8 Annoying Things Straight Girls Do At Lesbian Bars - Page 5

For some reason, the moment straight women get around gay women, they act like they’re in a foreign country. In other words, they mean well but they don’t know the culture so they offend people. Here are 8 annoying things straight girls do at lesbian bars.

Ask for an appraisal

When you find out a woman is gay, you ask her how you would rank on the gay market. You twirl around, showing off your assets, demanding an honest answer, “Would you do me?!”

It’s vein and it’s teasing

Imagine if you did this to a guy—twirled around, bent over, pushed up your boobs and asked for an appraisal. He would think for sure you were hitting on him or at the very least being a huge tease. If you really do just want an appraisal, that’s pretty vein. Go post a selfie: you’ll get your appraisal.

Talk about your one lesbian experience

In an attempt to show how open you are, you tell a lesbian all about the time you had a lesbian experience. You tell her every, teeny, tiny, steamy detail. Almost in a play-by-play manner, as if you want her to critique your performance.

Saying, “I wish I was gay”

Again, in a spaz moment, trying to prove you’re comfortable with lesbians, you tell one, “I wish I was gay. Lesbian relationships are probably so much easier than straight ones.”

All relationships are difficult

It’s belittling to tell a lesbian that you assume lesbian relationships are easier—you’re pretty much saying they’re less complex and layered.

Saying, “If I were gay, you’d so be my type”

You think you’re being nice. Maybe you want her to know she doesn’t “look like a lesbian.”

She doesn’t care

You’re not gay, so what good does this information do her? This is like saying to a guy, “If I were single, you’d be my type” when you’re not single. If you’re not on the market—whatever market that may be—don’t talk about what you’d do if you were.

Being weird about accepting a drink

If a lesbian offers you a drink, don’t start with the, “I’m not gay” thing. Or the “I can buy my own drink” thing.

Just say “Yes” or “No”

What’s your stance on accepting drinks from men you’re not interested in? There is no reason you should change your stance with lesbians. If you’re the type who accepts a free drink under all circumstances because, hey, the person offered—take the drink. If you always say no, just in case they have expectations, then say no.

Going out of your way to prove you’re comfortable

You don’t want to be the straight girl who dances ten feet away from the lesbian or just shakes her hand when you meet—you’re so cooler than that. So you hold her hand, you sit on her lap and you dance really close to show how comfortable you are.

That’s not fair

Once again, ask yourself how this would make a straight guy feel. He would think you were using him to make someone jealous, or you were teasing him, or you just wanted attention.

Taking the “girl’s position” in dancing

A lesbian asks you to dance and you think it’s funny to let her take the lead, as if she is the man in the scenario.

Just because you’re straight doesn’t mean you’re the “girl”

How do you like it when men force you into gender stereotypes? How do you like being forced into any stereotype? Exactly.

Telling a lesbian couple how hot they are

You’re a little drunk and you’re obsessed with this one lesbian couple at the bar. You constantly go up to them, getting right in their faces (while they’re making out) saying how hot you think they are. You tell them they’re “The hottest lesbian couple you’ve ever met.”

That’s intrusive

They’re not an exhibit. And no—they’re not flattered that you think they’re an attractive coupe. It would be weird and intrusive if you acted like this to a straight couple and it’s weird and intrusive if you act like this to a gay couple.