7 Reasons Why You Might Be Alone

45 comments
November 18, 2011 ‐ By Kschlicher

"Woman alone"

Many outside influences put pressure on women to find a man and settle down. However, many women looking for a spouse find themselves alone and unhappy.  But why, you’re a great catch?  It may in fact be that the way we project ourselves on the outside, doesn’t match with our inward desire to be loved and accepted by a man.  As reported on Oprah, CNN, ABC News, and the Washington Post, 70% of Black women are single, and 42% are unmarried.  Of course some women desire to be single, and good for them, but for the rest of you, what could the problem be?  It’s most likely something you are completely unaware of.  Take a look at the top 7 reasons you might be alone and how you can adjust your life to make room for a great relationship.

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  • Guest

    How do you come up with the math “70% single and 42% unmarried”. That doesn’t even make any sense. If 70% are single, then that leaves 30% for everything else…..including marriage. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BZDNEISLLWZMHFFPLM4GUIUHKM bohemia

    The last one…definitely.

  • Stugots_1

    what in the hell are u people talking about .. its guys .. they don;t want to get married .. duh .. the courts kill us with every little thing financially ,, it was hard to get guys to commit in the first place .. now women have been made a huge liability .. and lets face the facts .. a lot of women are unstable at certain times of the month .. and now we have to live with that .. palease .. not happening 

  • Guest

    Interesting how articles addressed to women tell women to not place a heavy emphasis on looks and chemistry–yet articles written for men NEVER address this.

    Men know they are ugly, but their egos won’t allow them to accept this.

  • Isis

    The writer of this article should look into spell-check, grammar, and punctuation. Was this written via cellphone?

  • Getit!

    Cause you are. You may not be tomorrow or next week. No worries.

    • Dee

      Looking at this list, I think Im doing great.Im single because I have yet to find that person, that’s all.

      • Isis

        To all the women who are looking to have a boyfriend or get
        married, a piece of Biblical advice: ” Ruth patiently waited for her
        mate Boaz.” While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don’t settle for any of
        his relatives: Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az,
        Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az, and especially his
        third cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects
        Yoaz…

  • Vincy2

    Good article…especially point 7.   I know it’s hard for some people to believe but I’m happy being single….and single is not the same thing as being alone

  • Krush

    This article is pretty good, it makes valid points but the last thing that most women want to hear is that they are responsible for their own problems, it’s much easier to just point the finger and blame someone else.

  • http://twitter.com/1aintscared Mango Mozzarella

    I have been single for almost 3 years.. and besides the fact that most black men are full of it.. i hate when guys look at my “looks” only. they are so busy staring at me and my cakes that they are missing my inner beauty

    • Guest

      Then maybe you should put the cakes away hon….

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Geena-Romano/1848527336 Geena Romano

        exactly GUEST.

        put your cakes away girl.

        come on now..i mean serious….” isn’t showing the BODY play out?”

        Business suit.
        to slacks.
        heels on.
        to NIKE/Cute ballet flats,to bare feet, my point is this.
        Stop trying to show YOUR BODY that is sooooooooooo played out.

        and yes i am very attractive,saying this,not slobbingly or ugly my point is:

        when your exhibiting your cakes mozzarella, then why would  a guy bother wit’gettin2know anything else?

        WHY?

        i wouldn’t.

        hell no. so life is just too short to still be living that way,Clean up your life,put away your goodies,and trust me, get a college EDU, and or job/career focus, become remain MATURE,focus and jocund, jovial and i know men will see you for just YOU, and not worry to much bout always what is “hangin out of your skirt or top”

        keep it hidden,until he DESERVE and PROVE IT he or she is worth seeing your goodies! and good luck.

        from a REAL WOMAN here 
        GEENA ROMANO

        STATEN ISLD. NY

        on facebook

  • KLove

    I Have a better List:

    You Stay Home All The Time
    You only Mingle With the Same Sex
    You rely on your Gay Male Friends for Hookups (& Advice)
    You’re Arrogant
    You’re Never Satisfied!
    You take Advice from unstable people

    • Personne

      Hahah oh, I do do all of those things.

  • Pingback: Happy single? | happy life happy *me*

  • kayla

    as a married woman  35 never rush to  get married i took my time and  iam so thankful now i dont’ have to think what its like to single i do have friends who got married early happy it was’t me i got to exprience life  i did everything one night stand slept with a taken man keeping 100% the right man will be there and will love u for u iam so sick of people out there telling women u have to be this and that follow ur heart and be positive smile say somethign to a man don’t  believe the   myth about men they like this they like that its all bs been around men has shape me have three bros and came from family of mostly males

  • Just call me Shey

    It’s simple. Stop with negative thoughts, focus on happiness for yourself, I most definitely suggest finding God, don’t make a man your number one goal (during the single stage), and don’t RUSH anything. When you have yourself together internally, and trust in faith, everything else will nicely and comfortably fall into place.

    FOR ME, I felt God didn’t feel like I was ready for a mate until I got myself together.

    • kim

      very true… I saw the red flags.  I was disobedient to God! I agree  with you! I will not settle anymore.  I asked the Holyghost to please let me see me.  I know that I need to change things about myself before I can be ready for a honest-awesome,,,holyghost  filled, tongue talkin..word quotin….faithful beautiful man of God!  I feel as if I am not ready to recieve him.  Thank you for your post,,, my beautiful sister in Christ!

