I’m sure in this big world of ours, you encounter many men who try and talk to you. Why? Because you’re fabulous, girl, that’s why! And as nice as it can be to meet and engage in conversation with an interesting man, these days you have to go through your share of hot messes to meet said interesting fellow. I guess that’s what makes dating interesting? (NOT.) But if you encounter these kinds of guys in your everyday movements, no matter how long it has been since you’ve been wooed by a man (aka, you’re at a desperate point), do NOT, entertain them. Just run, preferably in the opposite direction.
The Smoocher
Ever been walking down the street minding your business, and heard the sounds of a man’s chapped lips coming together to get your attention? If you have, you probably know how annoying and degrading that sound of a man sucking in air is in your ear. I heard this stomach-turning sound a lot when I went to visit family in Nigeria, but I was surprised and grossed out to hear that mess when I was on my way to the subway yesterday. If a man can’t open his mouth and use syllables and words, he’s definitely not serious, nor worth stopping for. Keep those feet shuffling and play as crazy as possible.
The Guy Who Wants to Be Your “Friend” So Bad
It’s one thing to pursue a person not knowing up front what their relationship status is, but once you know, any person should be mature enough to know when to step off if that individual has got a significant other. Even if they’re lying about it to be left alone. There’s nothing worse than telling a guy you have a boyfriend, hoping his pursuit of you will stop, only to have him bog you down with lines about how you should take his number so you can call him about, and I quote: “Things you can’t talk to your man about.” What? That thirsty-ness to get in a woman’s life by any means necessary is not a good look. Tell him thanks, but no thanks.
The Scratcher
This is just common sense, but you should run in the opposite direction from ANYONE who scratches themselves too much, especially a guy. Scratching your head a lot or your arms is one thing, but we all know what area they’re looking to find relief in, and that’s not Hot to see. Not only is a man scratching himself down there in public unsanitary, it implies many things: he’s dirty, he’s got an STD, or he just really has no home training. Just as a man wouldn’t want to see a woman relieve her lower regions in public and then try to be all up on him, we’re not trying to have the same happen to us.
The Non-Helpful Mug
A non-chivalrous guy is not attractive. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. But a guy that wouldn’t even hold the door open for you doesn’t get the right to wait for you to struggle through the same door and then try to “holla” at you. If a guy can’t show common courtesy, or as I’ve heard, he doesn’t feel you “deserved” to have the door opened or held for you, he doesn’t deserve the time of day either.
Photo courtesy of amish_shah
The Late Night Body Snatcher
You know the one. You’ll be walking down the street on your way back to your apartment, only to have a guy come out of the wall (not literally) on some The Wiz type stuff trying to talk to you. Nevermind the fact that he really can’t see you what you look like. So if he’s asking for your number after two seconds of talking to you–which, may I add, consisted of “How you doing?” and “I want to get to know you better”–chances are, if you were to give it, you’d only hear from him real late at night (booty call characteristics) and you will probably hear from him within minutes of your first meeting. Run.
The Guy With His Drawers Out For the World to See
I’m all about fashion being a means of self-expression. That’s cool. But why can’t you wear what you feel and be covered at the same time? There’s just something not hot about a guy trying to talk to you while his entire boxers are sticking outside of his pants. Or better yet, they were never in his pants to begin with. It’s one thing to be baggy, but it’s another to have to do a waddle walk because your pants are belted around your hamstrings. You’re cute, but…I can’t go for that.
The Gawker
Isn’t it the most uncomfortable thing when someone stares at you? It’s one thing to look, admire, and then go about your business, but it’s another to stare so hard (even when I look you dead in your face) that I feel like you’re trying to suck out my soul. We all glance occasionally at people we find attractive, but there’s a mad creep factor to looking hard and looking for a long time, especially when you don’t plan on speaking. So if you peep out a guy doing this, give him the death face and I bet he’ll stop.
Photo courtesy of John Lund
The Guy Who Pressures You Into Taking His Number
Not proud to say that I’ve been in this situation before. You know, where a dude you’re not interested in won’t seem to get out of your face because he’s hoping you can exchange numbers. Know that you should never ever take a guy’s number you’re not feeling at all because he’s practically setting you up. You might think you have the power by taking his digits, and that you can decide if you ever want to call and when you will. But if you take his number in your phone, he’s expecting you to now call HIS phone so that he can have your digits, and also so he knows the phone number he has for you is real. Don’t be a fool like I was, because once they have your number, they’re going to call and call…and call. One fellow I met last summer in Charlotte, N.C. STILL calls my phone to this day and we had no kind of connection. Don’t feel forced into anything, just keep your phone to yourself.
