Why You Should Date A Man After He’s Spread His Wild Oats - Page 9

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Sometimes I worry that we are too hard on men who are out there, casually dating, raging until 3 am on weeknights, and taking impromptu trips to Vegas where they blow half of their rent money. I don’t think this type of behavior should go on forever—or even for very long—but I do think there is a time and place for it. In fact, some may even say that men who don’t have their wild days are more prone to cheat later. Men who don’t let their freak flags fly may be forever curious about what could have been. And you don’t want to be married to someone who believes the grass could be greener on the other side. You want to be with someone who has been to the other side, and realized there are a lot or STD scares and expensive bar bills on that grass. And that grass is yellowed from everyone who pees on it. Alright, you get the idea. Here is why you should only date a man after he’s spread his wild oats.

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He’ll appreciate a stable woman

If you are sane, stable, not at all jealous, and glad to just watch Netlfix on a Friday night, your partner won’t think you’re boring or not exciting enough. He will have already dealt with the crazy passionate but also insanely jealous women. He will have already tried to keep up with the hard partiers. He knows that that is exhausting. He’ll love how stable and calm you are.

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He’ll appreciate that you’re low maintenance

Men think they want the Instagram models who can’t do anything because of their constricting waist trainers, won’t pay for a date ever because they need to save their money for their extensions and take three hours to get ready every day. Until they actually date those women. Be glad your guy already went out and experienced that so he will be grateful for how low maintenance you are.

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He’ll be grateful for your help

If you date a man before he’s had to take care of himself, all alone, for a while, he may not appreciate you. So catch him after he’s eaten nothing but Top Ramen for four years, wears underwear with holes in it because he’s not good at doing laundry, and caught some weird infections because nobody reminded him about his checkups. He won’t see you as bossy for being on top of him about these tasks; he’ll see you as a saint.

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He’ll be settling down by choice

Your guy won’t be settling down because he feels roped into it. There won’t be a single shred of his being that is wondering if he should be out there, going wild. Once he has already spread his wild notes, he will come to the decision on his own that it would be nice to be in a committed relationship.

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He won’t be clingy

Be wary of any guy who has never been single for more than a month or two. That guy probably doesn’t know how to be alone. If a man remained a bachelor for years, that at least means he has his own identity and doesn’t feel he needs to be in a relationship. You’ll be a wonderful addition to his life, but not his whole life.

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He’ll have tried (and failed at) the kinky stuff

Let some other women deal with the guy’s request for bringing weird foods and extra people into the bedroom. Let him go find out, on his own, that a lot of the stuff he thinks he wants to do in the bedroom is uncomfortable, painful and not even satisfying. Let him get that out of his system before meeting you.

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And he’ll know a thing or two in bed

One good thing that will come from all the weird stuff your partner tried in bed before meeting you is that he’ll know a thing or two. Translation: he’ll know his way around the female body. Try not to get weird and jealous about that. Just enjoy.

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His friends will be grateful to you

His friends won’t see you as the person putting a leash on their friend or taking away their party pal. His friends will have tolerated some of the crazy messes he brought around. His friends will have put up with the hard partying women who vomited in their cars and burnt their couches. His friends will have been there with him through the paranoid stalker exes. His friends will love you.

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He’ll know he wants exactly you

Your partner will know what he wants and what he doesn’t want. He won’t be some other guy who is all about you one second, and ghosts you the next because he is bad at reading people and doesn’t know what he wants. The guy who has been out there can recognize what he wants pretty quickly.

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His selfish days will be over

Every guy goes through a phase where he’s all about his career and sees a relationship as a waste of time. Let your guy go through that before meeting him. Find a mature man who has come to learn that a good relationship is good for every part of your life, including your career.

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He’ll know his relationship weaknesses

Once a guy has had several failed relationships and had various women yell at him over the same behavior, he starts to recognize his patterns. It’s good to find a guy once he already knows his relationships weaknesses, and has discovered ways to strengthen them.

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He’ll have learned random sex is lonely

If you want to ensure you don’t end up with a guy who sits around wondering if a random sexual encounter would be fun, date someone who already had plenty. Then he’ll know how strange, lonely and sad those can leave a person feeling.

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He’ll have exhausted his jealousy

Younger men may struggle with pride and jealousy, and want to control their partners. Men who have already had their wild days know that jealousy causes nothing but exhausting drama, and got it out of their system.

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He’ll know the nymphomaniacs aren’t worth it

Every man thinks he wants a nymphomaniac—someone who just can’t get enough sex. Until he dates one. Then he realizes nymphomaniacs tend to cheat, and they tend to try to get you to do it in places where you get arrested.