Fights Couples Have When They Let Someone Move In With Them

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Whether it’s for financial reasons, a friend or family member needs a little help, or one of you is just a little lonely because you work from home, at some point, you and your partner may take in a roommate. It can be nice to have another person around your home. They’ll add a new dynamic, bring home their dating stories, introduce you to their friends and just bring a little life to the place. Plus, admit it, if you’ve been with your partner for a while, you’ve heard every story the other person has and watched every movie there is to see…twice. So having a roommate can mix things up, but it can do so in good and bad ways. You and your partner had your rhythm when it was just the two of you. Here are common fights couples have when they let someone else move in.

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How much to share with the roommate

Your partner may not like to discover that you’ve been talking to the roommate about your relationship issues. He might think that’s personal and it breaks apart the divided front the two of you should be putting up.

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When to invite the roommate to eat with them

It gets a bit awkward night after night when you and your boo sit down to eat, and your roommate is having popcorn for dinner again, alone in his bedroom. Your partner wants to invite him to eat with you guys, you also feel bad for him but if you invite him once, are you opening Pandora’s box? Now your partner thinks you’re insensitive. Wonderful. Dinner is ruined.

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Having sex when the roomie is home

You want to have sex, but your partner says it’s rude when the roomie is home. Um, hello, he knew he was moving in with a couple! Oh, now your partner is asking if you can just be quiet during sex. Yes, nothing sets the mood like volume control!

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Walking around in skimpy clothes when the roomie is home

You don’t see what the big issue is—it’s just a tank top and shorts! Your boyfriend, however, says it’s a see-through tank top and very short shorts, and you shouldn’t be giving the roommate any ideas. To which you say, “Oh. So if the roommate hits on me it’s my fault?”

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Trying to get alone time

It can be tough to get alone time when you have a roommate. You may want to watch a movie and snuggle on the couch, but your roommate wants to have friends over to drink in the living room. You tell your partner to ask the roommate to give you guys the space for the night, but your partner won’t because he doesn’t like confrontation. So then you ask him, “What’s more important? This relationship or having the roommate like you?!”

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Who has to bring issues up

The roommate lets his dishes sit in the sink for too long, and he plays his music pretty loud early in the morning. You think your partner should bring up one issue and you should bring up the other. Your partner thinks that if one of you is already going to be the bad cop, they may as well go the whole way and bring up all of the issues.

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What if the roommate starts dating?

What do you do if the roommate starts dating, and their new girlfriend is over all of the time? “It’s his space, he can have people over,” you say. “ Yeah, but we didn’t sign up for two new roommates,” your partner says. “He has to feel comfortable in his home!” you say. “She has her own place they can go to!” he says. Then you both argue over who should tell the roommate that.

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Can you set the roommate up?

If the roommate is single, what if you want to set him up? You have a co-worker who you think would be great for him. Just one problem; your partner doesn’t really like that coworker, and if things work out, he doesn’t want her over here all of the time! You think he’s selfish—true love could be a stake here.

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Grocery sharing; how does that work?

Your partner thinks that you, him, and the roommate should share the cost of groceries. You don’t think that’s fair since the roommate eats enough for three people. Your partner says you two are missing out on saving a lot of money on groceries, but you deeply disagree (since the roommate just ate two frozen pizzas in one sitting. That you paid for).

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When the roommate only likes one person

It happens a lot—one person in the couple totally hits it off with the roommate, and the other just doesn’t. The latter obviously becomes jealous as their partner starts hanging out with the roommate a lot, and not inviting him.

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What to do with the new extra money

You probably cut some costs by inviting in a roommate. Now…to spend that money on a new TV or a vacation? This alone will cause a month-long debate.

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Can friends stay on the couch?

The spare bedroom is occupied now, but you still want friends to be able to stay with you if they come to town. Your partner thinks that will be way too many people under the roof. You say, “I didn’t realize getting a roommate meant I could never have friends stay here again!”

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Can the roommate come to Thanksgiving?

It’s hard not to invite the roommate to family events, especially if his own family is far away and he can’t see them often. But your partner may not come from a family where it’s perfectly normal to bring stragglers to dinner, and you may embarrass him by doing so.

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“Do you wish you were still single like the roommate?”

If you do get along with the roommate better than your partner does, and you start going to bars with them, staying up late drinking with them etc., this may ignite suspicions in your partner that you wish you were still single…like the roommate.