Signs Your Man Is Jealous Of Your Career

May 5, 2015  |  
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Some women ignore the way their partners speak about their careers. They just think, “Well, what’s that got to do with our relationship?” But your career is a big part of who you are, and your partner should care about it and be a support system. Unfortunately, sometimes our men can be jealous of our careers and our success, and when that’s the case, the entire relationship suffers. Here are signs he may be insecure.

When you get a surprise promotion, he’s confused

His first reaction is to ask, “Wasn’t your coworker up for that?” or “Really? I thought you had to work there for at least five years before getting that position?” Maybe he even asks, “Did they say why you got it?”

When he should be thrilled

The normal reaction of someone who is rooting for you is immediate joy. Asking you questions like, “Don’t you have to work there five years before getting that position” is essentially your partner’s way of finding holes in what happened or poking holes in your confidence. It’s his way of disqualifying or making your successes smaller. He’s looking for some explanation other than that you’re just an awesome hard worker, to make sense of how this great thing could happen to you.

He calls you selfish for discussing your work

You have been under pressure at work lately, or maybe even just excited about something new happening at your place of employment. So you’ve been talking about it a lot. Your partner explodes at you one day, saying you’re selfish and not everything is about you.

He should feel your ups and downs

If your partner is really on your side, he feels your losses and your joys. He is invested in your career, as if it were his own, and would never call you selfish for talking about it.

He makes comments about your colleagues

Your partner never makes negative comments about you, but he makes backhanded, sly remarks about people “in your industry.” He doesn’t seem to think highly of them, and often says things like, “Well, that’s just how people in your line of work are.”

 

But you are your colleagues

When your partner disrespects people in your line of work he is disrespecting you. Even if you are in many ways different from your colleagues, you also share a lot of their character traits and values, or else you wouldn’t be in the same line of work. Your partner knows that, and he is slyly insulting you. And enjoying it.

He tells you that you’ve changed

Your partner tells you that your job has “changed you.” He tells you that it’s made you less sweet, less patient, and less nurturing.

Because you have your own life

Hmmm…notice anything about those adjectives? “Sweet,” “patient,” and “nurturing?” They have to do with being maternal. Your partner is upset that your attention isn’t all on him anymore.

He tells you not to get ahead of yourself

You get an opportunity—like a job interview with someone big—and your imagination begins to run wild. You start fantasizing out loud about all the things this could lead to in your career. Your partner reminds you to “not get ahead of yourself.” He tells you he’s “just looking out for your best interest so you’re not disappointed.”

He should be right there with you

Your partner should believe in you and support you so much that he gets ahead of you for you! He should enjoy getting wrapped up in talking about potential opportunities for you. Your partner is the last person who should tell you not to get ahead of yourself. Life will tell you that. Your partner should help you be a dreamer.

He won’t come to your work events

You’ve tried countless times to drag your partner to your office parties and he just says, “Those people aren’t really your friends are they? I’ll make an effort with your real friends, but not your coworkers.”

They should be your friends

You should have some level of friendship with your coworkers! It’s good for morale, which is, in turn, good for your career. Your partner knows that, but he doesn’t want to be a part of making a better work environment for you.

He doesn’t work with your schedule

Your partner is constantly purchasing tickets to events that are way too late at night when he knows you have to get up early for work. Or he agrees to long weekends away with friends when he knows you can’t leave work early on Fridays.

He should want to include you

Your partner should want you to not only be able to go with him to events and activities, but to also enjoy yourself. He should never make you feel like you have to choose between your social life and your job. But that’s exactly what he wants to do by not bending for your schedule at all. He wants you to resent your job, just like he does.

It should work, even when you work

When the right partner comes along, you’ll rarely feel guilty about your job. You’ll always feel excited to share news about your career. You’ll never feel you’re talking too much about work. Your partner will be on your team in every aspect of your life, including your job.

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