The nice thing is that your partner has planned a wedding before, so he has some ideas. The annoying thing is that your partner has planned a wedding before, so he’s recycling ideas. He may already know who the best florist, and caterer, and even wedding planner is because…he used them on his first wedding. But now you feel those are forever tainted. You don’t want to essentially have the same wedding he had the first time. So you’re stuck between wanting to rely on his expertise, since he’s done this before, and wanting to ignore everything he knows, because it’s tied to his first wedding.
An essay by Judith Newman from 2019 described a wife honoring her husband's wishes of being buried next to his first wife. We're wondering how you would respond if your partner broke this news to you on their deathbed.