A broe is a bro who is, for lack of a better word, a hoe. You know, a man who has trouble keeping his legs closed. Here’s how to tell if you have one on your hands.
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He Keeps A Ton of Condoms Around
He’s out of milk and dish soap, but there are condoms on the dresser, in his wallet, in the glove compartment and under the pillow.
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All of His Friends Are Hoes
Birds of a feather flock together.
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He Dresses Like One
He knows what he’s doing.
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He Has A Lot of Female “Friends”
And they never look happy to see you.
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He Doesn’t Respect His Mother
Or women in general.
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He Has Hoe Accessories
The sheets are silk, the bed is spinning and there’s a mirror on the ceiling. Need a spare toothbrush? Hair tie? Pair of pajamas? He’s got it all “just in case guests drop by”.
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Most of His Selfies Are Shirtless
And his hundreds of all-female Facebook friends comment on each one.
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He’s A Big Fan of Stevie J’s
Or any of those other hoe-models out there.
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All Your Calls Go Straight to Voicemail
If it was on it’d be ringing off the hook.
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His Bedroom Game Is Extra Good
Practice makes perfect. Where do you think he’s been learning all of those new tricks?
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He Knows Way Too Much About Women’s Fashion
Like where you got your underwear from, the best places to get your nails done and who charges too much for tracks — because he’s spent a lot of money at those places (on other women).
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His Flirt Game Is Flawless
If a man is too smooth you should be suspicious.
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He Knows All the Local ‘Mos
And their hourly rates…
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He Defends Other Broes
With stuff like “all men cheat” or “most men aren’t designed to be faithful”. At least not him…
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He Never Talks About His Past Relationships
Because there aren’t any. Just a long string of one night stands.
