Are You Accidentally Hurting Him During Sex?

September 10, 2015  |  
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“Ouch! That hurts!” isn’t exactly a mood-setter. In fact, it’s a mood-killer. So if you are hurting your man’s member during sex, there’s a good chance he isn’t telling you and he’s silently trying to get it to stop. We’ll tell you instead.

Helping yourself

If you rely a lot on direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm, then you probably help yourself down there a lot during intercourse. But depending on the position, you might be scratching your partner’s member while you do that!

The fix

A) Definitely keep your nails short. This is important for several parts of sex. B) If you do want to touch yourself during sex, avoid positions where you’re on top because that almost always leads to your fingers pushing against his member. Doggy style or even missionary is best if you want to put your hands down there during sex.

Failing to lubricate

There is nothing more uncomfortable for a man’s penis than dry friction. It’s like getting rug burn…on his member. Even if you’ve mastered the movement and pressure, if you don’t have lubricant, he’s suffering.

The fix

It’s time to get over your awkwardness around bottles of lube. Sure, sometimes they make a farting sound when you squeeze them. And yes, you have to pause what you’re doing to grab some more. But I promise your guy does not care about all of that—he wants the lube. Err on the side of too much.

Bending forward too much

If you’re a big fan of reverse cowgirl, you might like to bend forward a lot to get a good angle. From there, your partner’s member hits your G-spot. But if you bend forward too much, you can put a lot of strain on his member and it can hurt.


The fix

Bend backwards! If your partner lifts up his hips slightly, you get all the good angles again. When you bend backwards, you’re bending in the direction the penis is naturally angled, so there is less risk of hurting him.


Moving too fast

Moving way too fast, almost like a jackhammer, can quickly dry you up, and create the unwanted kind of friction.


The fix

Easy: slow down! There’s a chance you’re moving fast like this because you think he wants it. He doesn’t.


Involving your teeth

Just a quick reminder: most guys do not want any teeth down there. Zero. Nothing. Nilch. Nada. But maybe you don’t know how to get your teeth out of the way…


The fix

Fun story: I learned how to give a proper BJ from an adult star! I won’t say who, but she taught me this trick: get a frozen banana, put your lips at the top of it, and suck it into your mouth such that the banana goes further and further back. Use only your lips. Now mimic that movement on your partner! You want to move your lips as if you’re trying to pull his member into your mouth with them. If your teeth are still in the way, you may need to depend on your hands, some lube, and just keep your lips to the tip.

Taking off the condom

You want to be helpful, lend a hand, do a little work around here…so you take the condom off for him. He can just keep resting and recovering. But if you take it off wrong at all, your man could feel like you snapped a hair tie on his penis.

The fix

Let him take it off. Honestly, he might think it’s hot when you put it on him, but once the deed is over, he doesn’t really care if you take it off or he does.






Having sex when he’s not erect

If your partner isn’t completely erect, maybe you’re impatient, or you don’t want to offend him, so you just go ahead and have sex. But this probably leads to you moving a lot more aggressively, to make up for the loss of sensation from his slightly soft member. And you might end up hurting him.

The fix

Put in the extra effort, have some patience and wait until he is completely erect to have intercourse. If it’s just not happening today, then maybe help him with your mouth or hand.

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