When It’s Not Worth Fixing

March 1, 2012 ‐ By Julia Austin
"Couple in an argument"


Some couples you would be devastated to see separated. They are two peas in a pod. You know they care about one another. Others you question constantly, “Why are they still together?” as they constantly argue and rarely just have a moment of peace. What makes the difference? Some people know how to work things out, while others just don’t know when to walk away. Here’s how you can know when it’s time to walk away:

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  • Dro6375

    This and similar stories fail to mention how many “good” women cheat. There doesn’t need to be a reason either-And their friends are usually in on the creeping too

  • isitworthit?

    I am a leaver, (and I am a woman) I have a tendency to jet – 1- so I don’t say something I’ll regret, 2 – because I need to get air to clear my head. But the point about disagreeing on something major is so true and until that can get resolved it will always be an issue – especially if the other person doesn’t see it as an issue. I really have to thing about if this thing is worth fixing, b/c the frustration level is higher than anything else  – thank for this article, a lot of food for thought…

  • KevinFerere

    On #6. It depends on the topic at hand, however, a man shouldn’t have to feel everything you feel exactly the same way you feel it on every situation. Yes you’re in a relationship, but both of you are still you’re own persons. And to demand or expect an ellicited emotional response at the whim of every vissisitude, is irrational and insecure.

  • Ms. Tequilla

    Extremely, I mean EXTREMELY, insightful

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  • Ricr7465476

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  • Ted Rogers12

    Diz sound lik sum bullshxt

  • Christine Chigbu

    Every single one of these was the way my father treated my mother. Especially the last one. I’m so sad that she went through this for so many years.

  • KAYE

    thanks take time 4 U…well said

  • Rjones283

    Hold the phone, women do this exact same thing , exact same thing.. especially the denial and taking responsibility for their own action, which allot of you think you’re instilled be because you are a woman. 

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      allot should be a lot. Please point out to me exactly where the author said only men are guilty of this. I’ll wait. . . .

  • Onisiro B

    Wow…this topic is exactly what my husband and I are going through right now.

  • Kiing_oz

    Why is the article just based toward the Man being the one with the serious issues. Example 6 and 7. I’m in a relationship where the Female has these issues and more. I guess beacause its a female wriiting this There is gonna be more biased toward women then men. But, Are you talking to just women when you write this or couples in general. I have read many Articals by Noire and its seems like its the same deal every time. I think this will be my last.

    • ebonyhud

      I agree on your point but this website is geared towards women hints the content and over all pink layout, even though you’re right about THIS article they have plenty list showing the things we do wrong.

      • Natgrea69

         You mean it shows what Men are doing wrong

        • Natgrea69

           I’ve have Yet to meet a woman, black women especially to admit their faults…..not one

          • ebonyhud

             That’s to bad. I have always admitted when I have been wrong. I don’t think its about color. I think its about personality. I was just talking to a male friend and he was saying he was tired of black women. I was trying to tell him, maybe its the kind of women in general he’s drawn or attracted to.

          • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

            How many black women do you know? Maybe 50 (that’s pushing it) well enough to ascertain whether they ever admit fault. Hardly enough to make a snap judgement.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Hello this is a woman’s website. They are writing towards a female audience.


    This really hit home.I’m dealing with this now.

    • Dsfsfd3s

      Blackwhitehub.C0Mit’s a nice pl’ace for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bo’unds or extre’mes in front of true lo’ve

    • Take time 4 U

      I spent a year with an ex con who told me he had nothing to do with the crime that put  him in jail for 16 years. I loved and promised him I would always be there for him because he was very positive, had a great work ethic and showered me with love and attention. At the time he was a homeless unemployed ex con on parole with a high school education, no friends and the most ghetto family you can imagine.  I found out after we were married that that he was in  fact involved in the crime, he increasingly became violent, starting signing up for dating sites, didn’t want to put any effort into the relationship, was emotionally and verbally abusive. This is after I helped him get a place to live, a full time job, a passport, a professional licence, money for art supplies because he is an artist and 24/7 emotionally support that started at 430 in the morning with mediation sessions. Times when we were out of food and had no money I would stand with him in food lines so that we wouldn’t starve. I left  to get my life back on track and work on the  relationship form a distance. Now I’m back on track with my emotional and physical health, education and career. Get this, he left me and cut me off and he stole money from me in the process. Take my advice it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I graduated my masters with an 80 percent avg, I lost 60 lbs, I got a great paying career in my field that allows me to travel 25 % of the time,  I’m doing my PhD part time, I started a side business that has already made me a significant profit, I bought my own place and car, I have no debt, great credit a diversified investment portfolio and savings. i took me 2 years to get to this point. As for the dating scene I’m now dating an investment banker who treats me like gold. Pls leave him and focus your energy on your self your intuition is already telling you what to do.  Fear of really falling in love with myself and putting 150% into me stopped me from ending the relationship back then. The sad thing is I probably would have stayed if he didn’t leave me. I realize now how low my self esteem was and how I put so much effort into proving the world wrong that ex cons can be good faithful life partners. Not saying its impossible but I wont EVER be the martyr for that cause again, my life is just TOO precious. I think you should think about what has happened in the last 6 months that would give you any reason to stay and how much energy are putting into yourself on a daily basis. I realized he was putting as much energy into us as I was putting into self which was nothing at the time while he was taking all the energy i put into him and keeping it for himself. He left when he realized I started to care about me. Big life lesson one that i will never forget. Good luck  and much love. Life is ALWAYS better when you take even 1 year out of your life to be the best you can be I took 2 and I’m on top of the world. I hope this helps xoxoxoxoxo

      • shut the fu*k up

        Well put

      • Clifton6706

        Very encouraging.

      • Sugar_Spice


      • Christine Chigbu

         Beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing.

      • J T Harvey

        Interesting testimony! But where is God Almighty in all of this? He gives us breath and everything else that’s good!

    • Sugar_Spice

      Yup i’ve been down this road before