14 Universal Things That Make Women Mad Without Fail

Give us some credit: we can be understanding about most things. But there are some behaviors that make the blood of even the coolest girlfriends boil.

Giving us time until we “calm down”

When we’re telling you everything you’ve done wrong, pacing around the room, yelling, about to pull our own hair out, instead of defending yourself or even engaging, you back away slowly—as if we’re a psycho—and say, “I’m just going to give you some time to calm down.” Um no. We want to talk about this ish right now!

Saying you’ll “stay out of it”

When we come to you furious about something our best friend has done, certain we have been wronged, fuming about the injustice of it all, you say, “I’m just going to stay out of it…” If we wanted you to stay out of it we wouldn’t be telling you about it.

Getting mad because we push for sex

We insist for just a moment or two after you’ve said you’re tired, and you pull out this line: “I’m not just here for your physical pleasure.” Oh PLEASE! Men will try a dozen times to initiate sex after a woman says she’s too tired. Suddenly you’re the victim because we nibbled on your ear?!

Ask if you “have to” come along

When we ask if you’ll come with us to our office holiday party or our parents’ anniversary party you ask, like a whining child, “Do I have tooooo?” Gee. Thanks for the support. Can’t wait to drag you there now, knowing you’d rather be elsewhere.

Not responding when we yell

When we are furious with you, point out something you clearly did wrong, you just give us a blank stare and don’t say a word, as if somebody else is going to come in and talk for you. Once again, you make us feel like we’re the crazy ones.

Ditch us at a party

We understand five of your old college buddies are here and there’s bottle service: that doesn’t mean we should be stuck on the couch with the rest of the girlfriends the entire night.

Tease other women with your buddies

Your buddies are cracking jokes about how overweight one woman is that one of them slept with, and you partake. We don’t like that. We don’t like that one bit.

Suggest we stay in for the 5th weekend in a row

You’re right: drinking at home is cheaper, eating at home is cheaper, and we get to stay in our pajamas. These are all perfectly valid points. But has it ever occurred to you that once in a while we want a reason to get dressed up and be fawned over?!

Forget to introduce us

If you truly do just forget, you better work on getting better at this fast. If you forget to introduce us to people at a party or event, we just think you’re embarrassed of us, or not fully committed, or cheating.

Rant about us on Facebook

We do not appreciate jokes on Facebook, for everyone to see, about how you’re not getting laid enough or we left our little pink razors all over your bathroom. Thanks for making us out to be the most annoying girlfriend in the world. When did nice posts go out of style?

Blow off our work talk

When we vent for ten minutes about how a coworker is undermining us, you best agree she is a terrible person, and come up with advice on how we deal with it, plus some funny, snarky jokes about that coworker to cheer us up. A patronizing pat on the knee and a, “That sucks babe” doesn’t make us feel that you take our careers very seriously.

Suggest we have sex instead of argue

When we’re fuming, you come over, start trying to make out with us, and clearly try to steer things to the bed while you say, “Shhh, shhh, shhh…let’s not fight.” Sex doesn’t fix things!

Leave the bedroom immediately after sex

It’s okay if you don’t like to cuddle for thirty minutes, but if the TV is on, or you’re eating,  your laptop is open, video games are up and running within ten minutes after sex, we feel used.