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In the wise words of Chris Rock: “when you’re first meeting someone, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative.” So with that in mind, most people who come into your life might not completely be on the up and up. Someone that you find that you might initially click with, could use all of your secrets against you if you make them mad.
The lessons of life can be harsh, but can be easier if you have a cheat sheet when it comes to people. In life, trust is something that should be earned, and these are signs and traits to let you know that a person could be trustworthy.
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Having a Proven Track Record
Habits are hard to form, but even more difficult to break. If a person has a proven track record of gossiping, talking behind other people’s backs, or retelling mean and unflattering stories to embarrass someone else, they’re showing you how they’ll treat you as well.
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Honesty
The truth can be hard for some people, but for others, it’s the cornerstone of trust. If a person can be honest with you, even when it hurts or is inconvenient for them, that’s a person you can trust.
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Consistent Values
Wishy washy people are rarely good for trust. Someone that you can trust can stand firm on what they believe. Not saying that they aren’t allowed some wiggle room to evolve ideas, grow, or even change. But if someone’s values change as frequently as they change underwear, then you might not be able to trust them to be consistent with you.
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Integrity
Not only does the person need to stand firm in things that they believe, but having morals is important as well. Not saying that they need to be religious, but if they don’t see an issue with stealing, lying, or even some of the bigger vices, that’s not a good sign of trust.
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Intentions
There is a group of people who pride themselves on “keeping it real,” so they’ll put you in your place in the most inopportune time (like in front of a crowd of people). There’s a difference between “keeping it real” and being real rude.
If a person’s behavior is self-pleasing, or meant to embarrass you, then they might not be the most trustworthy person.
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If They Have Your Best Interest
Piggybacking off of the previous point, a trustworthy person’s critique of you should be to help you grow and get better in life. Even if they’re telling you something that you don’t want to hear, they’re doing so with the hopes of making you better.
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Benevolence
Not everyone is going to feel charitable all the time, but if you have a person in your life who can be extremely sincere, and show a sense of benevolence, then that’s a trustworthy person.
A person who is willing to give, besides themselves, and not keep score, is a person you can trust.
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Caring
A selfish person might not have the tools that a person needs to be trustworthy. If someone is willing to be all about me-me-me, then it shows that they might not be strong enough to be trusting to anyone but themselves.
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Support
Life isn’t just about you, but your interactions with others, and how you handle them. If someone that you’re interacting with wants you to achieve just like them, that’s a trustworthy person.
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Encouragement
A sure sign that you can trust someone is if they’re an encouraging person to be around. Someone who encourages you, your growth, and good decisions is a good person that you can trust.
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Security
Trust is all about security, to know that what you tell that person can stay between you and them. If you tell someone something private, and then your other friends (who you didn’t tell) ask you about it, then that person isn’t trustworthy.
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Peaceful Resolution
Another sign of trust is a person who is willing to handle disagreements peacefully. If a conflict arises, and the person is resorting to low blows, revealing private information to other people out of spite, and similar distasteful actions, then you can’t really trust that person.
You might not always agree or like things that people in your life have done, but to be a trustworthy person you have to get to a point of peacefully resolving things without being malicious.
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Magnanimous
To piggy back on the previous post, someone who is willing to forgive, who isn’t looking out for revenge, or is full of spite is a person who you can trust..
People who are filled with such anger, unforgiveness, and the such might not be filled with trustworthy attributes.
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Time
Trust shouldn’t be something that is easily given, it should be earned. You can see if someone is trustworthy be looking for the red flags, and slowly taking risks, and also, once a person shows you who they are, believe them. A leopard can’t change its spots, and a person who isn’t trustworthy will show you in due time.
