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If you’re worried you put the pressure on men a lot, or move too fast and scare them off, here’s a pretty accurate depiction of what goes on inside the minds of men and women throughout the various milestones of a relationship as they fall in love.
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Date 1: Her
“He would make a good boyfriend. I can tell from the way he ordered his food that he’s very empathetic, and curious and ambitious. I can already see us together.”
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Date 1: Him
“Nothing bad happened: she’s not annoying, she doesn’t seem crazy, and she’s cute so…I could probably go on a second date with her. ”
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Date 2: Her
“On our next date, I should take him to meet my friends. All of my friends. Does anybody have a party coming up that I can bring him to? Maybe we can make dinner together at my house first and then go to the party and have like, a solid eight-hour hang out.”
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Date 2: Him
“I’m doing a really good job at not trying to sleep with her. Can I get through two dates without trying to sleep with her? Yes, I can. You’re supposed to wait to have sex when you want a relationship…right? Or maybe, it’s just that you shouldn’t have sex on the first date…I’ll invite her over for a drink after dinner and we can just see what happens.”
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Two weeks of dating: Her
“If we’ve dated this long, he’s decided that he definitely likes me. He would have called it off after date three if he was not into it. Now we’re coasting. Hmm…do I have any plus-one events coming up in the next half year that I can invite him to now?”
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Two weeks of dating: Him
“I’m going to keep dating those three other girls, and doing those late night drunk hookups with that other girl. I’m not in anything committed.”
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Two months of dating: Her
“I have a boyfriend! I can totally start saying ‘my boyfriend and I love that restaurant’ and ‘my boyfriend and I are really tired after this weekend’ and things like that. If any other guys seem interesting to me, too bad, I have a boyfriend now.”
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Two months of dating: Him
“Maybe I should tell my drunk hook up we can’t really do that anymore. And probably stop dating those three other girls. But I’m still single, pretty much.”
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Four months of dating: Her
“It’s totally fine to invite him home for the holidays now. I even think I love him. I’ll wait for him to say it, but I do…I love him! And I don’t see any reason this relationship won’t work out now if we’ve made it this far.”
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Four months of dating: Him
“I guess I have a girlfriend now. I should call her my girlfriend. I’ll start telling other girls who flirt with me that I have a girlfriend. Maybe I’ll take her to meet some of my friends.”
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9 months of dating: Her
“Maybe in a few months he’ll ask me to move in together…A year is a totally reasonable time to bring that up. We’re a pretty serious couple now. I would rank us among the serious couples I know, like the ones who live together and are getting engaged. We’re not a new couple like my friend who has only been with her guy for four months.”
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9 months of dating: Him
“I think that maybe I love her. But I should think a little more on that before I say anything. No guarantee this thing will work out; after all, it’s only been 9 months of dating.”
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A year and a half of dating: Her
“When is he going to ask me to move in already? So that he can propose already?? It’s pretty weird he hasn’t invited me home for the holidays. We should be spending all of those together by now. We are as close as family now, basically.”
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A year and a half of dating: Him
“This is a serious relationship now. I would rank us among the serious couples I know. I can’t really see how anything could go wrong now that we’ve been dating for a year and a half.”
