Father’s Day is approaching and I almost forgot about it. Before you judge me, know that my husband almost forgot as well. A few weeks ago, when discussing dates for a certain event, he innocently asked, “Oh, Father’s Day is that day?” Instead of using that question to fish for gifts like I probably would, he genuinely seemed surprised.
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Maybe it’s because he truly doesn’t care about that day or he doesn’t expect much out of it, but this Sunday will be the third Father’s Day for my husband, and his attitude has been the same about it every year — indifferent.
I remember being so excited to celebrate his first Father’s Day. I ordered a customized frame with our daughter’s name engraved at the top and included a picture of him holding her at just 10 days old. Oh and a card. Can’t forget the card.
He loved the gift and brunch that we had that day. I think the card could have been omitted as he read it and then put it back in the envelope to never be seen again (as he does with most cards), but I thought it was a nice touch. Overall, he seemed to enjoy his day, but there was no true excitement. This could be due to his love languages (none of which include gift giving or words of affirmation) or to the fact that he, like many people, doesn’t consider Father’s Day to be much to fuss over.
According to an article, “Why Mother’s Day Beats Father’s Day For Both Spending and Deals” from TheStreet.com, The National Retail Federation estimated that consumers would spend over $20 billion on Mother’s Day while only $14.3 billion was spent on Father’s Day last year. A survey found that 46 percent of people planned to buy a gift for mom for Mother’s Day as opposed to 30 percent for dad for Father’s Day.
Why is this?
The article goes on to say that some participants revealed that they feel guilty if they don’t buy a gift for Mother’s Day, but the same guilt isn’t necessarily felt for or from dad.
Is the way we treat these man-made holidays a reflection of how differently we treat our parents? Is it a personal decision or one put upon us by society? Is it that most people are truly closer to their mom, whether they were raised solely by her or due to a mother’s innate nurturing characteristics, so we place more value on Mother’s Day? Is it because of the number of people who didn’t have a good relationship with their fathers, or didn’t have one at all? It could be many things.
Now that I’m a mom, I better understand the work that it takes to be a great mom and how undervalued mothers can often feel. Maybe that’s why I told my husband we needed to get both of our moms a gorgeous bouquet of flowers this year, as opposed to the usual cards. But I realized that we aren’t in the habit of giving anything to our fathers for Father’s Day. I don’t really think they mind, but now that think about it, I do.
However, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day shouldn’t be the only days in the year that we show appreciation to people who have given us life or stepped into that role. Maybe this year we’ll at least acknowledge the special men in our lives by doing more than just giving them a little card and a phone call.
But we will save the ties for the future — no need for them to go to waste.
