Do You Avoid Conflict Like The Plague? - Page 2

Do you think people who engage in conflict do so because they like it? Okay, well, we all know those combative individuals who do seek it out. But most people engage in conflict because they have to in order to keep their lives moving forward. Any sort of progression, change, and advancement in life stems from a little conflict. Think about it; you can’t get a raise or promotion without debating with your boss about why you deserve it. You can’t leave a bad relationship unless you’re willing to have that breakup conversation. You can’t rid your life of toxic people unless you’re able to have that tough talk where you tell them why they need to go. On the other side of conflict there is usually more peace and happiness than you had before so go through it. Here are signs you avoid conflict at all costs.

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You’re usually too busy

You remain remarkably busy. Why? Because nobody can argue with the fact that you have to work or that the laundry needs to be done. And if they can’t argue with that fact then they just can’t argue with you.

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You invite other people into the room

You like to keep lots of people around your home—friends, family, assistants—because you know your partner won’t feel comfortable bringing up arguments in front of them.

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You say, “Do we have to fight when we could be having a good time?”

This is very manipulative; it’s insinuating that by bringing up a tough subject, your partner is ruining a good time. In actuality, they’re trying to fix an issue so that overall you two can have a better time every day.

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You come home late when there’s a fight to be had

You get up early and come home late when you know a fight is a-brewing. Essentially, you’re hoping to avoid your partner until they forget about the argument.

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You have friends you don’t like

Why? Because you haven’t been able to tell them that you don’t like them. You haven’t been able to tell them they aren’t invited to the dinner party.

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Your family has no idea who you are

Telling them who you are would mean putting out your opinions, values, and emotions on the table. And those may be things they disagreed with. You didn’t want to defend who you are, so you never told them.

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You look at the bright side, even when there isn’t one

You can find the bright side of literally any situation because you’d rather do that then admit things aren’t going well and something must be said about it. For example, “I don’t love my partner—that’s true—but hey, at least I don’t hate them. That much.”

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You don’t spend time with your partner

Spending time with them usually results in conflict. So you fill up your social calendar with other people to avoid your partner.

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You do a lot of things you don’t want to do

You often find yourself doing favors for people that you really do not want to do, seeing the movie you don’t want to see, eating at the restaurant you don’t like, and generally being somewhere you don’t want to be because you didn’t just want to say, “I don’t like this.”

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You’re happiest on your own

That’s probably because your life is filled with the people you do not like but who you were too afraid to kick out.

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You like flatterers as friends

Friends who are suck-ups and flatterers never tell you how it is. So, in other words, you like friends who are just like you—the ones who will swallow their issues and never release them. You know you can count on them to avoid conflict just as much as you do.

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You cry if someone tries to discuss something with you

You use this age-old tactic; breaking into tears when someone tries to have a discussion about a problem with you. You know it gets them to drop it, every time.

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Your upbringing was full of conflict

If you grew up in a house full of combative people, where people were constantly yelling and slamming doors, there is a good chance you have over-corrected in your adult life by avoiding conflict entirely.

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You need people to like you

If you put people’s opinion of you above all else, then you almost certainly avoid conflict. Telling people what you really think and feel could cause you to lose favor with them, and you don’t want that.