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Office arguments can get intense. But if you know how to handle yourself during one, you can come out the winner. Most people tend to avoid conflict, but sometimes confrontation is necessary. It can not only clear the air between those who are in disagreement, but can actually spark creativity.
Despite this, many people go out of their way to avoid confrontation in the workplace. Not out of fear of causing a ruckus, but because they think they will fail. “In surveys, 85 percent of European and American executives say they fear raising issues or conflicts because they do not want to get into arguments they can’t manage and would lose,” reports USA Today.
But there is a way everyone–even you–can win an argument at work. Here are nine tips on how to do just that.
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Don’t Argue, Persuade
The way you win people over to your way of thinking is not by arguing with them, but by using your persuasive skills. Arguing can turn people off and they won’t even listen, instead they will fight back. “When an argument starts, persuasion stops,” reports Business Insider. When a “discussion becomes an argument. It’s no longer an exercise in logic and reasoning. It’s just a fight…So if you’re trying to win over someone whose natural allegiances are not with you, getting into an argument is a sure way to fail.” Instead stay calm and present your side of the issue in a logical manner.
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Make Sure You Are In The Right
Have evidence to back up your argument. And real evidence. Don’t try to win by lying. So do your research on the topic.
“Say you’re debating the general issue of gun control with someone. The base level of the argument is whether you’re ‘against’ gun control or ‘for’ gun control as a policy, but really the issue is much more complicated than that. Before you even think about ‘choosing a side,’ start generating some probing questions that will narrow the issue and force you to define the terms,” reports Wiki How.
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Ask The Right Questions
Asking questions doesn’t mean you are losing the argument, but rather it puts you in control of the situation. “If you can ask the right questions you can stay in control of the discussion and make your opponent scramble for answers,” reports Life Hack. “You can ask questions that challenge his point, ‘What evidence do you have for that claim?’ You can ask hypothetical questions that extrapolate a trend and give your opponent a difficulty, ‘What would happen if every nation did that?’ Another useful type of question is one that calmly provokes your foe, ‘What is about this that makes you so angry?’” In other words, use your questions to turn the tables on your opponent.
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Listen & Observe
Stop talking for a few minutes and take time to check out your opponent. By listening to her tone and observing her mannerisms, you can get a feed on her confidence level. “Many people are so focused on what they are going to say that they ignore their opponent and assume his arguments. It is better to listen carefully. You will observe weaknesses and flaws in his position and sometimes you will hear something new and informative!” reports Life Hack.
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Don’t Put It All Out There
You may feel like talking on and on. But there is such a thing as giving too much info. You don’t need to throw in the kitchen sick to win an argument. “Embrace the idea that sometimes, less is more. We’ve all been in meetings where someone asks a simple question and the person in charge goes on and on unnecessarily in response. Remember that most questions can be answered simply. Remind yourself. Everyone you work with will appreciate your ability to be concise. And frankly, it’s also polite. We like the sound of our own voices more than other people do,” reports Entrepreneur.
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Be A Good Sport
When your opponent has a valid point, tell them so. The point of an argument is not always to be a winner at all costs. If your co-worker has a better solution for a problem, know when it is time to concede. “Be prepared to concede a good point,” reports Life Hack. “Don’t argue every point for the sake of it. If your adversary makes a valid point then agree but outweigh it with a different argument. This makes you looked reasonable. ‘I agree with you that prison does not reform prisoners. That is generally true but prison still acts effectively as a deterrent and a punishment.’”
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Embrace Silence
If there comes a time when no one is talking, don’t feel the need to fill the silence with words. Use silence to your advantage.
“Get comfortable with awkward silences. When it comes to the art of negotiation, I’ve learned a simple truth: Never speak first. After I explicitly state what it is I want, I clam up. When we’re uncomfortable with an awkward silence, it’s tempting to fill it quickly, but if you do, you might end up saying something without thinking it through. I’ve discovered that the first person to speak usually loses the argument. So make your point, be confident and force yourself to wait for a response,” reports Entrepreneur.
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Point Out The Flaws
Use your words to show why logically your argument is better than your opponents. Highlight the flaws in his stance. “Identify logical fallacies in your opponents argument. A logical fallacy is a flaw in reasoning that are commonly used to make weak arguments appear stronger. Study these and learn to recognize them quickly, and you’ll be able to quickly dismantle weak arguments,” reports Wiki How.
