All Articles Tagged "baby mamas"

Can We Be Done With The Single Women vs. “Baby Mamas” Debate?

October 27th, 2015 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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While I was under the hair dryer last night, I found myself scrolling through The Shade Room’s Instagram page. I came across their latest debate-worthy post that was a simple picture of a birthday cake. On the cake, the candles were neatly placed to display the number 35. Instead of the typical “Happy Birthday” message, “#NoBabyDaddy” was written in icing on the cake. It was written as if to say that being without a child and a “baby daddy” was on par with celebrating making it through another year of life.

Yasss for someones #BdayCake 😂😂

A photo posted by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on

While the birthday cake could have been a hilarious inside joke between friends, followers of The Shade Room felt the need to either justify the cake receiver’s celebration or call them out:

“My only issue with this is why is it such an accomplishment to not have kids??? I’m pretty sure there’s something else in his/her life that could be celebrated. Oh and wait, when did being a mother with a kid (s) mean that you’re lonely??? Just like having no kids doesn’t mean you’re lonely, same goes for a person with kids. Smh”

“She’s bothered. Why else would you have this sorry cake made and then post it. Her life must be empty.”

“Eggs gettin’ old though”

“The world is so twisted now. People are so used to seeing things done the wrong way that it has become the right way. I’m 29, 30 in March, no kids/baby daddy. My mama had me when she was 31 and my lil sister at 32 after she married my dad. It’s better to wait till you’re older anyway because chances are you’re more stable and mature. I know plenty of folks that have had kids in their 30’s and even one at 40. I know stuff happens and people get pregnant and end up with baby daddies but quit putting it out there like it’s the thing to do, confusing our young generation.”

The comments under the post turned into quite the debate as people went at it, shaming those who say they are waiting to have kids or don’t plan to, as well as criticizing those who already have children but are not with the father of those babies. All this left me wondering, do people think single women are better than women with children and vice versa?

I winced as I read the cake, remembering how, as naive college students, my friends and I would pity “baby mamas” as though they received a death sentence for becoming pregnant by men who were nowhere near well-to-do Black men who worked on Wall Street and could provide five-carat rings. We were pretty young-minded.

At this time in my life, I can understand not wanting a child and the man who comes with it right now. It takes maturity, stable finances, and patience, to say the least, to have a healthy relationship when a child is involved. Most importantly, if you want your child to be successful, you have to invest in their education and personal development, all of which takes time. At 26, I lack all of that. Therefore, I’m not ready for motherhood. But I applaud women who are good mothers and balance all of their responsibilities. Between my career, community service and personal life, I easily get exhausted and cranky, craving sleep as though I haven’t had a good night’s rest in ages. So, I don’t know how many women do it.

However, my current disposition never makes me feel like I’m doing better in life or made better decisions when compared to my cousins who’ve had children out of wedlock. To be honest, they’ve given me insight on how I want to raise my children in the future, and have taught me how to be patient with kids. Also, if we were to be real, many single women would have multiple “baby daddies” if contraception, Plan B, abortions and divine intervention were not at their disposal.

I believe the reason this tired debate continues is because “baby mamas” are viewed by some as the women who lacked the self-esteem or self-worth to wait or require marriage from their said “baby daddies,” and in the end, got duped. Single women, on the other hand, are criticized as people who couldn’t find men to be with them, let alone have a child with them.

And it’s all complete foolishness.

Whatever your circumstances, with child or childless, you’ll never be able to hide from life’s curveballs. So we need to do a better job of supporting one another and being less judgmental. Because what works for the goose, doesn’t necessarily jibe with the gander.

A Cut We Support: Slim Thug Opts For Vasectomy To Evade Anymore Child Support

July 23rd, 2013 - By La Truly
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Slim Thug

Is it OK to celebrate a man not having any more kids? When it comes to Slim Thug it just feels right, which is why we’re reporting that the 32-year-old decided to go under the knife to prevent making anymore babies and as a result, owing anymore child support.  He posted a post-op photograph with the captions:

“#NoNewKids #NoNewBabymamas #NoMoChildSupport #NoLittleGirl just me and my 3 Boyz

I’m laying in my bed, watchin’ TV with my feet kicked up and ice pack on my balls. That’s what it’s gonna be for the night…foot surgery in the morning.”

