The Pros And Cons Of Living In The Same City As Your Parents
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I grew up in a town that people across the country aspire to move to. It’s the perfect combination of silent suburbia and a buzzing city life. I also made the mistake of taking my boyfriend back there one too many times, and now he’s hinting that he’d like us to move up there one day. But along with the gorgeous coastal landscape, the adorable wineries, the fabulous film festival and the dozens of good school districts, the town also comes with—you guessed it—my parents! Don’t give me that look. As much as you love your parents, do you really want to live up the street from them as an adult? The answer should be yes, and no. Here are the pros and cons of moving with your partner to the same city as your parents.
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Pro: You can drop by and visit
If you’re feeling lonesome or down, you can always drop by their place. They’re never too far to comfort you, or keep you company.
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Con: You’ll be expected for every little occasion
You’ll be expected at their home for dinner every anniversary of your dad’s favorite parrot spoke his first word or whatever they celebrate. You’ll swear your calendar is filled up with obscure anniversaries.
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Pro: You don’t need to travel far for big occasions
When the larger holidays come along, you’ll save a lot of money on travel. You won’t need to book a flight or a hotel to see your parents. You can just drive (or walk) up the street. You don’t need to take time off work to see them for the holidays, either.
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Con: Your parents will butt into your careers
Speaking of work, your parents will have their eyes on it. They’ll drop into your office; they’ll catch gossip about how your career is going, and they’ll try to advise you on your work.
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Pro: Your parents can help with your careers
Because your parents have been in their town longer than you have, they also have connections. They can make introductions for you, give you solid references, and, in general, help you network.
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Con: You’ll be dragged into little errands
You’ll find yourself picking up groceries and dropping off dry cleaning and walking the dog for your parents.
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Pro: They can help you with your errands
They are likely retired and have plenty of time to help you when you need help with errands.
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Con: They’ll have eyes and ears on you
They’ll know your friends and neighbors. They will know what kind of friends and neighbors you are being. They’ll comment if the Samson’s across the street complain that you keep your yard messy.
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Pro: You have an instant community
Because you are your parents’ child and the community, have known your parents for a while, that community is now your community. Your neighbors might comment on your messy yard, but they’ll also be there for you when you need them because they owe your parents favors from over the years.
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Con: They’ll butt into your child rearing
If and when you have kids, your parents will want to come over to see their grandchildren every day.They will comment on what you feed your kids, how you speak to your kids, what sorts of after school activities you put your kids in and the list goes on.
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Con: They’ll stay with you during renovations
If their electricity goes out or their kitchen is undergoing renovations, they’ll stay with you.
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Pro: You can stay with them during renovations
If your electricity goes out or your kitchen is undergoing renovations, you can stay with them. Hey, even if you have the flu and your partner is out of town on business, you can stay with your parents.
