Source: Paras Griffin/Getty Images; Paras Griffin/Getty Images for ESSENCE / Getty
On Saturday, the latest season of Iyanla: Fix My Life premiered with reality star Shay Johnson and her family, including her mother and brothers Emjay and Joe. Though her mother and siblings definitely had a breakthrough after opening up about their issues, Shay, we’re not so sure of. She walked out soon after the “process” began.
It really all went off the rails for her from the beginning. It was clear that Shay’s guard was up and that she wasn’t interested in having anyone call out her behavior, though she was the one who reached out for her family to be on the show. It was especially clear she wasn’t ready for the process when Iyanla Vanzant brought her in to hear from her brothers, and they both pretty much told her she’s “rude and disrespectful.”
When Shay tried to respond, Iyanla told her that she would get the chance to talk, but not at that moment. The point was to get her to be able to listen and take in other people’s feelings so she didn’t always react immediately. She didn’t like that, and in turn, reacted immediately.
“I didn’t ask you to take me in there and get negative from my brothers and not be able to have a rebuttal,” she said. “I do trust you but that was BS.”
When Iyanla didn’t agree, Shay said she was ready to go: “Lady I’m out. You’re f–kin’ weird.”
It was literally day one, the beginning of the process and Shay was already over it.
“I told you I didn’t want it to be no intervention, pointing the finger at me making me look bad,” she told the spiritual coach. “F–k the process if it’s making me look like a godd–n fool!”
As she kept interrupting Iyanla, the host became annoyed and told Shay, “You already look like a fool.”
“Alright and you a fool too,” Shay replied. “F–k yo process. F–k yo process. How about that?”
Shay would eventually say she was leaving and go home. That decision, and her outbursts, were enough for Iyanla to make it clear she wouldn’t work with the reality star again.
“I don’t care if she brings Jesus with her, she can’t come back up in here,” she said.
By the end of the episode, her family members were able to work through problems with the matriarch of the family, and Joe was able to clear the air with his wife. Knowing the success they were having, they called Shay to invite her back. She was disappointed that when she walked away from the process, they didn’t do the same. But with the promise that they wouldn’t gang up on her, Shay agreed to return. Iyanla wouldn’t be communicating with her, though. When she came back into the process, she took responsibility for her behavior towards Iyanla, who removed herself from the room but was watching the interaction. However, she also said Iyanla talked to her in a disrespectful manner, too.
“We both said some things we should not have said,” she said. “She’s not here for me to talk to her and that’s completely fine. She needs her space and I do too. But there were things said on both ends. At the end of the day, I have to hold myself accountable for my actions. I should have just ignored what I felt was disrespect from her and just left.”
Shay would continue to find fault with Iyanla and her methods after the show aired. She shared her thoughts in an Instagram Live on Sunday.
“I do believe that she does have a certain type of talent where she can identify certain things in individuals. But I believe how she redirects her emotions and her anger, you can’t throw the same direct approach at everybody. And I’m not even a therapist and I know that,” she said, according to UrbanBelleMagazine. “As a therapist, you should be able to listen and understand people’s emotions and know how to approach them. To me, there shouldn’t have been a situation where, ‘Oh you’re not talking to me no more. Now I gotta prove a point. Now I got my ego in the way to where now you’re not coming back on here. You won’t be able to talk to me.’”
She stated that she believed that as a professional who may not receive a favorable response from everyone she works with, Iyanla, basically, shouldn’t have given up on her so easily.
“Instead of allowing your ego and pride to get in the way, why not have a conversation because you guys came to me and asked me to have a conversation with her. I said yes and she shut it down allowing her ego to get in the way,” she said. “So that’s why I’m like, if you’re a professional, this isn’t what you do. I didn’t attack you. I didn’t call you out your name. I didn’t do anything for you to have the reaction that you had because this is something you do professionally. So you deal with all different types of emotions. So based on that, your reaction to me was bulls–t.”
“But I will never go on national television and talk to a therapist again,” she continued. “What I did realize is it’s very important to see a therapist. If you have issues it really can help situations. But the right therapist can help your situation. You have to find the right therapist that you connect with and you just have a vibe. I don’t vibe with her. I don’t vibe with her attitude. I don’t vibe with her smart a– mouth. I don’t vibe with her disrespect. And I don’t vibe with the fact that she don’t own up to sh-t. ‘Cause you want to act like I was just there arguing with the air and talking to myself and the walls. No, I was actually talking to you. And you had a rebuttal for everything I said.”
“You had a rebuttal for everything I had to say so don’t try to play victim and put out the edit version as if you didn’t snap at me, cuss me out,” she added. “Oh no, I’m a bust your sh-t right on out sweetheart. And I don’t got nothing against her. I think she’s amazing but your approach, you got to switch it up for the people you deal with ’cause everybody can’t handle that bark, bark approach. Just switch it up a little bit and you’ll be fine.”
You can see the clash between Shay and Iyanla for yourself below:
But this isn’t the first time the Fix My Life star has bumped heads hard with the people she’s worked with. Hit the flip for a few other times things went left in Iyanla’s attempts to fix lives.
Iyanla and DMX
Talk about cringeworthy. DMX reunited with his son Xavier after more than a year of not seeing each other and being in touch. It was emotional from the moment the rapper walked in the door. There were too many barriers in the way, from DMX not being fully clean in terms of drug abuse to Iyanla also being somewhat of a barrier by interrupting their conversation. It was understandable when the talk didn’t seem to be going well that she would want to help facilitate something more positive, but for their first conversation in a long time, it may have been necessary for them to talk alone. Frustrated by that, the rapper lashed out, cursing at Iyanla and leaving the room.
