There’s a fine line between wishing you had what someone else does and feeling resentful it’s not yours. Jealousy is a powerful emotion that, unfortunately, can make the prettiest person really ugly. Let’s face it, we’re human and don’t always make the best decisions. The first step in change is admittance, right? Here are some signs you have major jealous tendencies.
Can’t genuinely feel happy
How do you react when someone you know has something wonderful happen in their lives? Hopefully, you’re happy for them; but unfortunately, this is not always the case. In fact, many people who struggle with jealousy find it difficult to be happy for others.
Have to tear down to understand
“That’s nice she’s able to do that. I’m surprised though considering…”
Stop right there.
Honey, you have major jealousy issues if you constantly have to tear folks down in order to understand why they have what they have. Can’t you just be happy for them and move on?
Look for ways you’re better
Try your best to take the attention off you for a moment. There’s no need to list all the ways you think you’re better than someone. If that really makes you feel better or relevant, you need some help.
Don’t accept new people easily
No new friends?
While it’s understandable some people have hesitations about opening up, this doesn’t give you the right to say who can and can’t be in the inner circle of others. Jealous friends are notorious for trying to make it hard for their bffs to have other bonds and friendships.
Have to remove yourself from others
Y’all remember the show “Girlfriends” and how hard it was for Joan to be happy about Toni’s wedding? She did everything in her power to distance herself from events leading to her special day because it was too hard to be happy without thinking about herself.
This is jealousy folks.
Significant others can’t have certain friends
It’s one thing to want to stay in the know, but it’s a completely different story if you demand your love not to have certain friends–especially those of the opposite sex. Take a chill pill and try to be more understanding.
Must have control
Jealous people have a tendency to want control. This way, they’re able to dictate how events and situations pan out in efforts to see the results they want. Otherwise, they will deal with the same feelings (e.g. inadequacy and self-doubt) that troubles them.
Want others to feel their pain
“If I’m hurt, everyone else needs to feel my pain.”
Just because you can’t find joy in your life doesn’t mean everyone else must suffer the same fate. Why make others feel bad because you do?
Think you’re perfect
Needless to say, many people struggling with jealous tendencies think there’s nothing wrong with them. In fact, it will more than likely be hard for them to point out their own flaws and shortcomings.
Get really clingy
Jealousy can come in many different forms and being clingy is one of them. Whether you’re afraid you’re going to lose someone or something, certain jealous folks will do their best to hold on as tight as they can.
Constantly try to “one-up”
Why can’t you just be happy for someone–or let them live–without finding a way you’re better? Be careful if you’re always trying to one-up another person. It’s not a competition.
Have no problems sneaking and spying
You might want to work on your trust issues a little more if you find it hard to not become Inspector Gadget in your relationship. Stop searching through your partner’s phone, computer and even coat pockets. If you can’t trust, you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
Have low self-esteem
It might be hard to admit but doesn’t mean it’s not true. Jealous behavior is typically an outward expression of something lacking on the inside. If you truly loved yourself, you wouldn’t care what others had. Be content in your journey, it’s yours.
Are the queen of pettiness
Constructive criticism is okay from time to time and when it comes from the heart. Try to steer clear of petty behavior that will have you criticizing and nit-picking the smallest things a person does.
Are always bitter
Don’t act too surprised if people start to distance themselves from you. Jealousy breeds bitterness that can make it next to impossible for you to have a healthy relationship with others. Please don’t lose out on having folks who love you in your life because you refuse to work on yourself.