If He Hasn’t Done These Things, Don’t Call Him Your Man
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If he hasn’t proved that he’s serious about you, should you get serious about him?
Once upon a time, making it official was as easy as circling “yes” or “no” on a “will you be my girlfriend” note in third period. But now that middle school is over, deciding whether or not to make a commitment is a little more complicated.
Just because a man asks you to take things to the next level doesn’t mean that he’s ready to (or worthy of you). So how can you tell if you should say “yes, please” or “maybe later?” If your relationship hasn’t passed these major milestones, it may be a sign that you should pass.
A man who hasn’t done these things to prove that he’s ready may not be, even if he thinks he is. So don’t go calling him your man just yet.
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Told His Parents About You
You don’t have to meet the parents before you make it official. But if he’s serious about you, and close to his parents, you should have come up in conversation before.
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Deleted Tinder
If he’s still browsing through the market, he’s not ready to settle down with only you.
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Planned Dates
A man who’s excited to schedule time with you and plan it out (even if it’s just ordering in with a movie you might like) is ready to take the next step.
If he’s not ready to commit to more than “hanging out” after a last-minute call, he’s not ready to commit to a relationship.
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Given You Prime Time
A man who can’t give you time on Friday and Saturday nights (or before 10 pm) may still have other priorities on his list.
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Introduced You To His Friends
You can tell that a man wants you to be a part of his life when he introduces you to the other people in it.
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Dropped the Other Shoe
That means that all of the things that you wondered about — like why he never invites you to his place, or his exact status with his ex — have been answered. If you’re still worried about surprises, it may not be time to get serious.
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Ignited Your Fire
Sparks are an important part of a relationship. If the sexual chemistry isn’t there in the beginning, it’s tough to get things cooking later.
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Brought Positivity to Your Life
Only a man who makes your life better deserves a permanent place in it. If there are more negatives than positives, don’t move forward. You might regret it later.
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Allowed You to See A Future
You know your 6-month, one- five- and ten-year plans and see exactly how he fits into them. If he can’t say the same, at least about 6 months down the line, well…
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Proven He’s Reliable
You can count on him to call regularly and show up on time when he makes plans. If he’s too busy to make seeing you a priority, he might be too busy to follow through on a commitment.
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Confirmed his interest
If the “read this text, do you think this means he likes me?” stage is still going on, you need to pump the breaks on visualizing a future.
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Talked About the Big Issues
Whether you believe in marriage, whether you want kids and what religion they’d be raised in. If you haven’t even broached these serious conversations he’s not trying to get serious.
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Had Your First Disagreement
Even if it’s as little as whether or not the restaurant was really that good, or whether Empire is as watchable as it used to be. A disagreement is a sign that neither of you are afraid to get real. And it’s important to know what a man is like when he argues and how he makes up before you make a commitment.
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Surprised You With Texts
When he reaches out before you have the chance to wonder if he’s going to call, it’s a sign that he’s seriously ready to make you a priority. But if you’re still counting the hours or days between his efforts to contact you, he doesn’t deserve to be the only male presence in your life.
