In the past, we’ve talked about how much it can suck when a man you’re seeing and seriously in like with only introduces you to people in his circle as “my friend.” But what if a guy you’ve seen for quite some time doesn’t introduce you at all?
Before I met my fiancé, I dated a guy for about two years. I had met most of his friends and his family members who lived in the city, and they all knew I was his girlfriend. He would even go as far as to make me his profile picture on social media and WhatsApp from time to time. He didn’t keep our relationship a secret and neither did I.
But one day, we were hanging out after seeing a movie. As we were heading back to his car to get dinner, we ran into an ex-girlfriend of one of his best friends. As my ex would tell me later, his friend, Ayo, and the woman had been together for almost four years and lived together at one point. So she was someone he often came in contact with back in the day.
She just so happened to be walking with a guy, but it was unclear what their connection was. Still, when my boyfriend saw her, he stopped and said, “Hey! Is that you?” She was surprised to see him and gleefully said hello, stating that she was doing well after he asked how she was faring. The man escorting her around ended up putting his hand out, introducing himself to my boyfriend. And as the woman turned her head and looked in my direction, as I was standing behind my then-boyfriend, she smiled to prepare for an introduction. But it never came.
Instead, my ex smiled at her and said, “Well, it was great to see you! I’m glad you’re doing well out here.” She said something similar and turned with her friend to continue walking down the street. As my boyfriend turned in my direction, I assumed he was going to realize that he’d totally left me hanging. But when he looked me in my face, he smiled and said, “Yo, that’s Ayo’s ex! Didn’t I tell you about her? He won’t believe it when I tell him I ran into her.”
Seeing that he didn’t even realize the error in his ways, I said, “WOW. You didn’t even bother to introduce me. That’s crazy.” He apologized, saying that a proper introduction must have slipped his mind, and just like that, he was on to the next conversation.
But I wasn’t ready to talk and ki-ki it up. I was heated. I was not only embarrassed because my happy a– was standing there cheesing, waiting for a cue during my ex’s brief chat with the young woman, but I was also confused. Am I that damn forgettable?
As we drove, I stayed pretty quiet, trying to wrap my head around my feelings. And when he asked me if I was still mad and I told him I was indeed feeling some type of way, he got irritated. In his mind, he felt like I was trying to say that he purposely hid me. “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”
He couldn’t go back and change anything, so I should have probably let it go. And I did about 30 minutes later when our food came. But I wasn’t salty about not meeting somebody’s throwback boo. Rather, I was upset that I didn’t cross his mind at that moment. He didn’t think of me. He literally forgot I was there.
As corny as that sounds, I think that’s at the core of relationships and plays into the ways you show that you care for someone. When you genuinely love someone, you think of them a lot. And I mean that in simple terms. When you pick up food before meeting up with your spouse, you think of them and either call to see if they want anything or buy their favorite dish from your chosen place. When you cook a meal in the kitchen you both share, you ask your spouse if they want some of what you’re preparing. And when you go out and meet people or run into old friends, you remember to turn and say, “This is my __.”
And I get it. It’s a petty problem. I know some people genuinely have things slip their mind and have to be reminded to introduce newer faces to old friends from their life. But that doesn’t mean it hurt one’s feelings any less…
But as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you think? Was I petty? Has anything like this happened to you?