Oh ladies, what are we going to do with ourselves? We’re forgiving by nature. We like to give people the benefit of the doubt. It often works in our favor but not when it comes to matters of the heart. When it comes to love, we need to give ourselves real talk more often. Instead, we’ll sometimes tell ourselves these lies in relationships.
I’m fine with something casual
Yup. Totally. It doesn’t bother me that he doesn’t want to commit to me. I’m totally just “Going with the flow right now.” It’s okay that I have more feelings for him than he has for me.
It’s normal not to say, “I love you” after two years
Maybe he’s just taking his time! Maybe it’s just not something they said in his family! Maybe he thinks it but he just doesn’t say it. Yeah. That must be it.
He’ll come around to marriage
Even though he literally rants on how he doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage every time somebody mentions it, he’ll change his mind…for me.
He’ll come around to kids
Sure, he moves his body as far away as possible from any child in the room but he secretly adores them. He says he never ever wants them and that I should know that and I should be with somebody else if I want them but…he’ll change his mind.
Love doesn’t have to feel exciting
It can feel calm and, um, balanced. Yeah. Exciting love is for the movies. I like that my relationship is predictable.
It’s good we have separate social lives
Why should I meet his friends or he mine? We had separate social lives before meeting and we can keep it that way! I don’t mind. I really don’t mind that my friends always ask me where my boyfriend is or that he makes me leave before his friends show up. That’s fine!
He’s right—he shouldn’t have to pay for date night
I mean…he’s right. I should pay for date night. Why should he have to pay? Chivalry is…old fashioned. He’s totally right about that. It’s cool that I pay for most of date nights even though he makes good money.
It’s normal not to have met his parents after two years
That’s a big deal! He probably just…wants alone time with them when they come to town because he barely sees them.
So we don’t have sex every week. Big deal.
We’ve been dating for, like, a year and a half now! Can’t be in the honeymoon phase forever! Sex twice a month is great! Great, great, GREATTTT.
He’s right—I shouldn’t burden him with my problems
He’s obviously had a long day. It was inconsiderate of me to vent to him about how my boss is mean to me. He’s right. It’s not all about me.
We don’t have to talk on the phone every day…
I mean I don’t need that. I’m perfectly fine with the fact that sometimes I go entire days not talking to my boyfriend. I’m not clingy so, it’s cool.
It’s his money—he can spend it how he wants
It’s okay that he bought his friend ten rounds of drinks but says he doesn’t want to spend money on a weekend away with me. It’s his money after all…
He doesn’t have to care about my hobbies—they’re my hobbies
He’s right. Why should he have to come with me to my friend’s art gallery opening? I’m the one who is into art, not him.
Three nights together a week is plenty
Plenty! That’s like, almost fifty percent of the nights!
Plenty of couples watch TV every night!
Everybody runs out of things to talk about. Eventually, everybody just watches TV all night and then goes to sleep without sharing anything. Yup. Normal.