Sleeping In Separate Bedrooms: Should You Or Shouldn’t You?
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In the 50s, it was perfectly normal for couples to sleep in separate beds. In fact, only the really taboo couples were shacking up on one big king sized mattress. But, as society loosened up, couples began sharing beds — now some pairs don’t even share the same bedroom.
Sleeping in the same bed as your partner is very intimate. You’re in a completely unconscious and vulnerable state when you’re asleep, so to do that next to another person for 8 hours a night is a testament to how comfortable you are with that person. (It even means you’re okay with possibly farting next to them.) But, there’s also a reason we were all relieved when college was over—no more sharing bedrooms! During your few precious years of having a bedroom all to yourself, only your alarm clock and your small bladder woke you up. Now that you live with a partner, it’s back to ear plugs and praying he turned his phone on silent. So, should you and your partner sleep in separate rooms? Here are the pros and cons.
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Pro: You’ll never wake up to no blanket again
No more waking up to find your boyfriend has turned himself into a human burrito, rolled up in all the blankets, leaving you shivering.
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Con: You don’t know when you’re fighting
If you always sleep in the same room, then on the rare occasion one person sleeps in the other room, you know it’s because you’re in a fight. If you sleep in separate rooms, you can’t count on one another’s choice of sleep location to know if you’re in a fight.
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Con: Spontaneous sex goes out the window
You can’t really count on morning snuggling turning into sex, or night time snuggling turning into sex for that matter! You have to agree to meet in somebody’s bedroom for intercourse. How romantic.
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Pro: His glaring laptop won’t keep you up
You no longer have to wear a sleep mask and put a pillow over your face to try to sleep while your partner watches Netflix on his bright laptop.
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Con: You’ll start watching separate shows
Since you already sleep in separate rooms, you don’t even bother to get into a show together. You retreat to your separate rooms early in the night to watch your own, respective shows. You’re even more separate.
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Pro: He won’t kick you in his sleep
No more being woken up to a foot in the shin! Or a hand on the face. Or someone who seems to think they own the entire bed.
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Con: He won’t spoon you in his sleep, either
You also won’t wake up to the realization that your partner is lovingly spooning you in his sleep. Awwww.
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Pro: He won’t wake you up when he goes to the bathroom
You won’t wake up every single time he gets up to pee. And he gets up to pee a lot.
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Con: You won’t feel as safe
You always felt so safe when you knew your partner was sleeping right next to you. If you sleep in a separate room, though, you may have to fend for yourself in the event of an intruder.
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Pro: You might sleep better because of the space
Overall, you may get a better night’s sleep because your partner’s movements don’t wake you, his snoring doesn’t wake you, and you can stretch out.
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Con: You might sleep worse worrying about the space
But honestly, you might not sleep well because you’re up all night with this guy feeling that all of this space isn’t good for your relationship.
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Pro: You won’t argue over a messy bed
Don’t feel like making the bed? Want to sleep in a nest of clothes? No problem! It’s your bed Your partner can’t be mad.
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Con: But there are twice as many sheets
So, so many sheets to do. And if you have guests come into town and must sleep in the same room, then you are forced to wash the sheets of the “guest room” every time.
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Pro: He won’t wake you with his sleep talking
You won’t wake up to him talking in his sleep—or worse screaming in his sleep.
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Con: He won’t comfort you during your nightmares
When you’re screaming in your sleep from a nightmare, your partner won’t be right there to comfort you.
