All Articles Tagged "baby daddy drama"
Shawty Lo Ain’t Got Nothing On Me: Unemployed Man Brags About Loving All 18 Of His Children And The 17 Women Who Mother Them
It’s stories like this that really make me believe that humanity is doomed!
Meet 33-year-old Orlando Shaw of Tennessee. He fathers 22 children (whom he sometimes refers to as his “siblings”) by 14 different women. Although he confidently boasts about knowing all of his children’s names and loving all of their mothers, if you ask him on the wrong day, he may lose count and tell you that he has “roughly 18″ children by 17 women.
He’s currently unemployed and has been dragged to court by all 14 of those women over unpaid child support, but he insists that he’s a great father because anytime his
18 22 kids call, he comes running. While being a great father doesn’t necessarily mean you have a load of cash to spend on your children, it’s still pretty hard to believe that one man is able to effectively give all 22 of his children the time and attention that they need. Nashville’s CBS affiliate recently caught up to Shaw as he made his way out of a Tennessee courthouse and hot, ghetto and mess are the only words that come to mind to describe his his interview.
“These are my kids we talking about— my siblings—nobody else’s,” Shaw boasted outside of the Nashville courthouse.
“I love my kids and I could careless what anybody thinks,” he continued.
He also shared that he hopes to be “fixed” soon and that he’s mentoring children because he’s unemployed and doesn’t have a job.
“They know I can’t pay no child support. Why you think I’m out her mentoring and talking to these kids?”
“I don’t want no more kids. I wanna be fixed.
When asked if he could name all of his children, he bragged that almost all of his boys are named Orlando and that most of his daughters’ names are also derived from his, for example, Orlandria, Oneisha, Omika and so on. It doesn’t appear that he plans on seeking gainful employment so that he can support all of these children either. When asked if he hopes to get a job soon, he responded:
“Listen, don’t nothing come to a dreamer, but a dream. I go everywhere looking for a job. Where am I gon’ get one at with my linkling [sic] record?”
“I’m just hoping one day I get lucky and might scratch off the numbers or something. I play the hell out of Tennessee lottery,” he admitted with a straight face.
I could go on and on about the stupidity that continued to spew out of this man’s mouth, but I won’t spoil it for you.
Check page two to witness the insanity for yourself. Is anyone else feeling tempted to launch a kickstarter so that we can all chip in and get this dude snipped?
So you’ve been seeing this great guy for a few months and things seem to be getting serious. You start scribbling his last name with your first name (do people still do that?), envisioning your wedding day and picturing him cutting the umbilical cord. It’s only natural that if you want to get married one day you’ll eventually start sizing up your partner to see what kind of husband or father he’d make. While his little quirks might be cute when you’re dating, those same character traits might be red flags when determining if he’d make a good father to your child. For some, these may not be deal breakers and who knows if a man will change once faced with the responsibility of fatherhood. However, be careful not to overlook these characteristics if you’re thinking of making him your child’s father one day.
When it comes to single mothers dating, a couple of questions always come up if her child’s father is an active presence in her kid’s life: Should your child’s father meet your new man and how much weight should his opinion of the guy you’re dating hold as far as influencing whether you decide to move forward with him and, of course, when is the right time to introduce each other?
For starters, there is no “right time” to introduce your current boyfriend to your baby daddy, but some situations are unavoidable. The holidays are a good example; I’m sure many of you navigated the awkward conversations that ensued as children exchanged hands and homes in an attempt to honor the holiday spirit with some form of tensely negotiated civility. Still, holidays or regular days, introducing your current beau to your old beau is always complicated. It’s only further complicated when there is a child involved. But there are a few considerations you can follow to make this already awkward situation slightly less awkward.
Be Honest About the Status of Your Relationship with Your Baby Daddy
In theory, your baby daddy should have little to no influence over any of your future relationships, but in the real world, Isht happens. First and foremost, it’s important that you and your current boyfriend are on the same page. I’m not saying you have to unite as one force as if you’re calling on Captain Planet to defeat the toxicity of your prior relationship. I am saying that you and your new man need to have an honest discussion about what you both deem as important for the child, the influence you believe your child’s father should have on the current relationship (if any), and if it’s important to you that in the everlasting words of Rodney King, “we all get along.”
It’s equally important that you’re honest about the overall status of your relationship with your ex. This includes being honest with your current boyfriend and with yourself. If you’re still in love with your baby daddy, have feelings for your baby daddy, or you’re only bidding your time with your new man until your baby daddy decides that he wants to take you back, these are all things that should be communicated.
I’ve been in situations where I only realized afterwards that I was merely a pawn in a much more complicated ex-relationship chess match. Some women use the men they date subsequent to their baby daddy only to make him jealous, which is fine, as long as the new man is aware of his role. Some men are perfectly fine with being the side-man. Like side-women, most men are generally content with the status of the relationship as long as they know the role they are expected to play. What’s not fair is to pretend like you’re building a legitimate and “moving on” when you know damn well your heart (and other organs) still belong to your baby daddy. If the new relationship is nothing more than a complicated charades game to get your ex to start caring about you again, just be honest with yourself and your new man. It’ll save everyone a lot of headaches and heartaches.
On the other hand, let’s say you’re over your ex but your ex isn’t over you. This is also important information to share with any new man in your life. I know dealing with kids and emotions complicates things but somebody has to be the adult in the situation – and it likely won’t be the kids. If your baby daddy 1) hates you; or 2) equally as bad, is still in love with you, this is the type of info the new man in your life should know about. You don’t have to tell him on the first date, but he shouldn’t find out when your baby daddy is chasing you, him, or both down the street with a sawed off shotgun. For example, I once dated girl who “got along fine” with her baby daddy. You can imagine my surprise when I started receiving anonymous text messages ranging from pleas to leave her alone to threats to kill us both if we kept dating. We all know that some men, exes or otherwise, believe in the motto, “once mine, always mine.”
