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Today Mariah Carey turns 44 or 45 — she won’t confirm with Wikipedia so I don’t know either — but what I do know is it’s my favorite singer in the whole wide world’ s birthday and attention must be paid.

I’ve loved Mimi ever since “Vision of Love,” but if it’s one thing I know about my girl it’s she will write and sing just about anything in a song to make it rhyme. Sometimes you don’t catch the foolishness on first listen, but when you really go back and look up Mariah Carey’s lyrics, you have no choice sometimes but to say, she is an absolute fool! So, without further adieu, I bring you the funniest Mariah Carey lyrics of all time. Happy Birthday Mimi!

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