How To Spot A Ball Buster

December 20, 2011  |  
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When she is smiling, all dolled up and holding a drink, any woman looks friendly. But then, you walk up to her, you rehearse your practiced line and…uh oh…you’ve got a Ball Buster on your hands. And you’ll be lucky to walk away with those balls. Here’s how you can spot one—or how you know if you are one:

She pulls her friends away

All women are protective of their friends, but only a real Ball Buster walks right up to her girlfriend who is mid-conversation with a sleaze/chauvinist/or overall annoying man and says “okay, we’re leaving now” and whisks her away, leaving the man standing there.

She is the loudest

She is the one belting out a song, or drawing everyone’s attention to a toast she is making, or sitting on the counter of the bar, with her friends gathered around her, laughing her *ss off. She draws attention to herself. She shows that she is a ring-leader.

She’s tough to talk to

It takes not one, not two but countless little witty comments, while you’re standing right next to her, to get her to even turn her head and acknowledge you.

She’s challenging everyone to a game

Whether it’s darts, pool or shuffleboard that the bar’s got, she hasn’t left it. She is winning every game. Why? Because she likes to dominate men. She practices these games so she can monopolize that pool table/darts board and make every man walk away feeling less of a man.

On a date, she calls you out

“You’re late.” “You’re wearing that?” “Aren’t you going to open the door for me?” How she is treated is much more important than your ego. Always.

She suggests things you can’t afford, and she pays

She’s got money, and you don’t. She constantly wants to do things that you can’t afford and before you get the chance to mutter “I can’t really pay for…” she is punching in her credit card numbers to buy two tickets. She wants to do what she wants to do, she doesn’t realize this makes you feel like less than a man because she never lets you provide for her.

She asks you a dozen questions

You walk up to her, thinking you’ve got the conversation planned out, but you’re wrong. She is ready with an arsenal of questions. What do you do? Why do you like doing that? How did you get into that? Where did you move from? What was wrong with that place? She is sizing you up. But more importantly, she wants to watch you squirm while you are well aware that you are being sized up.

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  • Paul

    The men who complain the most about Ball Busting women are the ones with the least to lose. 

  • Amadeus

    It is beter to have thy balls busted than not to flirted at all. 


  • Amadeus

    It is beter to have thy balls busted than not to flirted at all. 


  • Ken

    Great article, I never broke it down like that. I just think a lot of people (both men and woman) don’t know how to be PLEASANT anymore. You can tell jokes, have a good time, tip a few drinks back, and/or tell an off-color joke and still be pleasant. Maybe it’s a particular image that people are so fixated on instead of just being themselves, but that’s exactly what we’re talking about here- people know they’re not cool enough, so they put on these airs to make themselves feel better.      


    Women who have high self-esteem act like these women mentioned here.  Women with high self-esteem are disliked & put down by men who are misogynists. (they secretly hate women & likely don’t know it).

    A powerful woman, many times has been an abused woman, but come out of that state with counselling & therapy.  Like in the Song ‘I Am Woman’.”I’ve been down there on the floor, and no ones ever going to put me down again”. “Yes I am wise, but its wisdom born of pain”, and on the song goes.

    Again, the only men who call these, ‘now-educated’ women B Buster, are men who are unable to use “power & control” on them.

    No woman in her right mind would want a guy, that has a problem with her self-confidence, anyway.

    • WBOTB


  • Lsrms3977

    Ball buster women need to get punched in the face!

  • Lady Belle

    It’s important to realize that he means if you take any of these characteristics to far… Just because you do some things some times doesn’t make you a ball buster. But for ladies (and I know the kind he or/she is talking about) if you make these your signature moves then you probably are a ball buster.. So check yourself.

  • MatureVegasWoman

    Dang, Big Mike, it never dawned on me that a woman would have written this.  It sounds more like a man who cannot keep up with the women he wants to attract.  In my single days, I occasionaly purchased tickets or took my date to some special thing–how about for his birthday or to introduce him to some entertainer I liked with whom he was unfamiliar?  Nothing wrong with that.  I remember my date-at-the-time (one of whom is now my husband) were flattered at the gesture.  What is ball busting about that? 

  • MzLadeeMam

    This whole article is bull… These things don’t make you a ball buster, just cautious…. Making a man walk away with his tail between his legs is ball busting…that is something that I am good at. This article should have been titled, how to loose a man in 10 days, lol

  • Hhalto

    I’ll be a ball buster.  Keeps the wrong men away from me.

  • MatureVegasWoman

    Am I the only one who finds this article to be somewhat whine-y?  This sounds like a writer who cannot hold his own or is pursuing a woman who may be out of his league.  If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch!

    • Big Mike

      I think Jaustin is a woman.

      But I can agree with this. We can’t in one moment tell women to choose better men, and then in another instance frown on her when he has her defenses up.

      Another thing is, it looks like someone is reading too much into stuff. If the woman likes playing pool (or games in particular), she wants you to feel less of a man? If she pays for something, she’s trying to hurt your ego?, Mad at her for asking questions? To make this type of assumption of women who do these things is ridiculous.

      • magikka99

        I agree with the both of you (maturevegaswoman & big mike). I am guilty of some of the things mentioned but these are very much exaggerated and presumtuous on intentions. There are women like that OF ALL RACES but usually if it’s an extreme it’s because the woman has had a colorful past with men cheating, lying, sports-fishing (Steve Harvey quote), etc. If a man has to feel like less of a man because of her doing what she needs to do then he should find a woman that he feels is an “easier catch” which is what he is looking for anyway.

