All Articles Tagged "black fathers"

Daddy Daughter Moments: Willow Napping on Her Daddy’s Chest

July 16th, 2012 - By Veronica Wells
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Source: Facebook.com (Jada Pinkett Smith)

Willow’s constant experimentation with her hair has caused some to believe that this 11 year old girl is growing up too fast. But this image of her all curled up on her dad’s chest proves that she’s still just a little girl. Jada recently posted this picture of the daddy-daughter duo on her Facebook page with the following caption.

Being a fatherless daughter these are the moments I cherish.

Love.

j

This already adorable photo along with Jada’s profound caption make this image very powerful.

We love it!

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A Gift for Father’s Day: Health & Happiness

June 16th, 2012 - By Jouelzy
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http://naacp-ct.org/blacknews.htm

I love my Father. I feel so blessed to have landed such a great one. The best chef, a wizard with words and a craftsman who has built houses with his bare hands. I owe a lot to him. He prepared me for so much in life.

However, there’s one thing he never prepared me for. As I approach my late twenties I’m struggling with watching my Father age. It’s like it happened over night. My Father was in his early thirties when I was born and other than his weight fluctuating he hadn’t aged much once he hit 40 years old. Since I moved out at 18, I’ve seen my father in 3-6 months intervals ever since. But it’s been these last two years where each visit it’s like I’m seeing a new person. And I’m terrified. Every visit I’m being reminded that there will be a day when I have to say a final good bye, a day where I will miss him and I can’t hop on the train to see him or pick up the phone and call him. Just the thought brings me to tears and now I have a visual reminder that it is the reality of me getting older, my parents are too. However what separates my Mother from my Father in the aging process, are factors that affect most men, especially the Baby Boomers of color. Mental health.

The Black community has long skirted the issue of mental health, curtly brushing it under the rug. Smacking it down as some repugnant trait of those with less melanin. Even as we have watched some of our biggest celebrities grapple with the complexities of poor mental health, D’angelo, Junior Seau, Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston. Our community has ignored the gravity that mental health has on our over well-being and quality of life. This is especially true for Black men who often are taught to define their masculinity by their ability to hold in their emotions. Never cry, never break down…you must always pick your self up and keep it moving. My Father has been threw two divorces, a failed engagement and a recession that wiped out his 401k and hopes of retiring anytime soon. He was trained to pick it up and keep it moving, never letting on to any emotional turmoil. He grinned and bared it all. My Mother was hit exceptionally hard just as my Father, with the ending of her marriage, another failed relationship, the complete burglary and then loss of her home. She too grinned and bared it, right to the therapist and gym. For women, though we still have a long way to go, the push towards understanding our mental health has been a lot more rampant and vocal. My Mother has had a chance to hear that discussion.

As a twenty something, watching the recession help make my college degree close to worthless, fighting to stay a float in the biggest rat race known as New York City and the myriad of other struggles that have left me not wanting to get out of bed, the biggest mental note savior has been that I can’t give up because I still have so much life to live. At 60 years old, the same mental note doesn’t carry much weight. The aging I’ve seen my Dad undergo, seems to be a clear sign of his beginning to give up. He’s going through the motions of life and it’s as if I’m watching him dig his own premature grave.

Father’s Day is Sunday, and the biggest gift you can give to your Father is that of happiness and health. There’s a myriad of statistics to back up my personal tale, even Soledad O’brien touched on it on Black in America. But it’s not numbers that need to move you. Rather your heart that makes you sit down and have that careful conversation with your father. No one wants to see their Dad die from a sudden heart attack, stroke or any other stress induced condition. We can’t ignore how our Father’s eating, sleeping and personal hygiene habits are indicative of their mental health. If any of those habits are faltering it is a clear connection to their mental health.

Put out some thoughtful suggestions even if he shoots them down, just ask that he think about them on his own. Then offer to do your part to help him get better. It can be as simple as calling every day to pray with him, offering to make his bed, buy him new pillows (good sleep is important!), whatever simple task cater it to your father’s needs and being.

I implore all of you for Father’s Day to make that start too. Find your angle and have that talk with your father.

I did and in one sentence I burst into tears and finished out an hour long conversation in between sobs.

Dad, I love you and I need you to live long(er)…

Jouelzy is a professional snarkist, with a heart, who occasionally offers cultural commentary on her blog LetMeTalkMyIsh*. You can also find her on Twitter.

 

Can We Stop the Black Male Bashing…At Least on Father’s Day?

