10 Bogus Ways Women Are Accused Of Emasculating Men

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As women, we’re often unfairly accused of a lot of things because, you know, misogyny, patriarchy and the like. That is especially the case when it comes to our relationships with the opposite sex. But when Black women are accused of emasculating Black men in particular, there are so many additional elements that come into play. Like, oh, I don’t know, the long-lasting effects and consequences of horrendous acts committed against us, like the purposeful separation of men from their families – instituted during the trans-Atlantic slave trade and at numerous other points in history. When it comes to that subject, there’s definitely too much to tackle in this slideshow alone, but it goes to show you how our dynamics and interactions are shaped by so many factors and forces.

And on that note…here are several unfair ways that women are often accused of emasculating men.

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By Being a “Strong” Black Woman

While the strong Black woman trope can come with its own baggage, those three words don’t constitute an anti-Black man declaration. Nor does “strong Black woman” constitute some mythical figure or superhero that doesn’t need or respect others. As Jesse Williams famously said, “Just because we’re magic does not mean we’re not real.”

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By Making More Money

How a man suddenly becomes less of a man because his wife or girlfriend makes more money than him is a concept I still don’t understand. But I gather that gender norms have something to do with it.

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By Not Taking His Last Name

Tradition has it that when a man and a woman get married, the woman takes his last name. But traditions can be changed. Not every woman wants to change her name. Doing so is a personal choice, not a decision to emasculate a newly married man.

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By Comparing Him to Another Man

When it comes to relationships, sometimes a woman might bring up another man – to make a point about something she appreciates, respects, finds interesting about that person, etc. Making an occasional comparison, one that isn’t meant to paint anyone in a negative light, isn’t cause for termination of a relationship any more than it should be deemed as a purposeful attempt to emasculate a man.

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By Criticizing Him

Sometimes criticizing a man has similar effects to comparing him to other men. A fair, honest critique that is completely void of infantilizing is not an attack on masculinity.

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By Making an Executive Decision

If a woman makes an executive decision for her household, especially one deemed “a man’s job,” why should her decision be seen as an attempt to emasculate? That doesn’t mean you go around making every single decision that needs to be made, and doing so on your own.

By Encouraging Individuality

Jaden Smith has received all sorts of negative criticism thanks to his work with Louis Vuitton and penchant for wearing “drapey things” like skirts, dresses and garments typically worn by girls and women. Critics also tried to berate both of his parents, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, for allowing him to do so, suggesting that his masculinity was somehow at stake. Absolutely bogus.

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By Being a Boss

If you’re a woman with a strong personality or you’re in a position of power (or both), chances are you’ve been called a name or two. Perhaps you’ve been told that you’re “too much.” Maybe you’ve been referred to as a ball buster because you’re simply doing your job, and doing it well. All of this has been labeled as threatening to a fragile male ego.

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By Flirting

Flirting that leads to, well, nothing other than flirting, can be seen as inappropriate. It can even be seen as offensive, to some men. Why? Because in their eyes, they’ve been denied – an opportunity, access to your body, etc. And that can straight up be misconstrued as an act of emasculation.

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By Talking About Your Relationship With Other People

Of course you’re going to talk to other people about your relationship. But it’s when you let other women, friends, family members, etc., in on specific or intimate details that can cause some problems. This is especially true if you’re talking to them about those problems more than you are talking with your partner about them. This can definitely expose you to the “e” word.