5 Things To Do Before Serving Divorce Papers

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Deciding that you want out of a marriage is the first step of many on the road to divorce. Divorce is a delicate dance, so before you pull the trigger and actually file, there are measures you should take to stack the odds in your favor and to help ensure the best possible outcome for you and your family.

Be certain

First and foremost, be certain that this is actually what you want. Divorce can be a long and grueling process. The last thing that you want to do is dive into the deep only to realize that you’ve made a mistake.

Hire a trusted attorney

If you’re certain that you desire to end things, the next step is to hire a trusted attorney. It might be tempting to jumping at the first lawyer you meet with because you just want to get the process rolling, but hiring the wrong representation will leave you with more than a few regrets. Do your research and ask the right questions.

“Divorce is difficult enough. Working with a lawyer you don’t trust will only make it worse.  You know, hindsight is always 20/20 and one of the worst things you can do is go through it with regret because you chose the wrong representation,” says attorney Michelle C. Thomas of M.C. Thomas and Associates. “Do your research, ask for referrals, visit the attorneys’ website and read testimonials before the consultation so you know the right questions to ask to determine if the attorney is a good fit for you.”

According to Thomas, one good sign that an attorney is a good fit is that they’ve answered all of your questions completely and thoughtfully.

“The attorney is a good fit if you leave feeling like all of your questions have been answered.  It’s important to be fully informed about the legal process so that you can make educated decisions during your case.   Nothing matters more than your family. No lawyer should make a prospective client feel uncomfortable asking questions,” she explains.

Also, you should make sure that the attorney is experienced in divorce and family court proceedings.

“Practically speaking, you should make sure that the attorney’s primary practice area is in the area that you need.  Consider asking, ‘How much of your practice is devoted to divorce, or child custody, or complex litigation?’ Because my firm focuses on divorce and family law everyday, we are more likely to be conversant in the nuances and frequent changes within the law.”

And finally, trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, continue to shop around.

Collect important paperwork

Preparation will take you a long way, so it’s recommended that you do the necessary footwork to gather required paperwork that will help your divorce proceeding move along a little more smoothly.

“At my divorce law firm, we send prospective clients a Divorce Checklist or Custody Checklist immediately following the scheduling of a consultation so that the client comes to the meeting prepared.  Financial records, tax returns, deeds and mortgage statements are a few examples of paperwork that should be gathered in advance of the first meeting.”

If you’re ending your marriage because of infidelity on your partner’s behalf, this may also mean gathering evidence.

“Now, this is a big one; infidelity can play out in so many different ways during divorce.  In fault based jurisdictions such as Virginia or Maryland, proving infidelity can affect whether a spouse is barred from receiving spousal support, and can affect the distribution of property.  The type of evidence needed to prove infidelity varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction,” explains Thomas.

“Sadly, society has progressed to a place where infidelity no longer shocks the conscience.  However, if significant marital assets have been wasted on an extramarital affair, then the wronged spouse may be entitled to get some of that money back.”

Establish living arrangements

Where will you live while going through the divorce? Will you and your soon-to-be-ex live under the same roof until things are final? Do you have a backup plan in place if he or she refuses to leave? While you may not be able to predict how your spouse will react after being served with divorce papers, you can help yourself by having an exit strategy in place should things get ugly.

Figure out your ideal custodial situation

There’s no guarantee that things will turn out exactly how you want them to; however, it helps to go into this knowing what you want in terms of custody.

“It’s almost always helpful if a temporary agreement can be reached regarding timesharing arrangements for the children prior to initiating the divorce process,” says Thomas.

You should also make provisions for where your children will be at the time your spouse is served.

“Of course, make sure the children will be safe when your spouse is served.  If it is likely that the spouse will become enraged upon being served, then make sure the children are not present at that time.”

Choosing to end a marriage is a huge and likely scary decision, but the right attorney should make the process as painless as possible.

“No matter what the issues, what’s most important is that you seek competent legal counsel as early in the process as possible to avoid regretting major decisions down the road,” says Thomas.

Michelle Thomas can be reached at www.ThomasLawDC.com, @MichelleCThomas, @DivorceLawFirm, and on Facebook.