Early Signs You’re His Rebound
Men who are on the rebound can appear to be the most emotionally healthy, grounded and well-adjusted ones out there. That’s because they’re on the “Fake it ‘til you make it” plan. They need to believe that they are okay, so they play the role of the totally happy guy very well. Can you blame them? We’ve all had to pretend we were over something just to force ourselves not to lie around the house wallowing. The only problem with this tactic is that it can be misleading to others. In fact, it’s the very reason a lot of women are shocked to discover that (damnit!) they were a guy’s rebound! He seemed so invested, so sane, and so…not heartbroken about an ex. Well, he was a good actor. But you need to protect yourself, too. Here are early, sneaky signs you’re his rebound.
He’s never shown interest before
If this guy is a coworker or an acquaintance you’ve known for a while, but he has never shown romantic interest in you before—even though you’ve flirted—and now he’s all about you, you could be a rebound. When someone is looking for a rebound, they usually look to the first person who A) Is nearby and B) Has already expressed interest.
He’s a serial monogamist
As far as you know, this guy hasn’t been single for like…a decade. That means that really, every woman he dates is a rebound. He’s been running from the pain of that initial breakup for years.
He won’t talk about her
If you bring up his past relationship, he changes the topic fast. Almost like it’s a bomb that’s about to detonate if you go near it. He may even become noticeably irritable if you bring up past relationships.
Or she was “Great, great, great!”
The guy may go the opposite direction, and when you bring up his ex, he may be as perky as could be about her. He could claim she was “Great, great, great! Just didn’t work out! Wish her all the best though! Seriously, couldn’t be happier for her. Breaking up was the BEST thing for EVERYONE!” Uh-huh. Somebody’s overcompensating.
His breakup was abrupt
You happen to know that his last relationship ended because the woman didn’t show up at their wedding, or cheated on him, or just ran off with somebody else one day. Or came out as gay, after they got engaged.
There are places he won’t go
When you mention going to this restaurant or that bar, the guy looks like he’s seen a ghost. He jumps and nearly yells, “NO! Not there!” That’s probably somewhere the ex hangs out, or somewhere he has memories with the ex.
Or, you keep “bumping into” the ex
On the flip side, you may have run into the ex a few times while out with this guy. Coincidence? Probably not. He’s likely trying to make her jealous. He knows where she hangs out—come on.
He likes to analyze relationships
The guy likes to talk about relationships—a lot. He speaks in hypotheticals, too. He’s full of questions like, “What do you think it means when a woman says she needs space? What drives a woman to need space?” Ugh. He’s using you as his retroactive couples counselor.
His friends seem concerned
If you bump into one of his buddies while on a date with this guy, they seem pretty shocked that he’s already out with somebody new. And he seems a bit embarrassed, too.
His expiration date is vague
When you ask the guy when his last relationship ended, he can’t seem to give you a straight answer. How hard is it to remember? Not at all—really. But he doesn’t want you to know it ended, like, yesterday.
He is paranoid and jealous, early
He seems to think he has a claim on you early, already wondering if you’re dating other men, and who you’re texting, and what you’re doing at all hours. He was likely cheated on in his last relationship and not over it.
He insists it was emotionally over long before
The guy really wants to make it clear that he had emotionally checked out of his relationship long before he officially checked out. This is what people have to say when they move on way too quickly.
He’s making a lot of life changes
He’s going through a personal renaissance, changing his style, taking classes, getting into hypnosis, reading self-help books, going on meditation retreats. That is the behavior of somebody who is still in pain.
He seems hyped up
He constantly seems like he drank three red bulls. People who are getting over pain can seem a bit hyped up. It’s part of their “Just keep going! Don’t look back!” technique. Everything is always super exciting and positive!
He’s all about posting the selfie
He wants to post selfies of the two of you on social media. Kissing. But you have only been on a few dates…?
He can be cynical about love
If someone even mentions another couple who broke up or who is fighting—it could even be a celebrity couple he doesn’t know—he goes on a long rant about how awful relationships can be and how terrible human beings can be. His eyes glaze over, like he’s reliving some trauma.
He’s comparing you
Any time he compliments you on one of your traits, he mentions how his girlfriend wasn’t like that. It seems impossible for him to say a nice thing about you without saying a mean thing about his ex.
He’ll go MIA, and then come back
Sometimes he won’t answer a text for days, but when he returns, he’ll be completely invested in you, and pretend that he never went away. He could just be hiding when his depression over his breakup takes over, and reemerging when he feels better.
He shushes his friends a lot
If you hang out with him and his buddies, he shushes them a lot. They’re probably going to say something that implies he just got out of a relationship, or reveals details about the breakup you’re not supposed to know.
He is very hot and cold
When someone is on the rebound, they experience a roller coaster of emotions. Some days, they’ll feel more ready to move on than ever! And they’ll be very present. On other days, they’ll seem a million miles away.