Source: Clutch

It is the arrogance of childhood that makes us think that we will grow up and be on equal footing with our best friends. We think we will go through the natural transitions of girlhood into womanhood – giving up dolls for make up and nail polish, prom dates, college, marriage and kids –at the same time. Some of us even go so far as designating each other as godmothers to nonexistent babies that are supposed to come after dream weddings. Yet, as we all know, life comes calling and its rare that these dreams are actualized the way we conjured them.

One of the biggest wake up calls of my 20s  is seeing how many of my close friends have fallen so far from their initial plans. Dream schools were picked out, majors declared, and fellowships verbally claimed…but that feels like so long ago. Friends who I thought would leave me envious are nowhere near enviable to me. When I look at my own life, I feel almost a bit of guilt. Out of all those whom I started my journey into womanhood with, only a couple of are still running alongside me,  gunning for the goals they had set out for themselves.

Yeah, I know we’re all adults. Me and my girls are, to a large degree, responsible for the ways our lives have shaped out so far and how they will continue to do so in the future. This is why the guilt I feel at times is so perplexing to me. Why should I feel guilty for doing what I said I was going to do? I shouldn’t feel as if I need to be an apologists for my achievements, and yet the sensations gnaws at me every time they inquire, “what’s new?” My mother told me I was going to leave many friends behind; that those I started out with, wouldn’t be the ones I would end with — but, that knowledge has not helped alleviate the sadness in the situation.

I, at times, sit and wonder, where the hell did things change so much? When did visions change? When were goals reassessed/forgotten/carelessly dismissed?! I could have sworn that my girls and I started off on the same page, but this may not be so. What pains me the most is no longer having much to talk about with these old friends of mine. The days of our long, winding conversations about nothing and everything are as foreign to me as an Eastern European language. We no longer have anything to talk about due to the differing cultures of our lives. I cannot understand their lamentations of their husbands and/or children, because I don’t have them. And they, cannot understand my lamentations on my burgeoning career and single-girl expeditions, because that are the contents of my life, and my life alone.

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Tyler C and Dharun R - Source: moviespad.com

While Dharun Ravi, now 20, thought he was just playing an innocent practical joke on his roommate, Tyler Clementi, it was decided today in court that it was not a joke, but indeed a hate crime. Ravi captured Clementi’s sexual encounter with an older man and showed it on a webcam to countless classmates in 2010.  Devastated by the fact that he was displayed by his roommate to so many strangers, Clementi committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge soon after finding out. Now this childish act could possibly cost Rhavi his freedom, as well as the opportunity to stay in the United States.

The jury came down with the verdict after 12 hours of deliberation, and Ravi will be sentenced on May 21, facing up to 10 years in prison, as well as possible deportation. Ravi is an Indian citizen who spent the majority of his life in the U.S.  He is currently free on bail, but had to turn over his passport. And while Rhavi and his attorney were hoping to push the idea that it was just a misguided prank by an immature freshman, Ravi’s own instant messages and emails around the time of the crime were the nail in the coffin: “Roommate asked for room till midnight. Went into Molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.” Those type of statements, along with the fact that Ravi tried to tape Clementi’s sexual encounters with the same man not just once, but twice–but he was stopped when Clementi found out what was going on–didn’t help him at all.

Ravi was convicted on ALL 15 counts, including two counts of bias intimidation based on sexual orientation (a hate crime),  invasion of privacy and tampering with evidence and witnesses. Last year, Clementi’s family said they didn’t want the punishment for Rhavi to be too harsh. They spoke out today after the verdict was read.

“The trial was painful for us, as it would be for any parent who must sit through and listen to people talk about bad things that were done to their child.”

While I hope they don’t deport Ravi, and that in the end, he doesn’t wind up with all 10 possible years in prison, I can understand why someone would think that sort of punishment would be necessary for him. We clearly live in a time now where bullies are pushing young people way too far (to other acts of violence or suicide), and not much is being done about it. Therefore, if this can open some young person’s eyes to the consequences of their own actions…then sadly, so be it.

Do you think he should have been found guilty? Was it a childish prank gone wrong, or was he acting out of hate?

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Well, that’s all folks. Michael Jackson has been dead since June 25, 2009, and after a media circus that has painted both the late singer and his personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, as irresponsible and greedy folks, and a trial that didn’t get started until two years later, you can say that some form of justice has been served. Dr. Conrad Murray was just found guilty of involuntary manslaughter by a jury that deliberated for a total of nine hours over two days.

While Murray’s lawyers tried their damndest to make it seem that Jackson was under so much pressure to perform and do well, that he took sleep sedatives on his own and administered a dose of Propofol to himself when Dr. Murray stepped out of the room, it didn’t work. The jury found that no matter who gave him the final dose or how he got it in his system, Murray was responsible because he was suppose to keep an eye on Jackson, and by leaving him alone, he caused the singer’s death. Especially since it was reported by witnesses that Murray was on the phone “parlaying” while his client stopped breathing.

Dr. Conrad Murray is now possibly looking at a maximum of four years in prison or a minimum of probation and the loss of his medical license. His license has already been suspended in California, so that seems like the probable next step. Judge Michael Pastor has decided to keep Murray in custody for the time being until sentencing.

Not sure if I feel happy or sad.

Let me rephrase that actually: I’m very happy that this over-amplified case is over, but still sad that Michael Jackson is gone. I was and will always be a huge fan of the singer, so knowing the manner in which he lost his life and the plans he had before he passed, it’s all still somewhat upsetting. However, I might be one of the few folks out there that doesn’t think Murray should go to jail for this. Blame that man for his death if you want, but in reality, blame can go around and around and around, from the folks in his family to the people that were supposed to be on his “team.” Real talk, I had no idea that MJ was addicted to drugs until he died (he covered it well), but those around him knew: his friends, some in his family. Hell, even Lisa Marie Presley admitted that his addiction ended their relationship, an addiction she became aware of in 1995. If this is true, then we can all see that folks had YEARS to intervene. But here we are, and all it took was one seriously misguided doctor to decide to take a phone call for all the blame to be transferred to him.

So yes, Dr. Conrad Murray is a mess for being greedy enough to ignore the morals of his practice to make money. However, I don’t look at him, or hear the details of the case and think he truly meant to put the icon in a coffin. He just got played into feeding Jackson’s habit, and in the end, played himself. But in all honesty, he’s not the first physician to do so for the pop star, he’s just the first one to get caught. I say strip this man of his license, give him probation, let him walk the streets with an infamous name, and leave the mess at that. He is the official scapegoat for a lot of people, but does he deserve jail? If you ask me–nope. I think losing the right to practice, knowing what he did for the rest of his life, and knowing that so many people are disgusted by him is more than enough. Maybe this will teach other people in Hollywood to start stepping up for the sake of their sick family members instead of letting them do whatever and take whatever because they don’t want to get cut off from a share of money they don’t deserve (and that’s directed at you poppa Joe, Jermaine and La Toya…).

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