Unforgivable Hood Baby Names: Celebrity Edition

December 9, 2011  |  
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Regular folk aren’t the only ones who name their children reckless and ratchetly. Celebrities, black and white, have been known to find some off- base monikers for their little ones as well. Perhaps they know their children won’t have to scrape and scrap like the rest of us. Money opens doors you know. Check out these crazy celebrity names, below.

Pilot Inspektor (Son of Jason Lee)

Whaaat?!? Actor Jason Lee and his wife must have been sipping on something lethal when they named this wide-eyed, blonde haired little boy Pilot Inspektor. I can almost understand Pilot, it’s someone with know- how who takes charge, but Inspektor? Never would you insert a permanent spelling error into your child’s name. No bueno.

2. Jermajesty

Oh the Jackson family… Let’s just say it’s no surprise that they’re on this list. Their collective weirdness never surprises me. I know we all believe that our children are royalty from birth but so is everyone else. So there is no need to assert this fact in a name, and a name that just sounds so… hood at that.

3. Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon)

I don’t even know what to say about this one. I’m so done.

4. Camera (Daughter of Arthur Ashe)

I have much respect for the late Arthur Ashe, plenty. But I have to give him a side eye when it comes to the name for his daughter. Camera…hmm. Unless it’s pronounced differently than the everyday word, camera,  then I don’t understand this move.

5. Reignbeau (Ving Rhames)

Lawd have his mercy! I understand rainbows are signs of hope and inspiration. That would be a suitable name for a little girl…maybe. But trying to switch it up and use the verb spelling of the word and combine it with the French word “beau” is doing just waay too much. What does this name even mean? Did Ving want her daughter to be a girl who ruled over her boyfriends?

6- Christare

This name is probably one of the better ones on the list, but it’s the confusing factor that sets it over the top. Is it a Christian thing? Is it a combination name thing? What is really going on?

7- Yamma Brown  (Daughter James Brown)

May James Brown’s soul rest in peace but I have to ask what he was thinking when he named his daughter, Yamma? You have to be careful what you name your child. Because in biblical times a name was given based on the child’s character. Perhaps Yamma wasn’t the best choice considering she acted more trife than a little bit when she decided to stab her husband the day before her father’s funeral.

8. Reginae

I really think Reginae is a cute little girl, I do. But I just cannot stand her name! And the way it’s pronounced with a Louisiana accent just makes a bad situation, worse.

9. Zonnique

Anything that ends in an que is probably not a good look.

10. Cymphonique (Daughter of Master P.)

Ladies and gentlemen, it gets no hood-er than this. While I will say Master P and his wife produce some genetically blessed children, they name them terribly. Just because the name Romeo has become a part of our everyday lexicon, doesn’t mean that it’s a suitable name for a child. I was talking to my colleagues about the name of this little girl, Cymphonique, and we went back and forth about whether or not a child with this name, could be successful. Sure it’s highly recognizable and unique (see Beyoncé) but I’m sure mainstream America will struggle to pronounce it.

 

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