these women missed the memo on. People are particularly concerned about J Lo vacationing with a new man and her kids so soon, although presumably, as her backup dancer, Casper may have already known the twins before he and Jenny from the Block became more than coworkers.

All of these women seem to suffer from a need to have a man around, and that can be pretty dangerous when you’re already vulnerable after a recent break up. I know sometimes you just want to get back out there and find someone to preoccupy your time, but getting boo’d up too quickly reeks of I-need-a-man-to-be-happy syndrome and may be the reason these ladies haven’t been so lucky in love overall. All I’m saying is 3 months of solitude wouldn’t kill you would it, ladies?

Who are some other stars who never seem to stay single for long? How soon do you think is too soon to start dating after a breakup?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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I’m not a baseball fan whatsoever, so last time (and first time) I heard anything about Matt Kemp, he was the arm candy for Rihanna. The stylish couple were together for almost a year, and in that time, we thought Matt was cute, but not all that.

But GEEZ! Were we wrong! Homeboy is fine as all out doors in this photoshoot for Flaunt magazine, literally flaunting his fit body and beautiful eyes. Allegedly he’s having an MVP-esque season in the MLB, and is getting paid nearly $7 million this season for his work. But honestly, if he worked at Starbucks slinging frappuccinos and looked this good, I’d probably be down. Feel free to drool…You’re welcome.

By Khadija Allen

Breakups are hard especially when your business is thrust into the spotlight for the world to see. The sudden realization that celebrity status garners media publicity is only half the battle when you have to dispel the rumors about you and your significant other. But this year, these celebrities have managed to come back with a vengeance despite having tumultuous or even scandalous affairs! For that, they get an “A” in our book and another for getting their mojo back!

Check it out.