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I know what you’re thinking: It’s 2016. Who is still writing love letters out here?!

Not many people. That’s why when an individual does decide to pen a note sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings to and about someone, it means something. And that’s also why when an individual decides to hold on to those letters, it causes drama when they enter into a new relationship.

“Why does my boyfriend keep letters from his ex-girlfriends?”

That’s what a woman asked in a Truth About Deception post from a few years ago. In it, she that she found an envelope full of letters from two of his ex-girlfriends and after confronting him about it, he said he would throw them away. Well, he actually ended up keeping them.

This strikes me as weird because he has thrown away all of the letters and cards I have ever given him. He said he has no reason to keep them, and that he doesn’t keep letters and cards from people. So, why does he keep letters from his ex girlfriends? Not one but from 2 different girls. If he says that things like this don’t matter then how come the letters didn’t make it in the trash, if it really didn’t mean anything?

Ironically, we were having a conversation in the office yesterday about this very thing, and one of my colleagues felt like holding on to such keepsakes was harmless.

“I mean, we all have a past and people who were in it. If these people were important to you, why do you have to get rid of everything they’ve ever given you just because it’s over? You don’t stop caring for that person just because things didn’t work out.”

I could understand where she was coming from. As we’ve debated about on this site before, saved mementos from an ex can be perceived as either inoffensive or disrespectful by a new romantic partner.  I have photos with ex-boyfriends all up and through my Facebook page. I have zero romantic feelings for them at this point. Still, I find it a bit anal retentive to go through my account and click delete through all of those images just because I’m with someone new, who is my future husband.

But, if he were to have an issue with the pictures, I would delete them. He doesn’t, because he barely uses social media at all. However, I would if he did, because his feelings mean more to me than a few images from my collegiate days with some guys I don’t talk to anymore. So in the hopes of keeping everything copacetic, I would get rid of them.

Which is why I was confused by the decision the boyfriend in the aforementioned scenario made to lie and say that he was going to dispose of the letters, only to hold on to them and try and hide them. This is especially weird if holding on to letters is not something he’s known for doing (I mean, he threw away the letters she gave him!). They all mean something, in theory, but the fact that they mean enough to him that he would keep them despite knowing how it makes his girlfriend feel is very interesting. And a bit discourteous. I don’t think it means he’s cheating or that he doesn’t love or care for his girlfriend, but seriously, it’s weird. It’s especially weird if he’s holding on to the letters because he’s trying to hold onto the feelings he had with and for those women…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you think? Is it petty that she’s upset over old letters from his ex-girlfriends? Should people get rid of such mementos when they enter into a new relationship? 


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