Does Your Life Revolve Around Men?

29 comments
April 26, 2012 ‐ By Erica Renee

Wake up. Think about a man. Get dressed, while thinking about a man. Go to work. Complain to co-workers about not having a man. Go home and talk to friends about why none of you have a man. Go to bed. Dream about a man.

If this is the story of your life, this will probably remain the story of your life, unless you actually get a life. Men should be additives and not the reason you eat and breathe. Unfortunately, some women have become so obsessed with the idea of finding Mr. Right that they’ve allowed it to consume their lives, thus sitting around playing the waiting game while life passes them by.

Then there are other women who end up getting in a relationship, only to allow their man and relationship to define their existence. Sound a bit extreme? Surprisingly, it happens more than you realize.

So how do you know if you are one of these relationship-obsessed women whose world revolves around men? Consider these six, somewhat blatant signs.

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  • Complemented

    I have to agree with this article, as I’ve witnessed first-hand what happens when you decide to put your “ALL” into a man and neglect others around you. A man is supposed to complement you, not complete you. With that being said, I find it much easier to enjoy life (I.e- getting an education, taking exotic vacations, furthering a career), by taking care of oneself. It’s best to have a man in your corner who supports you in those endeavors too, but even if he leaves you, you can still stand on your own two feet.

  • Cantria2012

    I guess being a lesbian is in, lol.. From what I’m getting.

    • Ebony Imtep

      And we can see that ignorance and stupidity is in as it pertains to you. Eyes on your own Vagina Dear.

  • Ladybug94

    I sit around thinking about…not having to scroll through all those pages.

  • Aquariusn916

    This article must be referring to women who do these things in extremes and are indeed co-dependent because we all go through this at some phase of the relationship, usually the beginning.  I don’t know how I feel  about this article because while I agree to an extent, who the heck are you to judge another person on how they interact with their mate…kind of sounds like someone drank some hater-aid before writing this

  • YallChicsRCrazy!!


    What
    habit??! Girl, stop listening to Madam. Madam, who the hell is my life
    suppose to evolve around? A career?  Children who will grow up and start
    their own family? I am woMAN! The Most High put me here to be MAN’s
    helper! Get off that independent woman stuff, please! It is overated, a
    sin, and lonely!

    I live for my man, honey and good or bad have no regrets! I get my
    blessings through my man, read the good book more!!! What needs to stop
    is these women walking around thinking they don’t need a man!”Really?  Is this what black women have been reduced to?  I feel SO SORRY for you bible thumpin, lost sistas who believe that ‘help meet’ crap”.  Sellin your souls for phallus and a ring.I hope your MALE god, both the fairy tale one in the sky that your worship, as well as the one in your bed, that you worship, NEVER decides hes tired of you.  Cuz if he does, you chics will be in for a RUDE awakening.Signed…Not single.  Not a lesbian.  Not a Christian.  And NOT a Phallus Stroking, Handmaiden of Patriarchy.SMDH.

    • really?

      you are one angry black woman.

      • YallChicsRCrazy!!

         Id rathter be ‘angry’ then STUPID.  LOL.

        If black women dont think they have things to be ‘angry’ about, then we deserve what we get! 

        After all that black women go through, if alittle righteous anger is not in order, i dont know what is!

        And those little lables have no Power here, anyway.  “Angry,” “bitter’, “jaded’, “scorned’, “lonely’, “single’, “lesbian’, “manhater’, “feminist’…are all terms used to try to shut down the voice of any black women who isnt afraid to speak the Truth and who’s sole purpose in life, is not sucking the phallus of every male she meets. 

        Those words, have NO POWER either.  Silly women who still living in 1945, thinking males will save them from themselves, ALWAYS find out the truth…eventually.

        Aint nothing wrong with having/loving a man.  But making him the center of your universe?  LOL.  Yeah…thats REAAALLLY smart.  SMDH, once again.

    • Ebony Imhotep

      Not only do you sound angry, but you sound desperate, and inDICKtrinated. Females (not women) such as yourself help to rear angry, hurt, and bitter children because you’ll exalt any tool that shows you some affection while demoting your children to beings of lesser importance. Females such as yourself only have children to please your mate and for him you’ll turn on those babies just as quickly. You’re the kind of HANDMAIDEN who’ll trade in your children’s innocence for your mates paycheck. You’ll show sanctuary to predators just to contain the throb in your lady parts and keep the bills paid. Shame on you “lady.”

  • Likethis2012

    Yes I have a friend who has not been single since 11th grade, she will bounce from man to man in a heart beat, she’s never lived on her own. She moves one out and move the new one in, or move in with a new one, and then has the nerve to tell me I need a man.. I’m like wait I just got out of a relationship 3 months ago lol

    • Deborrah Cooper

       So many black women with low self esteem, whose minds have been soaked in the toxic Kool-Aid of Christianity. They don’t even realize the damage that listening to these fool preachers and reading that toxic book called the Bible has done to them. Women are treated in religions and in black churches like nothing but vessels for men’s sexual pleasure and to dominate. Sadly, black women fall right in line with the nonsense and run around spouting rhetoric they’ve been told without understanding the mental chains they’ve wrapped around their minds.

