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There are literally dozens of ways to tell something to someone, without looking them in the face, or even letting them hear your voice. And that’s made some of us lax. In case you’re the type to text before you think, let this list of things that should never be texted serve as a stern warning.


If you text your boyfriend to say, “You were looking awfully cozy with your coworker,” you will interpret his responses as lies because you can’t hear his voice. And you’re also disrespecting him by bringing up something that requires much further discussion, in a forum in which he can hardly explain himself.

The “L” word

Don’t say, “I love you” for the first time over text! If the person says it back, you just robbed yourself of an incredible experience of seeing his face and hearing the words come out of his mouth. If he doesn’t say it back, all you get is a cold, non-emotional text, and it seems like he feels no remorse.

A pregnancy scare

Whoever is receiving that text will have a lot of questions like… “Are you sure?” “Is it mine?” “How do you know?” “How long have you known?” “What do you want to do about it?” Don’t make him text that.

Your feelings about the relationship lately

If you’ve been feeling something is seriously lacking in your relationship, don’t send your boyfriend enough texts to fill up the storage capacity on his phone. That’s way too much reading, and it gives him no chance to interject. Honestly, it sounds like a breakup when you do it in a way that doesn’t allow the person to fully respond.

Hanging with an ex

Don’t tell your current boyfriend that you’re going to get a friendly coffee with your ex over text. This makes him think that if he could see your face or hear your voice when you said this, he’d know you still have feelings for that ex. If it really is on the up and up, you can tell your partner face to face.

Sexual critique

It’s nice you and your partner are open about what you like in the bedroom. But no guy wants to read about the technique you’d like him to use when going down on you. That just sounds like you’re being bossy, or giving him directions to the grocery store. Say it during the act, in a sexy, soft voice.


Relocating for a job

Got offered an incredible job across the country? Congratulations! Telling your boyfriend that over text though sounds like you’ve made the decision to take it, rather than are opening up a discussion on how he feels about that.

STD results

Do we even have to explain this one?

His communication issues

If your guy isn’t great at communicating plans, or communicating his feelings, or communicating what he wants, it’s okay to encourage him to be better at it. But criticizing his lack of communication over text message is hypocritical.


A reveal about your past

It’s wonderful that you feel safe enough with your partner to share with him a traumatic event from your past. But he will feel guilty if he isn’t there to hug you when you tell him, and if he isn’t in the position to fully console you.



If you cheated, you deserve to have to look your partner in the eyes when you tell him. He’ll want to yell, he’ll want to ask questions that will humiliate you and honestly, he needs to do that and you need to allow him that one thing after what you’ve done to him. Texting him about your infidelity is cowardly.



Look at the last point and reverse it. While it might be hard for you to confront your partner if you find out he has been unfaithful, the hard part is over for you as soon as you say those few words. He is the one who has a lot of explaining/begging/crying to do. And you owe it to yourself to see and hear that he feels bad. (Hopefully he does). Oh yeah, then leave him.

An apology

How seriously would you take an apology if an emoticon were involved? If someone is truly sorry, they want the time to explain where they are coming from, and really detail how they understand your pain. Text doesn’t allow that.


If you break up with someone over text, they feel like you never cared about their feelings the entire time you were dating. It says it’s more important to you to avoid an awkward conversation than it is to make the person feel like a human being.

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