June 14th, 2012 - By Veronica Wells
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I remember the first time I learned that people, children specifically, “didn’t have fathers.” My first grade tormentor Derek taught me that lesson. Derek, the bully, the pest, the agitator, who rarely spoke kindly or honestly, told me, matter of factly, that he didn’t have a father. Being that my father has always been a constant physical and emotional presence in my life, I really didn’t understand what he meant by that. How could someone not have a father? I took the question to my mother and she told me, “Everyone has a father. Some people just don’t know their fathers or their fathers aren’t around them that often.” I didn’t fully grasp what “not having a father” might mean to someone but I did sympathize with people like that, even Derek.

Today, I still don’t completely understand but as I’ve gotten older and been around more and more people who know this story, I’ve seen just how hurtful it can be. I’ve been around men who referred to their fathers as “sperm donors.” I’ve known women who sought the love they lacked from their fathers in other unworthy men and I’ve even come across a few people who’ve said not having a father in their lives didn’t affect them one way or the other.

A couple of years ago, I got into a pretty intense debate with an associate who used Father’s Day to broadcast his grievances with black men in general. I was enraged. Sure, there are deadbeat dads in our community, maybe even more than other communities, but don’t attack all black men when there are also numerous examples of black men doing the right thing when it comes to their children.

In recent years I’ve come to realize that my associate wasn’t the only one.

How many of our leaders, black leaders, take the time to celebrate black fathers? How many black clergymen use Father’s Day as another day to bash black men instead of dedicating the day to celebrating the fathers who are taking care of their children? I know the Pastor of my home church hasn’t always celebrated black men on Father’s Day. Not surprisingly, he grew up without a father. Even President Obama, who writes and speaks candidly about his father’s absence, spent a majority of his now famous Father’s Day speech at the Apostolic Church of God in 2008 telling black men to step up.

It wasn’t until later, like earlier today, that I realized that they, my associate, my pastor and even President Obama, were speaking from a place of hurt. They were projecting their experiences, their pain onto the entire community.

And I don’t completely disagree with them. There are some…a lot of black men who do need to step up and have a more effective role in their children’s lives. What I don’t agree with, is the attack on all black men. Society does that everyday of the year. The brothas who are trying and succeeding at being good fathers to their children deserve some recognition. Why can’t they get that on Father’s Day? After all, I don’t see deadbeat or absentee mothers being derided on Mother’s Day. And we all know those women exist…

Since I’m calling for the celebration of good black fathers it’s only right that I take a little time to thank my own father for his guidance, his wisdom, his humor, his provision, his encouragement and his presence. I hope that on Father’s Day and everyday you, and all the fathers like you, receive the recognition you deserve for a [tough] job well done.

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7 Single Celeb Dads Who Deserve to Be Celebrated

June 13th, 2012 - By madamenoire
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Source: styleblazer.com

From styleblazer.com

By Tameika Lawrence

Mommies get a lot of love.  But when it comes to fathers, the focus is always on what they’re not doing right.  We hear enough about no-good ratchet baby-daddies.  It’s time to highlight the men who balance successful full-time careers with properly and affectionately rearing their children.  With Father’s Day around the corner, they deserve a little praise, no?  Check out these seven single celeb dads we love for being real fathers to their offspring. We salute you!

Check out who makes the list at styleblazer.com

 

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Father Delivers Healthy Baby Girl on Bathroom Floor

May 2nd, 2012 - By madamenoire
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Source: theGrio.com

From theGrio.com

Leia Taylor was not born in the hospital like most babies. Instead, she came into the world last week on the bathroom floor — delivered by her father Christopher Taylor.

Mother Ivonne Rodriguez went into labor (about two weeks early) last week inside the bathroom of the apartment that the engaged couple shares in Bensalem, Pa. After what Rodriguez described to the Bucks County Courier Times as an ordinary Sunday, she began experiencing back pain and irregular contractions. After the pain subsided and the couple ate dinner, Rodriguez took a shower as the back pain returned.

While in the shower, Rodriguez went into labor and called for her fiancé, who ran into the bathroom while dialing 911.

Watch the couple describe the scary delivery at theGrio.com. 

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The Black Community: Who Has the Answers?

March 28th, 2012 - By Rachel Louissaint
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Source: soulbrotherv2.blogspot.com

 

The large number of black men missing from the home have taken the blame for the disconnect in the black community for years now. It seems as though black women, for whatever reason, were left with the burden of trying to formulate a structural foundation. They were left to bear the burden of trying to play mom and dad while still making sure that there was food on the table . Whether it is because black men are in jail or have willingly left the household, statistically speaking, there is a disparity with the number of fathers in the home. I am not here to bash black men and I don’t think that that the black man is to blame for all of the issues within our community, it is just one avenue to explore. I am more concerned with the effect  that the lack of role models and structure in the black community will have on generations to follow.

