Ask A Very Smart Brotha: Is Cheating A Disease?

Valenchia: My husband and I have a very strange relationship. It feels more like we’re roommates. He has his money and I have mine. I pay my portion of everything and when we purchase anything for the house, I have to give him half of what it costs. We divide up the groceries so even that is 50/50. Money is a huge thing for him. I don’t have any, but he has money in three different banks, savings, stocks, and gold. He says he’s taken years to save that and he should be able to do whatever he wants with it. In the three years we’ve been married, he’s purchased a mini-yacht (that has yet to see the water), thousands of dollars worth of accessories to go with the boat, guns and ammo, a reloader and all kinds of things to go with that, a helicopter/drone (so he could see above the boat as we’re in it. In essence, he buys on a whim, whatever he wants. It drives me crazy, but I can’t say anything because it’s “his” money. What do you say about this arrangement. Am I out of line to be upset?

DY: This is a very strange arrangement. But, I’m assuming he was this way before you married him. I’m pretty certain these feelings about money didn’t just develop overnight. So, what is it about his behavior now that’s upsetting you that wasn’t upsetting you then?