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This list might receive some grief from those who wish to disintegrate gender roles and expectations, and while we certainly don’t want to perpetuate those, there is no denying that they are still an intricate part of our society’s fabric. Hopefully, some day, everyone will feel free to look and behave any way they want, regardless of gender, without receiving any societal pushback. But for now, most people on this planet have been alive during decades of rather restrictive gender expectations. It’s hard for people to forget centuries of societal norms, which is why some men have evolved to cringe at certain adjectives, mostly when applied to them. Right or wrong, progressive or not, these are 11 adjectives most men don’t want you to use to describe them.

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Soft
You may mean that he’s kind, approachable and makes you feel safe. He reads it as spineless, unintimidating, and unable to protect you.

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Frugal
You were just trying to say you respect how financially intelligent he is — he always knows how to get a better deal and save money. He thinks you just told him that the life he provides for you isn’t glamorous enough.

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Sensitive
He’s in touch with his emotions. He is emotionally intelligent and reads others well. But he feels like you just cut his balls off.

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Feminine
Before anybody gets up in arms about this, do you like it when somebody describes you as masculine? Not likely. If you think he understands women well, just say that.
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Adorable
You might get away with saying this to a man you’ve been with for a while, but if you say it to a first date, he feels immediately friend-zoned.

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Distinguished
You mean that he looks worldly, timeless, and intelligent. He thinks you just told him that he does not look like he could throw back a few beers with the best of them, that he has no idea what sports are and that he’s pretentious.

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Lanky
Women may love this adjective since it reminds us of slender. Men read this adjective as weak and sickly.

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Flamboyant
Your guy might be quirky and full of character; he may march to the beat of his own drum. But he feels like you just threw a sparkly scarf around him and asked him to direct a Broadway play.

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Childlike
You mean youthful, energetic, positive and joyful. He heard immature, unimpressive, and overall childish.

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A dreamer
You like how inspired he is, how willing he is to take risks in his career and be an innovator. But to him, a dreamer is someone who does a lot of talking but never does anything.

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Responsible
It’s a compliment! He pays bills on time and researches insurance plans. But he thinks you just called him boring and predictable.