Uhh, ok. I guess nothing, absolutely NOTHING is private anymore. But I suppose this is a responsible course of action for the rapper, who one year ago, advocated for abortion as a form of birth control, stating that:

“I think abortion is necessary on some occasions. People be against it, but people don’t deal with the real life situations some people deal with. I don’t think it’s right, I don’t think it’s good to have a baby and not be with the father. That’s part of the biggest problem. My mother, she took care of me, but she was working 7 days-a-week, 12 hours-a-day. That was a struggle, I seen how much she struggled and it was so hard coming up. I don’t even know who my daddy is. I don’t like that. I think a kid deserves both  his parents. That’s why I think if you ain’t gonna be with somebody, you don’t need to have a kid with him.

Even though I got 3 baby mamas…. it’s working out. But it ain’t right. I ain’t saying wait 3 or 4 months. If it’s immediate, it’s like birth control to me.”

While that train of thought really ground my gears, his decision, now, a year later to get a vasectomy proves that some people do realize that it takes two to make a baby and that all of the pressure should not be on mothers alone to have abortions to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

Lyfe Jennings Lands ‘Ratchet-Free’ Reality Show With His Kids That He Swears Will Be Nothing Like ‘All My Baby Mamas’

June 19th, 2013 - By Brande Victorian
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We know, everybody’s getting a reality show these days. But still, it’s our job to report on it, which is why we’re telling you about the one Lyfe Jennings has planned, called “Our Life.” Knowing that the singer has multiple children and multiple women birthed those children, it was only natural that we got a bit worried that this reality show might be going in the direction of Shawty Lo’s failed, “All My Baby Mamas,” attempt, but Lyfe assured us that’s not the case at all and actually gave us an exclusive into what the show is about.

Check out his interview above, as he also gives us the details on his upcoming album. Will you watch “Our Life”?


Lyfe Jennings Talks Raising A Daughter And Tells Fathers To Man Up

June 12th, 2013 - By Brande Victorian
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With Father’s Day right around the corner, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to chat with some celebrity dads about what that day means to them and what it’s like raising little ones the other 364 days of the year. When Lyfe Jennings dropped by the office, we asked the father of three, whose been no stranger to drama with the mother of his children, what it’s like raising a young daughter and what advice he has for fathers who are struggling to accept their responsibility as a parent. Check out what he had to say.


What ‘Chu Say Boo: Caption This Picture Of “The Baby Mamas”

November 30th, 2012 - By Veronica Wells
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We talk all the time about parents of blended families learning to be civil toward one another. Well, if ever there were a shining example of how to do this, it’s Lil Wayne’s baby mamas, all four of them (Sarah Vivian, not pictured above.) Recently, these women gathered together for Reginae’s 14th birthday at an Atlanta skating rink. We don’t know quite what to say about this photo, so we’re leaving it up to you: caption the thoughts of these three women and even the fourth one if you so choose. We know you all are quite the comedians, so we look forward to reading what you have to say.

Messy: Terrell Owens Confronts Baby Mommas on Dr. Phil

May 8th, 2012 - By Veronica Wells
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I just can’t help but feel sorry for Terrell Owens. He just can’t seem to win. He seems to be the classic man who, at times, has been too cocky for his own good. And for better and mostly worse women are drawn to that cockiness. Which is why three of Terrell’s baby mamas gathered on Dr. Phil recently to discuss not only his relationship in their children’s lives but the child support he has or hasn’t paid. Looking at the videos, it seems that everybody’s priorities may be out of whack. Terrell is focused on what he can’t pay, the women are focused on what they need him to pay and Dr. Phil seems to be the only one bringing up the fact that his presence in the life of his children is more important than anything else. Plus, going on a talk show to publicly degrading the father of your children, regardless of the relationship, is more sketch than a little bit in my opinion.

Check out the videos below and let us know what you think.

You can watch the entire segment here. 

More on Madame Noire!

In Ratchet News: Anthony Cromartie’s 7 Baby Mamas Want A Reality Show

April 17th, 2012 - By Brande Victorian
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Eight women have actually given birth to 10 children by 28-year-old New York Jets player Anthony Cromartie, but since he married the last one, only seven are actually “baby mamas” and those are the ones who want to air their business for the sake of reality TV.

This ratchet love octagon has caught the attention of a TV production company that wants to create a reality show about these 19 individuals “trying to co-exist as a modern family,” the NY Post reports. The baby mamas, who are scattered across California, Texas, Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, and New Jersey, are all on board, saying they’ve created a bond with each other as mothers. But perhaps in the smartest move of his life, Anthony has said no. Anthony’s wife, who is the mother of two of his children, isn’t on it either.She took to Twitter to let her thoughts on the situation be known:

“We had no $ i loved my husband and I married him for that sol4 purpose ny post really tried 2 make a graph & its still wrong

The gold diggers are the ladies seeking financial gain from a show based off there kids i would never want any part of that

our family is not ur ideal family but we make it work.. If these women would b more concern about there kids & not them self

Nonetheless when ur cleaning hotel rms a reality show would b ideal but i’ll let them dream about it & watch me live it

Without the lies I’ll tell u anything u want to kno just ask me.. Ive always been an up front person.. Oh yea we are expecting twins in NOv”

The graph she’s referring to is this Brady Bunch-like chart the publication created detailing Anthony’s journey spreading his seed from coast to coast. Though a source has said the mothers of Anthony’s kids could use the money from the show (considering he had to get an advance on his NFL pay to keep up with child support) they also want to document their “journey.”