I have recently spent more time analyzing this issue because my schools is located in a predominately black community. Every day I see the struggle of black woman and children in the community. Whether they are rushing to gather their children to get to work and school or they are walking their child to school, there is something to be said for the strength and gusto of the black woman. I even see the black women in my department leave work during their lunch break to go and pick up their children to bring them back to work with them after school. After 5pm my school hallways are filled with the children of these hard working mothers. It is no surprise that whenever musicians are asked to credit their success to something, it is always to the strong presence of their mothers.

We often forget that these hard working black mothers are also women. For all of the stability and love that these mothers provide for their children, they need the same support and care in return. Who is there to do that for them? Even looking at my own mother, I see that she has her moments where she sits and stares off into space. I always wonder what’s on her mind, then a sense of loneliness fills the room. I often feel sad because I know she wants a companion. Every woman longs for a companion to share her life with and to help them support her family. All of the women in my family are single mothers and I often marvel at the fact that they do everything on their own, sometimes with absolutely no help from the fathers of their children. The plight of the black mother is nothing to take lightly. The fact that the single- mother household is increasingly becoming the norm, is a problem.

This struggle trickles down to the younger generations.  What message are little girls and boys getting by watching their mothers and fathers struggle? The little girls learn either to carry the same strength as their mothers or they have such a great desire not to end up alone like their mothers that they end up in less than satisfactory relationships. The boys grow up to be men that really have no guidance or direction as to who they should be and what their responsibilities as men are. Even looking at my own family, I can’t say that any of the young males in my family know what it means to be a real man. I would want my own brother to be a strong black man with a foundation and morals but advice coming from the mouth of his sister doesn’t leave the same impression on him if it were to come from my father.

That being said, who is to be the examples of strength and solidarity for our younger generations? Nobody wants to see this cycle continue, sowho is going to teach our young men and women? In a world where any of our black sons, cousins and brothers could have been Trayvon Martin, the need for role models and teachers to the younger generations is imperative. I believe that to have a strong community there needs to be balance and support. In one of my many college electives classes we explored the concept of family and the role it played in different racial societies.  For example, in Asian communities family is the root and the core of everything. The children are raised in a supportive environment because the structure is there before they are even born. The children are molded by a family unit so that when they enter into the real world they have a sense of who they are and what goals they should reach for. I would want similar objectives for my own community. I don’t presume to know all the answers to solve all the problems with one article, for I myself fall into the category of a statistic (coming from a single parent home). I am tired of looking at other races flourish while I am watching my own people repeat the same cycle. I am not sure what can bring the much needed change, or what role I can play in it, I just know that it is imperative that something is done.

Rachel Louissaint is a graduate student and a blogger. Check out her own blog Ebonymaiden.com or follow her on twitter at @Ebony_Maiden.

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Tribute To My Father

June 19th, 2011 - By nativenotes
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Like Father, Like Son
What is a father?
Any man can make a baby
But it takes a real man to father a child
To nurture, protect and teach that child the way

Requires not only a man
But a father

Read the rest of this entry »

Mediatakeout's Founder Dishes Fatherhood Advice

June 18th, 2011 - By TheEditor
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(CBS News) — He’s been dubbed the “Matt Drudge of African American entertainment” by the New York Times – and while he takes his racy reporting seriously, celeb blogger and former Wall Street corporate tax attorney Fred Mwangaguhunga knows that fatherhood ultimately trumps any scoop he may get.  When he’s not reporting on rappers’ indiscretions, Rihanna’s latest hairdo, Beyonce’s Hot, new promo, or Chris Brown’s latest antics for MediaTakeOut.com, he’s a stay-at-home dad to three little stars in their own right – his triplets, David, Eva and Sam.

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Obama Administration Deals With Daddy Issues

June 16th, 2011 - By TheEditor
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(The Root) — It sometimes rubs people the wrong way. But President Obama has a tendency to talk about parental responsibility, especially as it pertains to absentee dads, when addressing African-American audiences.  “Michelle and I happen to be black parents, so I may add a little ‘umph’ to it when I’m talking to black parents,” he joked to the National Urban League last summer by way of explanation.  Of course, fatherlessness is hardly an issue specific to black families. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America – one out of three – live in biological father-absent homes.  However, the figure rises to nearly two in three among African-American children in particular, and, according to the National Fatherhood Initiative, young people without dads around are more likely to drop out of school, use drugs, engage in criminal behavior, and become young parents themselves.

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A Father’s Love: Celebrity Daddies and Their Kids

March 23rd, 2011 - By Veronica Wells
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There are a whole lotta things the menfolk do that make us swoon; but, pretty high up on the list is being an attentive, nurturing father. Hopefully you know some average, ordinary men who are taking care of their business when it comes to their children because we can’t be a hundred percent sure these famous fathers are excellent dads. But we can only hope. So for a minute we’ll pretend these dads are as attentive as they look. Check out how these celebrities take time out of their busy schedules to show some love to their little ones.

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