      Women need to live for themselves. It’s YOUR life. Men have their own life and you can be they sure aren’t living theirs worrying about some dumb broad! They go through women like we change underwear without a second thought. It’s women that are so goofy they put men on a pedestal when most of them aren’t worth two cents on credit anyway. It’s not MAN you worry about, its the RIGHT man and he has to treat you just as well if not better than you treat him. Anything less is unacceptable.

      • Ladybug94

        What does being a Christian have to do with this article and I don’t know too many people who will give up Jesus and salvation for a man (who doesn’t have a heaven or hell to put you in).  Being a Christian doesn’t keep anyone from getting a man nor does it have anything to do with women who daydream about getting a man.  Guess what?! if you are focusing your mind on Jesus everything else will fall into place.  Women need to have a life and things to do, that’s part of the problem.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Alice-Miller/1347487663 Mary Alice Miller

          Heaven and Hell are fairy tales. Ever been to either place? Ever met anyone who has been to either place? Has any Bible thumper throughout history ever been to either place? Try using your brain. It’s your friend. 

      • TheAudacityOfDope

        You know they’re going to come after you (and probably me for agreeing with you) for daring to speak out on the limitations that are often unwittingly put in place by religious dogma. It is also worth pointing out that most men head for the hills when they sense they’re in the presence of a “thirsty” man crazed woman.

  • L-Boogie

    I am glad this is not me.  However, I would really like to graduate from school so my life can begin without damn books. 

    • LAME

      PREACH! Lol

  • IllyPhilly

    Yup, I birthed them though. 

  • Chanda

    Ha ha. I can relate to 3 and 4 the most, use to do 7 but now not so much. Hope to break these habits though.

    • The Truth

      What habit??! Girl, stop listening to Madam. Madam, who the hell is my life suppose to evolve around? A career?  Children who will grow up and start their own family? I am woMAN! The Most High put me here to be MAN’s helper! Get off that independent woman stuff, please! It is overated, a sin, and lonely!

      I live for my man, honey and good or bad have no regrets! I get my blessings through my man, read the good book more!!! What needs to stop is these women walking around thinking they don’t need a man!

      • i agree

        girl…you better preach!!! my life revolves around my man,and I have no regrets..my life is better with him..of course you start to wonder why yu don’t have a man when you listen to advice like this.

      • Diamond

        I don’t think the article is meaning to just completely forget to consider being with a man, it’s just saying that a man shouldn’t complete your existence and to love life regardless. We all want a loving relationship, but it shouldn’t hold you back from living life. If a woman’s life revolves around her man, what is she going to do should her and her man split up? She’d probably end up in the looney bin because her life would literally be over because she needs him to feel complete. Women can have it ALL!  A career, a fulfilling life AND a good man! Not a good man and that’s IT. That’s the premise of the article. (not to mention men are turned on by women who have their own lives, not who are all up under them all the time). A woman shouldn’t “need” a man, she should “want” a man and that’s the kind of woman a good man wants.  

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/HB2EZDGOE26ZXUUUH666QOL2ZQ Lola

          Well put!

        • Chanda

          That’s what I was taking from the article. Of course we’re gonna think about men whether we have one or not but we should have other things going on in our lives as well. A woman shouldn’t be solely dependant on a man anyway, what if he just ups and leaves you all of a sudden and you have nothing to fall back on?

          • FromUR2UB

            What if he dies…

        • Caroneisha

          I totally argee with you!!

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/HB2EZDGOE26ZXUUUH666QOL2ZQ Lola

        “is my life suppose to evolve around? Children who will grow up and start their own family?”
        What are you saying? That your life revolves more around a man than your children because the latter will grow up and leave? Are you not aware that a man can also leave whenever he wants for whatever reason? I sincerely hope that you’re not putting men above children because you can always say my ex husband/wife but you can never say my ex-children. The rest of your beliefs are unbelievable but hey, to each their own.

        • DoinMe

          I think The Truth needs to do some self-evaluation to find out why she puts men on such a high pedestal. I smell issues and lots of them.

      • DoinMe

        “I live for my man” and “I get my blessings through my man?

        WTH? You can’t be serious, right? You aren’t truly “living” if you are living for your man, and no you don’t get your blessings through your man. And yes, I know what the bible says, but it sounds like you have twisted it up and completely misunderstand the context of it. To each it’s own, but I find your whole post a bit sad.

      • Ebony Imhotep

         Not only do you sound angry, but you sound desperate, and
        inDICKtrinated. Females (not women) such as yourself help to rear angry,
        hurt, and bitter children because you’ll exalt any tool that shows you
        some affection while demoting your children to beings of lesser
        importance. Females such as yourself only have children to please your
        mate and for him you’ll turn on those babies just as quickly. You’re the
        kind of HANDMAIDEN who’ll trade in your children’s innocence for your
        mates paycheck. You’ll show sanctuary to predators just to contain the
        throb in your lady parts and keep the bills paid. Shame on you “lady.”