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  • Think

    I gotta be honest with women you guys will stay single if you read too many of these articles. I’ve read far too many that say be “independent” and then next week it’s “Be Submissive and Feed His Ego”. Yes some of you are ball busters, but doing things like asking questions does not automatically equate to being one. Why not ask questions? You’re not supposed to ask what he does? You can’t pay for yourself or treat him too? A chick that’s a little bit competitive is a turn off? How sad is it that in this day in age you guys still have to be a little less to get more. There’s a reverse to this too cause there are guys that will do the same thing to prove that we’re in charge. Point is some peeple (mn and women)play too many head games and those are the ones that should be kept from dating.

  • LotusLeader

    Okay, so I’m a ball-buster.  What’s wrong with telling the truth and not acting or playing a game?  Do men really need weak acting, clueless acting, helpless acting nitwits to feel good about themselves?  

    The First Lady is no demure frilly sista,  OH NO!   Madame Obama is strong decisive, highly accomplished and beautiful inside and out.  Most of all, she tells it like it is.  

  • Getit!

    When men act like real men, women will behave as real women do, perfect example, our President and first lady.  For all her education and professional experience she’s a stay at home mom because she her children have a stand up dad. If men had been in their place women wouldn’t have to be men(and we all know she was never intended to fulfill that role).

    • Big Mike

      You are confusing the two subjects

  • James_smith0609

    She is basically the woman who will end up no man in her mid thirties complaining that men are ish, when it was her nappy-headed behind who ran em all off.  Ladies the ballbuster of the crew is actually the hater of the crew who is secretly jealous of you and your success.  remember that

    • KNB1

      Nappy-headed though…Alright Don Imus!

  • Truenlightment

    Women have natural defense mechanisms whether they realize it or not. It’s to
    weed out weak men from real men. Some women take it to far in which they are
    blocking thier blessing. A real man knows how
    to pass these test unless your are just being a b#$ch. So it’s cool to test it’s part of
    the game. Women get approach all the time with the same old bull. However,
    unless a woman taps into her intuitive nature she will pass up a good thing
    because of preconceive notions.

    • L-Boogie

      Truenlightment, that is the smartest thing I have heard.  Bless you.

    • June Bug

      Tests and games, is this high school? What happened to being upfront and honest? A real woman knows how to appreciate what she knows is real.

      • Sugar_Spice

        But sometimes being “real and honest” could be perceived as being a ball buster as well

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  • ???

    How To Spot A Ball Buster—She’s a Black AMERICAN woman

    • L-Boogie

      And you seem like a very stupid man.

    • L-Boogie

      If you are a man?!?!?!?!

    • James_smith0609

      You are definitely right about that.  Plenty of brothers who never even touched anything other than BLACK AMERICAN women are now leaving.  I actually overheard a group of men in the barbershop the other days talking about this.      I personally will marry a black woman…she just wont be a black american women;  maybe afro-latina, caribbean, nigerian, ethiopian, or brazilian, black british, or something… more black american women….as far we are concerned the white boys can have yall…..but guess what….the majority of white men will never take yall in public, bring you to his mommas house, or to a networking function…..   now stop being a ballbuster…beesh!!! how you luv that

      • getyourhandouttamypocket

        “How you luv that”???  Lol…..the others can have you.

  • guest

    Wow. This women seems insecure, or really bitter about her relationships with men. I’ve worked with a woman like this and had to clip her wings a few times. Its wasted energy. I’m not looking for a boss in my personal life. And yes this behavior is annoying in men as well. Besides the loudmouth bossy control freak always make easy targets. They always assume they can’t be got! Just Saying.

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  • Mia

    I don’t understand ball busting females, professionally I’m all for it, but in relationships- NO WAY! I do not want to wear the pants at all! Everyday I have to make decisions and when I’m home with a STRONG smart man who knows how to handle business, I love handing over those reins and let him take control. Anyway, once a woman does succeed in dominating a man, he becomes weak and useless to her. Who the hell needs that?

    Oh and I ain’t paying for ish unless we are in a deeply committed relationship. A strong man doesn’t like a woman paying for things in the beginning anyway.

  • Darlindee

    I’m guilty. Wow, I didn’t realize until now. I’m going to change my ways.

  • Teflon Mom

    This was funny.  I could fall into a few of these.  Sometimes it’s ill-guided youth that makes a woman act this way.  And sometimes…she just doesn’t think you’re worth a crap and will enjoy torturing you until you catch a hint and leave her alone.

  • TJ89

    Is there something wrong with ALL of this? Some of it, yes, but ALL of it? So she pulls her friend away from a clearly horrid manbeast (Though I’m grown, and typically make good choices, I wish my friends would do this SOMETIMES). So she doesn’t let you dominate and control a conversation. (if you planned the whole thing out you obviously thought SOMEONE had to dominate it). So she’s good at a game, likes playing, and won’t just LET you win. So what? Now, I can’t get with the loudness, or purposely bashing anyone’s ego, but some of this doesn’t necessarily say anything bad about the chick, she just may not be for you.

  • No_moedrama22

    I am guilty of all of these and I am a happily Married woman… I still ask people not just men everyone a bunch of darn questions,.,,

  • Shelourb

    Hahaha….I’m guilty of all. But not on purpose….I think it is my way of protection o_O

  • Sugar_Spice

    I guess I’m a ball buster of sorts then, all this time I thought I was just nosy

  • L-Boogie

    I am guilty of the last one.  Like something awful.