7 Things Women Try To Change About Their Men, But Can’t - Page 11

Ladies, if you’re not happy with the way a man stacks up in any of these categories—onto the next one. These are 7 things women try to change about their men all the time and never can.

His less-than-brilliant friends

Every guy has that friend who still lives at home, or smokes all day, or works as a club promoter on the weekends and parties the rest of the week—the friend who has no idea what’s happening in the news, and who manages to bring drunk girls back to your shared apartment with your man on the weekends. And what you see is a guy who is a bad influence on your man at best, and a leech at worst.

The buddy won’t go bye-bye

This might sound odd, but be grateful for the dead-beat friend—-he’s what keeps your guy responsible. Most men who do want to lead perfectly responsible, adult lives just like to keep a wild friend around to feel in contact with their old lifestyle, without still immersing themselves in it. In fact, the more you criticize the wild-card friend, the more your guy might consider behaving just like him! Because behaving totally differently from him would mean he is “bending under your authority,” which is the last thing he wants. So fix the homies some snacks and let him hang out.

His “childish” hobbies

Maybe it’s a fantasy football league, or video games, or a beer pong team that meets weekly — whatever it is, most guys have some hobby that seems more appropriate for college students. And they will be really into it, having a permanent email thread full of ish-talking with their hobby buddies, that they check during work, or during date night.

Become a cheerleader

Like the pothead friend, the childish hobby is a controlled outlet for a grown man to let out his still hyper, immature impulses, without causing anyone any harm. If you always tell him to put the phone away when he’s checking his fantasy football stats during a movie, or roll your eyes when he gets excited about a beer pong win, he won’t stop doing these things: he’ll just stop telling you about them, stop inviting you to events affiliated with them, and eventually feel like you’re his mom instead of his girlfriend.

His sensitivity

Your just-dumped friend is at your apartment, crying her eyes out and telling you the whole story of her breakup. After you say all the right things, assure her that the guy is the one missing out, and that he probably just couldn’t handle what a wonderful woman she is, your boyfriend chimes in, “He might have just met somebody else.”

Honesty is a funny policy

Okay so “He might have just met somebody else” was the last thing your heartbroken friend needed to hear. But, men don’t dance around the truth just to spare somebody’s feelings. When they argue with one another, they’re forthcoming about their issues. And that honesty that just embarrassed you in front of your friend is the same honesty that you love when your guy tells you what’s on his mind, and you don’t have to guess how to make him happy. All you can do is perhaps ask him to keep quiet around your friends when they’re clearly upset but beyond that, tell him you like his honesty.

His priorities

It’s Sunday morning and your guy is gearing up to go watch football all day with his buddies. But wait…wasn’t there some networking event he was invited to this morning? Of course you want to tell him that his career should come before football and partying!

You can’t force ambition

Sorry, but you’re either with an ambitious guy or you’re not. And scolding your boyfriend for skipping “more important” (by your standards) events in favor of having fun will eventually feel like telling a kid he has to clean his room before he can play with his friends. You can encourage the ambitious choices you boyfriend makes, but you can’t tell him that his less-than-ambitious choices are wrong.

His feminism…or lack thereof

Your guy believes that the man should do the proposing, and that a man should pay most of the time, and that a man should fight his woman’s battles. You’re constantly challenging his ideas, doing all you can to stir up debates about feminism. Your poor boyfriend gets a look on his face like he just got put on time out and doesn’t know why.

His love of partying

Your boyfriend works long hours all week and yet still finds the energy to drink until 4 am Friday and Saturday night. You don’t think that’s how a grownup man should behave. You get embarrassed at the thought of your friends seeing him trashed at a bar.

He’s fun; you’re lucky!

Does your guy cheat on you when he’s out partying? Does he get arrested? Does he drive drunk? Does he spend zero time with you on the weekends? No? Well then, what’s the problem? So long as your guy’s partying doesn’t affect your relationship or his wellbeing, let him blow off steam in the ways he needs to. In 20 years you’ll be grateful for a man who doesn’t just want to watch TV all weekend.

His appreciation of “the small things”

You always take the time to hear a full song by street performers, you admire the adorable 90-year-old couple sharing a bowl of spaghetti and you literally stop and smell the roses. And your guy is always ten steps ahead of you, just trying to get to the movie you’re late to or the bar you’re meeting friends at. But of course you wave him over and insist he figuratively smell the roses, too.

He is sentimental in his own way

Often when a woman is pushing to make her man more appreciative of “the small things” it’s so that she can see his romantic or sentimental side. But keep in mind that not everybody shows that side the exact same way you do. Think about it: does your guy do other sweet things for you, like build a set of shelves for your bathroom, or walk your dog for you when you’re running late to get dressed? Men tend to show that they are thoughtful in more pragmatic ways, and that’s okay.