Okay ladies. You’ve found someone special. He or she is making your heart flutter and your toes curl on a regular basis and they seem more than happy doing that. Yet you just can’t quite relax and enjoy the feeling for fear they may be participating in some…extracurricular activities, if you will. Here are a few signs of a jealous lover; if you find you identify with too many of them, it may be time to change your ways or change your partner:
1) You Have a Family Plan…On One Phone: Your boo can’t get a text message, email or even a calendar reminder without you hopping up and saying “who’s that?” It’s one thing to be aware of women who may be overstepping their boundaries, but it’s another to act like you are the joint owner of your lover’s phone. You should find out about that “I miss you” text from his ex because he told you, not because you picked up his Blackberry and read it while he was asleep.
2) Date Night= Every Night That Ends In ‘Y’: If you and your lover are inseparable because you can’t get enough of one another, that’s one thing. If you are stuck like glue because you don’t trust her out in the streets with anyone but you, that’s a whole different story. While your lover shouldn’t be tearing up the club without you five days a week, you should be able to trust your S.O. to be your S.O. even when you aren’t by her side.
3) You Can Name Every Woman Who’s on His ‘Friends’ List: You can look at your honey’s Facebook and post something on his wall. But checking his page multiple times a day, asking for details on every girl he’s connected to on there and commenting on everything he posts just “so them broads know what time it is” and insisting that he uses a couple’s pic as his profile pic at all times and getting mad that he won’t add “in a relationship with” to his profile….(a small caveat: if he has his status as “single”, then yes, you have some room to get annoyed. However, if he has no romantic status listed whatsoever, then demanding that he changes that so everyone knows about you is just…)
4) Passwords Aren’t Protected: You might need to curb your jealousy if you have either demanded passwords from your lover or if you managed to decipher them on your own. If you are up reading emails from last February at 3AM because you figured that her password to her phone is her dog’s name, this may be the time for you to do some serious re-evaluation of your situation.
5) You Two Can’t Hang Out With Other Women: Your honey is having a party for his birthday at the club. His homeboys and his homegirls are there, as well as other women who are patronizing the venue. You have attached yourself to his side so closely, one might think you were conjoined twins. He can’t so much as speak to another woman unless he adds “Have you met my girlfriend? She’s prettier than you, right?”
6) You Make Surprise Appearances: You find yourself concerned that any time he’s without you is prime cheating time. Fast forward to “Hey, honey! I know it’s your weekly 2PM staff meeting, but I thought ‘What a great time to surprise him with lunch!” No bueno.
7) You ‘Check in’ With His Friends and Family: Having a relationship with your love’s loved ones is great! The friend and family co-sign is invaluable. However, if you call his line brothers to pry about what really happened at their chapter reunion, or you only check in with his mother when you heard that his ex-girlfriend stopped by to visit her…you might lose that co-sign soon.
8) You’re Constantly Snooping: Checking receipts, counting condoms, emptying his pockets, measuring the contents of liquor bottles, sniffing laundry…this is no life to live, girlfriend.
9) You Feel, Well, JEALOUS: Everyone is susceptible to moments of doubt or annoyance at some other woman’s presence, but when you are constantly feeling insecure, angry or unsafe in your relationship as it relates to fidelity…something’s gotta give. If your feelings are relatively unfounded, you need to figure out why you can’t relax; if your partner has given you tons of ammo to question his loyalty, then you need to decide if this is reallt a good situation for you in the first place.
