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There is an adjustment period in every relationship. You are both learning what you can and cannot deal with, what you absolutely must have and what you can live without. There is nothing wrong with doing a little gentle nudging to get your guy to learn your needs. But, there are some men who just never learn, and so they never grow up. Here are some signs that might be your man:

Forgets to chime in:

Even if you’re at the most boring dinner in the world with your family, your man is not a 13-year-old boy anymore. It is not acceptable for him to sit back, looking like he is losing the will to live while waiting for dinner to be over. Every adult has a responsibility to take an interest in those around them at social events. It is just embarrassing for you if he makes no effort.

Not enough foreplay:

He isn’t masturbating in his bed to Adult Videos anymore. You’re a real human being with needs. If your guy always rushes to sex, rushes through sex, and then rushes to sleep after, that means he has not overcome those animal instincts that are so prevalent in a man’s life during his teens to just get it done.

Never plans:

You pretty much keep his calendar. You have to remind him of the wedding you two are attending, or the reservations you made for the two of you. He is grateful, and goes along with the plans, but he never takes the initiative. His mother obviously babied him a little too much…

Doesn’t step up or step in:

If someone is being rude to you, he just sits back and lets it happen. He doesn’t smirk about it or find it entertaining, but he is made too uncomfortable by confrontation. Your honor is less important than his comfort level.

Never worries:

You have a flu, or sprained an ankle, and he just says “that’s too bad…” He doesn’t call daily to check on you, or offer to bring something over, or even just to keep you company. He treats it like a non-issue. He is used to being taken care of, not being the caretaker. And it’s a role he will never switch into.

Doesn’t help out:

When you host a dinner party, he just sits at the table like the token boyfriend, thinking “isn’t it enough that I showed up and your friends can see you’re in a relationship?” Once again, it doesn’t occur to him to take care of things. He waits to be taken care of.


Doesn’t spend wisely:

Part of being a grown up means making sacrifices—like not going on that trip to Las Vegas because that will put you behind on rent, and even learning a thing or two about investments. If your guy doesn’t have a clear understanding of and plan for his finances at this point, he probably never will…

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