I know you can’t be expected to control another human being, especially if that human being happens to be your child’s father and is bat Isht crazy, but what you can do is let me know your ex-man is crazy and deranged so I at least know what I’m getting myself into sooner rather than later. I shouldn’t have to find out your baby daddy is crazy after he does something crazy if he has a history of doing crazy Isht. If we’re going to be in a relationship together this is the kind of information you should share early on.
Ladies, have you ever met a guy who you thought to be the man of your dreams until he dropped a load on you such as “I have five kids” or “My wife and I are separated, but we still live together”? Did you take the optimistic route and say to yourself, “Hey, no one is perfect,” or did you politely excuse yourself and save his number under “Don’t Answer”? Almost every woman has a list of deal breakers that she vows to never ever tolerate from a man. But, what if the guy is rich, I mean racks on racks on racks rich, or famous? Do those rules still apply? The following men seem to keep drama, a load of women, baby mothers and craziness in their lifestyle, but women still flock to be with them. Could you date them?
One can’t mention comedy without the great Eddie Murphy coming to mind. This funny man has been responsible for having us doubled over in stitches for ages. What has many giggling these days, however, is his up and down love life. His first marriage ended in divorce, but resulted in five children. In addition to the five children that he had with his wife, he also fathered two other children, not to mention a daughter with former Spice Girl, Mel B (a little girl he denied for a long while). While we’re on the subject, we can’t forget about his fake “symbolic” marriage to Tracy Edmonds that lasted all of 16 days. Murphy is now said to be dating “106 & Park” host Rosci. Ladies, could you date a guy with 8 kids, 4 baby mamas, and a turbulent dating history such as this one?
I’m a freshman in college and I’m finding I’m having some trouble in the love department. I’ve been single for almost a year now and my last relationship was quite well…horrible, to say the least. All the issues my ex and I had have been left in the past and we are on good terms (which was a big step for us). I want to start getting back out there and dating but I feel like guys only want one thing from me…the goods. I’m still a virgin and will be until I feel its the right time but that seems to be all the guys that talk I’ve talked to or approach me about. They say they just want to have fun right now but we can still do the do. NO Sir! I want something special and real but it seems unrealistic at this moment because college boys (or any other boys for that matter) are not trying to commit if you are not at least not putting out and I know I can’t be one of those girls. I know I’m pretty and that I have a lot to offer in a relationship and to a guy but I’m not the best looking girl around. I have realistic but high standards when it comes to guys, physically and personality/characteristic wise which makes me kind of picky so I turn a lot of guys down (or just because I don’t want another let down). Since I’ve been in college I’ve also had quite an attraction for white males but don’t know how to show them I’m a black girl that is interested in their race. I hate approaching males out of fear of rejection and because I want to be chased but I have before. I need some advise on how to find the “good guys” and maybe even branch out into new areas for love because my method doesn’t seem to be working. I recently meet a guy and he was almost everything I could have ask for but like all the guys I almost there is one little detail that sends me running. he had just got out of a relationship and was still in love with an ex who wanted nothign to do with him. I really liked this guy but for the sake of protecting myself from hurt, I stopped talking to him. I refuse to be in a relationship where I am not happy but at the same time I just want something real and to be in love. I guess I’m just looking for some advise from the male perspective.
Single and Looking
The store had to be shut down for cleaning for two hours after 33-year-old Theresa Monique Jefferson (pictured above) followed the unidentified victim who she had been feuding with for some time into the store and doused her with Pine Sol and bleach (thank goodness there was no ammonia handy…). Nineteen other people at the store were also sent to area hospitals after complaining of watery eyes and other injuries. Included in that total are one person was taken to the Wilmer Eye Institute at Johns Hopkins Hospital for treatment and three Walmart employees who were being treated for respiratory problems.
After the incident, Jefferson turned herself into authorities and has reportedly been charged with first-degree assault, second-degree assault, theft under $100, and malicious destruction of property. She is being held at the Baltimore County Detention Center on $350,000 bail.
According to NY Daily News, Walmart spokeswoman Dianna Gee told The Sun, “This is obviously not the type of behavior that we would expect from people at our stores and we want to apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused other customers.”
I can only imagine what type of foolishness led up to this incident. All I can say is, ladies, he’s just not worth it.
I also couldn’t help but think about the hilariously true “People of Walmart” YouTube video. Apparently Walmart shoppers really are a special breed.
From late 2008 through 2009, I went on a string of dating single moms.
The run wasn’t intentional…Shyte just kinda landed that way. But it was all very insightful for a poonhound in his late 20s with no kids and who knew with no qualifier that he was not ready to have any either. Hell, I’m 30, happily living in sin and still not ready to have any munchkins of my own.
I’ve always respected the plight of the single mom (if not always the reason she’s a single mom), and I do so now more than ever. I learned that no single mom I know is a fan of banging out mad hours at work only to come home to “Yo Gabba Gabba” episodes on repeat seven days a week; they’re all looking for a little bit of adult-rated excitement, if not the man that will complete her fractured family.
But, despite what society projects, it’s not all about the single mom and what SHE wants. We are the ones who have to date these women. Many young dudes stay away from single moms, but I was never afraid to settle down with one. Had I done so at 25, however, I might have gotten caught up in a manner that I wouldn’t allow today.
Here’s a list of non-negotiables that I’d need in place should I ever go down that road again: