Before You Jump The Broom: 14 Things To Know Before You Get Married

You will contemplate divorce, at least once.

For married women, it’s basically a rite of passage. Your marriage hasn’t “made it” until you’ve almost been divorced – and fought to make it work. The best things in life don’t come easy.

Submission is a necessary blow to your ego.

Mutual submission is essential to longevity. Be prepared to trade in selfishness for selflessness, humility for pride. The happiest couples are people willing to put their spouse’s needs ahead of their own.

It’s OK to schedule sex.

Date nights, too. Better to designate time for getting it in than running the chance of hitting a dry spell.

But don’t forget how to be spontaneous.

The things you did when you were dating – to the best of your ability, keep doing them. Keep it fun and flirty. Marriage should be for the better, not worse.

Be willing to say sorry first–a lot.

It’s possible that you might have to be the “bigger person” more than you hoped or expected. Keep forgiving.

Character building hurts.

Each season of marriage comes with different growing pains, especially the newlywed and early childhood years. Be prepared and willing to reflect on areas in need of improvement sooner than later. Your marriage will suffer if you don’t.

Don’t keep tallies.

In most arguments, the issue is not the real problem. It’s a buildup of all of his past transgressions you’ve been tabbing. Address problems as they arise, find a solution and move on. If something is so terrible you can’t see yourself letting it go and it continues to happen, it’s time for you to stop arguing and make a decision for your sanity.

Talk every day.

Marriages are like flowers; they need to be watered regularly. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes over coffee each morning, set aside time to talk and share with one another. It is easy to get complacent and think words in passing during your busy week are enough, but it’s not.

Your purr is stronger than your roar.

Pumping up your chest and firing off on your man won’t get you anywhere. In fact, the minute you begin roaring like a lion, men stop listening. Gentleness, on the other hand, is the best way to make yourself heard. Have a strong opinion about a major household decision? Present your perspective, let him know you trust his judgment too, and leave it alone. More often than not, he’ll side with you.

Before you have babies, people will ask you when you’re going to have a baby. When you have babies, people will ask when you’re going to have more babies.

Passively-aggressively inform them that it’s none of their business. Then smile. You’ll be amazed at the number of inappropriately invasive questions people feel they can ask you. But, be sure to discuss your parenting plans with your husband to ensure that you are on the same page.

Only one person can be the breadwinner.

If you’re planning on having kids, it’s important to decide early on who’s going to make the sacrifices professionally. It’s impossible to be an ever-present parent and climb the ranks of corporate America. That doesn’t mean leaving the workforce altogether or giving up on your dreams; the journey may just be more grassroots and entrepreneurial than initially envisioned.

Your mother-in-law will likely overstep her boundaries.

In her heart, he’ll always be her baby. With that in mind, extend a bit of sympathy before gently pumping her brakes, and give your husband the opportunity to address her first. If you’re one of the lucky ones, she’ll respect your wishes and you two will form a special friendship.

You’ll probably start drinking more.

Not because you’re depressed. In a 2012 study, sociologists found men generally drink more than women, so married women tend to consume more alcohol than single women because their husbands do – mostly because couples enjoy drinking together.

It’s not his job to make you happy.

Happiness isn’t a state of being; it’s a state of mind controlled by the individual. It’s also contagious. Purposefully happy couples tend to have happy homes.