You’ve recently started dating someone (or you’ve been dating someone) and you’re both basking in the glow of your relationship. You take long walks on the beach, have wonderful conversations about what your children will look like, finish each other’s sentences, and stare into each other’s eyes for hours on end. You think, “This guy/girl is great!” Then one day, you’re chilling over your significant other’s home and you notice that they happen to log out of Facebook. You let them know you also have a profile on the fabulous social networking site. Then someone nonchalantly says, “Why don’t you add me as a friend?”
Now this scenario can go one of several ways. And in an age where people willingly put all their business out there for public consumption, criticism, and critique, I‘d advise first setting up ground rules before adding your love interest as a Facebook friend. It could be the difference between relationship bliss or continual headaches.
At the end of the day, whether it’s Facebook or real life, romantic relationships should be solidly built on open and honest communication. So here are some suggestions on how to fully enjoy the experience of Facebook, without jeopardizing your relationship.
Decide If You’ll Share
We live in an age where so many people feel comfortable sharing personal details of their lives on social networking sites. So if you and your love interest have profiles on Facebook, you should have a conversation about whether you both feel comfortable announcing your relationship status on Facebook. And if you both decide to announce, also agree to notify your significant other before you update your profile in a way that directly affects them (i.e. posting pictures, break-up, etc.).
Don’t Overshare
Just because you decide to let everyone on Facebook know you’re together, doesn’t mean you need to give all 5 billion users a blow by blow of your relationship. Putting everything about your relationship online is wreckless and makes your relationship vulnerable to the comments and criticism of everyone online. Enjoy your relationship, but remember there is such a thing as TMI.
Respect Your Relationship
Many people argue that places like Facebook are just breeding grounds for cheating and other disrespectful behavior. You’ve heard other couples argue about things like: “Who are all of those guys/girls writing on your wall?” or “Why is he/she always sending posts/messages to you?” If you don’t want to have these unpleasant conversations, make sure you set boundaries with people on Facebook- and if they don’t respect those boundaries, delete/block them. Don’t invite or condone behavior that could undermine your relationship and come back later to bite you.
Know When To Pull The Plug
Personally, I think this is a bit extreme, but still a reasonable option if you believe your relationship is worth it. If you and your significant other are continually fighting over Facebook, even after you’ve taken all the steps above, you might want to consider deleting your account.