  • becky

    They are more woman then men in the world and less black women then any other. With that, men have more to shop with because they have more options. We women are not doing anything wrong-we are who we are. Just a whole hell of alot of us! Have more boys!!!

    • Guest

      Men really don’t have more options unless they don’t have standards and will take anything that comes along. Not everyone is going to be compatible. Women need to stop saying they don’t have options, because black women can date men of other races when they hear black men talking that non-sense about men having their pick. Not every woman is going to want these men who think they have their pick, believe me. There are very few people any of us will be compatible with for a long-term relationship.

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    all single women don’t have these kinds of problems. . .

    • Krush

      even if you did , you wouldn’t admit it…..

      • Ms_Sunshine9898

        i’m sure you would know. . . .

  • KMo.

    So many black women walk around with frowns and it makes a man think its geared towards him. Ironic moment, it’s either from an astonishing beautiful women or medusa herself. #TeamSMILE!

    • Kimberly

      I was told I am the ugliest person when I frown. 

    • Megakitty

      Men can misjudge a friendly smile as a come hither to talk to me. I know my reasons for the “dont mess with look” (I live in DC and the ONLY time people talk or smile at you is they want something. Cash or otherwise but usally cash for some charity or panhandling.) becasue I get tired or the BS “Hey Light Skinned” just disrespectful things not how yo’re supposed to treat a lady. All of that will cause anyone to put up walls; so gentleman please learn how to approach us with respect and we’ll smile when you do! And YES cheesy pick up line count as disrespect too!

  • Misstae

    omg…. reason number 2 hit it right on the mark. i can honestly say that i have a good personality and all but my physical appearance isnt all that.  i’m not being negative but guys just dont seem to notice me at all. and that has lowered my self-esteem because not ONE talks to me and it does make me feel like theres something wrong with me. i’m not the pretriest girl in the world but sheesh….

    • Darkesthourglass

      I know exactly how you feel. I feel as if guys look right through me or avoid me altogether. I’m not a supermodel but I’m not unattractive either. Pretty brown face, VERY thick hair. I use to attract at least some guys and sometimes still do but now decent quality guys I can see myself with. Maybe I should get my hair done more often and wear better/expensive shoes I guess. I rarely get approached just weird stares. They don’t speak, wave or nothing. Irritating.

      • Native Gear

        In order to be approached, you have to be approachable. Are you giving off a look that says you don’t want to be bothered? Also, remember people can read emotions such as confidence and self-esteem. Are you comfortable with yourself? Getting your hair done (it does help though) and wearing expensive shoes (might come off as materialistic) isn’t going to make a man automatically approach you. How about you try smiling? It works for me every time. Every person who passes you by, greet them with a smile. You might come off as ‘weird’ but since it is rare, it will make you stand out. Men do notice these things.  They love women with jovial spirits, no matter how they look.  It makes them feel comfortable, especially since many of them feel we women are all evil. You have to show them the opposite.

        Has it ever cross your mind that some might be intimated to approach you? Could be a possibility.

        • kim

          hmmm…that makes sense

        • Bodyfit84

           lol so true ! Evryone Male and Female says “i have a very very strong Personality that could be good or bad !

      • Graceyus

        look if u see a man u like why not  say hi this’s 2011 smile more ur personality matters more its not all about the looks  u got to be more approachable its all about the energy u give the days when  a woman being friendly thought of being loose is over my brother is gf approach him first she pick him up and now they married she’s alote more outgoing then him  

      • aDawn

        Are you by any chance in New England? Maybe Boston? That’s where I am and people ALWAYS do that. No eye contact at all. I’m a cute big girl who dresses well, looks approachable, The last time I went out, guys were TRULY looking right through me. It’s depressing. I’m from the South, and black people don’t do that down there. We always at least acknowledge each others presence. Whenever I go home — or even to NYC — I DO get the attention I deserve.

        I’ve just gotta get out of this town.

  • kisskissbye

    i am not against these articles… but hell yes i’m tired of why u are this n that… 
    i think that when u find the cause u need to bring the solution… (it’s about time 4 the solutions)

    good article tho

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6UPJ6Y23C66HFHW4JZEDUHGXR4 Catherine

    damn, after reading that i must admit i have some of those problems.  gotta start working on them asap. thank you for sharing

  • Samiya1984

    I understand what u saying…but y is it so hard when most of the time you dont know where to start….

  • REAL REAL TALK

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  • REAL REAL TALK

    LOOK YOU NO I WONT LIE THE REASON U ALONE CAUSE YOU AWFUL IN BED,AND A
    MAN WANTS TO FEEL LIKES HES IN A S?EX? VIDEO WHEN HES WITH HIS WOMEN SO JUST
    EXPECT HIM TO BE GONE WHEN YOU GET HOME FROM WORK,AND IF YOU WANT TO
    FIND HIM CALL YOUR BEST FRIEND HE WILL BE WITH HER DOING THE DOUGIE?????

    P.S TRUTH HURTS OW WELL HAVE A HORRIBLE WEEKEND?????

  • Tiki Barber

    Ladies its going to be alright !

  • Anonymous

    SMH….Please Stop with these articles, enough already.

    • Purplekisses

      If you don’t like it dont read it! Enough with that foolish comment! Be gone!!!

  • Carria899

    Number one really hit home for me.

  • Feliciafoster

    I can definitely relate to this article….thank you for writing this

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