Game Done Changed: The New, Dangerous Kind of Player

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There’s a new kind of player in town, and he’s dangerous. Maybe it’s a sign of the times—men are getting married later and later in life, so players can pop up at all sorts of ages that you wouldn’t expect. Maybe it’s just the same players who’ve learned new tricks. After all, with everything we do blasted to social media today, players need to learn to be stealth. Or, at least, they need to get better at putting on a façade. Players aren’t as easy to spot as they used to be. In fact, they’re getting better at escaping the reputation of being a player. Even if a man used to be incredibly suave to your face, you could usually count on the local female population to give you some indication to stay away from that man. Now, full-blown players are roaming the streets unnoticed. And some women who they have played would even describe them as “nice.” Here are symptoms of the new, dangerous kind of player.

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He’ll surprise you

He’ll show up at your work with cupcakes and a picnic blanket. And you’ll think, “Surprises are for boyfriends!” And the other women in the office will swoon. He knows it, too. He’s planting seeds. He’ll run into one of your coworkers who witnessed the act later—she’ll be so impressed by it—and he’ll start playing her. It was all a display.

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He’ll talk to you about his dreams

Usually, only men who want to get serious with you talk to you about their dreams, fears, and aspirations—right? Nope. The new kind of player is a narcissist. He believes his dreams are so interesting and so important that anybody should be honored to be a sounding board. But he’ll talk to another woman about them tomorrow.

He’ll tell you he needs you

He’ll call you on a night when he is depressed or feeling hopeless and tell you he needs you—that he just wants to talk. And you’ll go out and just talk. That’s some relationship-ass behavior. But, again, he’s a narcissist. When he needs companionship and somebody to stroke his ego, he doesn’t care who it comes from. You answered your phone.

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Sometimes, he’ll only want to cuddle

The new player has no shame; he wants to cuddle like everybody else, and he’ll confuse a poor woman into thinking he’s serious about her to get some cuddles.

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He’ll actually want to date

The new player won’t just text you, “You up?” at 2 am. Oh no. He’ll plan dates. Yeah—he’s bored and lonely like the rest of the world, and you’re a pawn in his scheme for a social life.

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He’ll plan thoughtful and unique dates

And his dates won’t just be happy hour. He’ll take you on unique dates—kayaking, paint ball, beer crafting. You’ll think it’s thoughtful. In fact, it’s just what he felt like doing, and he didn’t want to do it alone.

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He’ll ignore other women around you

The new kind of player is smart; he knows the way to get a woman to answer the phone every time he calls isn’t by making her feel insecure—it’s by making her feel like the only woman in the room.

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He’ll bring you around his friends

They know the deal. They’re probably the new kind of player, too. They won’t ignore you the way guys usually do when they know a woman is just passing through—they’ll treat you like his girlfriend. They’re there to help him keep playing.

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He’ll send you mid-week notes

He won’t just show up during the weekend. Nope. He’ll send you articles that he thinks you’ll enjoy and photos that will make you laugh. Remember, he has a huge ego; he likes knowing how to push people’s buttons. He likes the idea that you’re thinking about him.

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He’ll make love to you rather than f*ck you

He’ll go through a whole song and dance, making eye contact, being extremely generous with foreplay, etc. When he disappears, he wants to think you’ll never have it as good as you had it with him. It’s his sick pleasure.

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He’ll want to travel with you

Usually, when a man invites you on a trip, you feel like he sees a future with you. The new type of player, however, just sees a vacation that includes sex.

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He won’t leave if you freak out

The old player didn’t make time for drama. If a woman tried to fight, he’d bail—fighting was for relationships. The new player, however, has learned that if he can weather some storms, he can keep a hookup going longer. So don’t think just because he stays after you get mad, that he isn’t a player.

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He’ll never go ghost fully

At least the old player had the decency to disappear totally. The new player always keeps a few irons in the fire. The new player might disappear briefly, but he’ll always show back up just soon enough to keep your attention.

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He’ll post selfies with you

So long as he never changes his relationship status or labels you as his girlfriend in a picture, these selfies only make other women want him more.