He’s No Good For You: How To Stay Away

March 29, 2012  |  
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They say women are tricky, but men have their tricks too. Why else do women become hung up on men who are no good for us? Because those men know just how to keep us interested, in the face of the hard reality: they will never actually give us what we want. Check out these tips to help you forget about your bad boy.


Tell him to go away

You complain, “He keeps texting me.” You say, “I don’t understand him; he says he doesn’t want a relationship, but then he invites me over.” Oh poor you. He’s confusing you. What, oh what can you possibly do? Oh yeah. Tell him to stop contacting you. Sure, he’s reaching out, and that’s because he knows you want it. Lie, and tell him you don’t. Your heart will catch up with your head eventually.



Remember, you can forget anyone

It’s childish and something made of Disney fantasies to think that anyone is the one. There are thousands if not millions of people out there who could make you happy. If you just put him out of sight, by blocking his number, unfriending him on Facebook and cutting out any other form of communication, he will be out of mind soon. Within a few months, you’ll realize, “Wow. I have no feelings for that person anymore. I can’t believe I considered putting myself through the hell of being lead on by someone who I was able to forget within months…” Amazing what happens with just a little distance…



Don’t make excuses for him

He’s still hurt from his last breakup? He has intimacy issues because of his mom who abandoned him? He’s just so busy with work and that’s why he isn’t giving you half of what you deserve out of a relationship? SO WHAT? You’ve figured him out. Woopti-Do. Are you getting what you want because you’ve figured out why you’re not getting it?  Absolutely not. Stop making excuses for him. It doesn’t actually change anything.



Set up your guards

Can’t stop yourself from seeing him? Get someone else to do it. Tell all your friends in your next moment of strength, “Don’t let me call him. Don’t let me text him. Reprimand me if I see him.” This way you make yourself accountable and any time you pick up that phone, you’ll have more than just your conscience to answer to.


Do you want to hurt again?

Has this guy hurt you before? Usually that’s the case. He’s cheated on you. He’s yanked the carpet out from under you just when you thought you were getting close. Think about how much your dignity was hurt. How much you kicked yourself for letting him do exactly what you knew in your gut he would do. If it happens again, you will hurt TEN TIMES as much. Is it worth the risk?


It stays the way it starts

If you let a man be lazy in the beginning of a relationship, he will stay that way. If he wasn’t giving you what you wanted, and you stayed around, that tells him he’s allowed to act that way. If he has the control in the beginning, he always will.


Think about your friends

The ones who’ve been in your shoes and you’ve thought, What a fool! The ones who you’ve had to pry their phones out of their hands before they drunk texted the guy who’d stomped on their heart a dozen times. Think about them and know this: that’s you now. That doesn’t feel very good, does it?

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  • got me thinkin

    #6 applies to me..i took him back twice after we broke up the 1st time…no more..healing my heart and get me back to me but better!!!!

  • got me thinkin

    Wish I would have found this article last week…I am currently going thru this mess…He just literally yanked the rug out from under my feet…broke up with me for stupidness…nothing I caused…matter of fact I thought things were great.. So now he is blocked on fb, phone number erased from phone and his number is blocked from callin or texting me..thankfully..yeah i was in love with that fool but tryin to put him outsight out of mind….i took it back before but this time it feels different.. i know when he finds the flaws in this next  chick he’s with, i kno i will get another call or text… but this time the answer will be I forgave u but Im done with you…letting go…he said he could do betta so he needs to go find betta..im done…lol

  • goldengirlinhollywood

    @Eestoomuch  your comment made me laugh. “nomyorengaykyo”

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  • MixedUpInVegas

    To all the ladies here who have met these charming dirt bags and overcome them–congratulations!!  It would seem to me that having walked that road once, that would be enough (been there myself in my youth.)  You get smarter as time goes by and can see drama and heartbreak on the horizon and do a quick detour.

    Those of us who cannot resist the witty, wiley player should consider counseling.  What is it about a smiling liar that makes you throw common sense and bitter experience to the wind again and again?

  • Eestoomuch

    the last guy that i dated was very unusual. he was good looking in his younger years and i am sure was able to get women on looks alone…fast forward, the guy is unattached because he is BIPOLAR! no one wants to be on a rollercoaster day to day…at least not me! anyway…one thing he used to always say in the beginning of our first conversations was “before i met you…i didnt know you” that struck me as “ODD” but now i see, that is probably his mantra for when things go wrong in his relationships…something like nomyorengaykyo…for him! lol! his meditation! and ironically its what i tell myself when i start to think of him….ha!

    • goldengirlinhollywood

      SMH @ “before i met u, i didn’t even know u” hahaha

    • got me thinkin

      I went thru the same bi-polar rollercoaster and i tried to overlook it and help him…well on to the present screw that…only he can help him self…and im done with him…

  • Adnnabap82

    This is so true… So make me sad and angry at myself.

  • AnnaX

    #8 is how I wised up last time. I hate seeing females all strung out over a man… Then I realized that with the new relationship I was forming all the talking I was doing about these women included myself! I was horrified. Wondered why my friends didn’t say anything? It took me a whole month to completely remove myself from that situation but I did 🙂

  • FabienneDesrameaux

    #4 I do this ALL the time…didnt even realize it 🙁

  • RedButterfly81

    Back in 2002, at the age of 20 I was working at Dairy Queen and I was dating this guy for 4 months. He was 23, unemployed and living with his dad at the time. He even had the nerve to ask me $100 when I got my next paycheck and I didn’t give him ish!. Then my brother told me he saw him with another female on NYE and by NYD 2003 I was done with him! After that, he called me so many times, I had my number changed and moved on.

  • Mariah

    Where was this article like a year ago?  I’m still dealing with this mess I got involved in.  I wish that I could’ve read this back in August 2011 when this narcissistic predator began “pursuing” me as his next ‘victim’  I actually did do a couple of these but he was just relentless and me being a fool thought he actually gave a damn.  Silly me…=(

    • Adnnabap82

      That’s how they get you… they do one little to make you think they care then they back to doing them.

      • Benita Marie

        I feel you but in my situation he did more than one little thing.  He knew what he was doing.

  • Prettime00

    Thank you for this article… it really helped me alot.

  • L-Boogie

    Do not know?  Why do not you tell us?