Ryan Ross, a hotel employee in Los Angeles, who dated Anthony for about six months and delivered his fifth child, loves the idea of the show.

“We’re not catty women. We have a close, tight-knit friendship and understand what each other’s going through. We reach out to share news about the kids, to talk, to vent.

“Our kids need to know who their siblings are. It’s bigger than our past with Antonio. It’s about our children.”

As long as Anthony says no to his children being filmed for reality TV the show will not go on, which is probably a good thing. I think reality TV has replaced sex tapes as the new “get rich quick” scheme.

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

Keep Your Legs Closed! Celebs Who’ve Racked Up Baby Mamas & Drama

January 12th, 2012 - By MN Editor
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These are the men who are truly loyal to their biological destinies. These are the men who think that what they should be doing is populating the earth with their seeds. Is it bad? No, not if they stay in the child’s life. But somehow we can’t help but judge the lack of self-control involved in farthering so many kids especially the ones who did so outside of any official relationships…

"Lil Wayne "

Lil Wayne

He’s the obvious one, ain’t he? Weezy has three baby mamas and counting. At only 29 years of age, he’s on track to reach ODB status by the time he’s 40. He’s currently dating a new woman, an Arizona waitress by the name of Dhea. If she’s as savvy as Lauren London, she’ll get knocked up soon.

Wifey Doesn’t Get the Ring

March 8th, 2011 - By Bené Viera
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Wifey sounds good in a rap song. It’s almost appealing as it gives the allusion of being wife-like. Though wifeys reap some of the benefits of an actual wife, no one really respects the wifey. Not even the men who deemed them as such. But some women continue to wear their wifey crown as if it’s a badge of honor.

On Sunday I tuned in to just what the world needs- another reality show about the women dating men in the entertainment industry. “Love and Hip-Hop” is comprised of Olivia, the former G-Unit singer; ex-wife of Swizz Beatz, Mashonda; Somaya the rapper; girlfriend of Jim Jones; and Fabolous’ girlfriend. In the first episode it was clear the two women in relationships with rappers were playing the wifey role. Emily, the live-in girlfriend and mother of Fabolous’ child, griped about the lifestyle he lives and her desire for more. Apparently he doesn’t claim her publicly and keeps her from walking the red carpet with him at various industry events. Although Jim Jones wasn’t as disrespectful as Fabolous to his wifey Chrissy- he at least acknowledges her in public- she was also at a crossroads hoping to get Jimmy to finally marry her. Her determination leads her to propose to him by the end of the season.

But that’s TV, the world of fame. We live in the land of everyday people who aren’t afforded the luxury of a Bentley in the driveway for playing house with no ring. Yet women do it every day.

Interestingly enough, most women toting their wifey status desperately long for the institution of marriage. Playing wifey would be understandable if one does not aspire to be a wife. But if the ultimate goal is for your significant other to put a ring on it, why do people insist on doing things a$$ backwards?

I’m not sold on the “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” theory. Some men will still marry a woman after she’s done all the things a wife would do for years. Others won’t. It really depends on the man and couple. And it’s not the cohabitation aspect of the wifey scenario I’m concerned with either. My only concern is women settling for less who want more.

Black women are constantly told our standards are too high. But the reality of black women’s situations across the board is proving to be the exact opposite of high standards. I’ve never known a group of women to give so much only to receive so little in return. Being wifey is great when all the gifts are rolling in. After a while you can no longer repress your desire for marriage.  Fulfilling your wifey role only becomes a nagging reminder that you want more from a man who doesn’t want to fully commit, but wants you to continue with wifely duties.

I want black women to raise the bar a bit. Expect more from men. If all women demanded more, men would have no other choice but to come correct. Until then there will be a bunch of unwed women running around referring to themselves as wifeys as if they’ve actually won a prize.

What is it with women being settling for less than what they want? Is this the future of relationships or just a phase? Speak on it.

Why 43 Percent of Americans Are Single

August 20th, 2010 - By China Okasi
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Dating experts rejoice! According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 96 million people in the United States who have no spouse. That means 43 percent of all Americans over the age of 18 are single.

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